What do overweight 40+ women wear on a night out?

[BetsyBobbin]

I've been invited to a gig by some much younger work colleagues. We get on pretty well, I like them and they like me, age has never come into the conversation. They invited me to a gig (it wasn't out of politeness, I swear) and I really want to go.

However: I don't want to go looking like mutton dressed as lamb, neither with a twin set and a pearl necklace. Obviously being a size 18 Apple shape doesn't really help with choices, so what do I do? I'm looking at some COS stuff but I doubt they would look nice on a size 18. Please help!

I too was going to say disco kids. I am similar size and I wear mainly Cos for work. Disco kids T-shirts are my bit of fun. I think loose T-shirts are probably more fashionable but I have the shaped women’s cut and they are flattering.

I was going to suggest avoiding the band t-shirt. OK at 19 - not so much at 40.

As PPs suggest, aim for something lightweight, loose, and with comfy shoes as a priority. Maybe a top in brighter colours so if you get separated from the group they can see you (experience).

Have a look on Yours or Simply Be websites, lots of nice tops in that size to go with your black jeans and jacket combo. I'm especially enjoying the animal print on there, some with bows to add some interest. I also got a nice leopard Midi dress from Asda George recently with two bows at the neckline which looks great with black tights and jacket.

This isn't suitable in the slightest for an apple shape with a round tummy like me unless you throw a cardigan, jumper, shirt or blouse on top of that. It's the stuff I used to wear when I was a beanpole 15 year old

@BetsyBobbin I think you may have missed a memo - all the tedious covering up of larger bodies has been entirely overtaken by body positivity. The type of black dress @Fellran referred to is best exemplified by:

Skims

And they make larger sized women look like goddesses. No floaty shirts or ‘nice jackets’ needed to disguise the body underneath.

TU do v neck t shirts. I have several and it's the only shape that works for me too

This is great!

your favourite jeans + boots. A close fitting tank or v neck tee with a more oversized + long sleeved denim or cotton shirt over the top. As many buttons done up as makes you feel comfortable. unfuckupable regardless of size…

As long as your clothes are clean + well fitting then accessories are everything!

This isn't suitable in the slightest for an apple shape with a round tummy like me unless you throw a cardigan, jumper, shirt or blouse on top of that. It's the stuff I used to wear when I was a beanpole 15 year old

"@BetsyBobbin I think you may have missed a memo - all the tedious covering up of larger bodies has been entirely overtaken by body positivity. The type of black dress @Fellran referred to is best exemplified by:

Skims

And they make larger sized women look like goddesses. No floaty shirts or ‘nice jackets’ needed to disguise the body underneath."

@IWantedThereThereButItsGone Think you might not be an overweight 40 something?

I love kimonos - saves me from wearing another slightly dull cardigan! Thanks for sharing

@ChocolateGanache - I posted because I know that sort of dress makes plus size women of every age look magnificent.

It is a different way of dressing to that usually advised for larger sizes - so perhaps one has to be prepared to try something new?

I thought that dress was a good for trying something different. If someone is a size 18 they are going to look size 18 in whatever they wear, it doesn’t mean they can’t try different styles.
Some of my favourite outfits have come from trying something a bit crazy for me on.

I suspect if you are overweight and pear-shaped it could look really good.

it would be horrific on me as a large stomach large boobed size 14-16 apple shape!

Layer up,it's cold outside but will be warm inside. A long line cardigan or jumper that you can tie around your waist when indoors. I wouldn't recommend a leather jacket as heavy to carry - unless planning on using a cloakroom, which nobody tends to do these days at gigs.

I like the love and roses blouses with either black jeans and jeans or a black mini skirt and boots - either chunky or a sock boot.

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls154520/b40837

https://www.next.co.uk/style/ls418752/b81804

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su499573/al2737

@beachcitygirl I’ve got this dress and I’ve put on weight so now 12-14 with more of a bust. I haven’t worn it out yet and I sized up for bust size but it could be cinched in with a belt too.

It's lovely that body positivity has made younger women more confident showing their bodies. Unfortunately us actual overweight 40-somethings grew up in the 90s, where Kate Moss had the only acceptable body type and no-one even had a bum until J-Lo came along in the early 2000s. I was called fat when I was a size 12 (90s size 12).

I don't personally want everyone to see my back fat or c-section overhang. I know how to dress to suit my shape, it's just finding the right shape clothes that's the battle. Skims suit women who are voluptuous and outgoing, not your average size 20, 43 year old mum who's knackered from working full time with young children and aging parents, doesn't go out at night much, and just wants to look nice without thinking too much about it.

Fair enuff! I disagree with you, but you’ve articulated your thoughts so beautifully …

Whatever they want, is the obvious answer. Wear whatever makes you comfortable/feel great/sexy/glamorous - whatever it is you'd like to feel. Something that fits you well that you feel good in, and then just enjoy!

Hey, we can also adopt that mindset too. We have to fight the toxic trash we were fed in our youth. It's a matter of freeing yourself from the fetters.
An actual overweight 50-something.

It's quite ironic that there is a post saying 'you missed the memo', just two posts after 'you are too old for a band T shirt at 40'.

But the point of my post was that you are never too old to adopt a new way of dressing …

I go to a lot of grass roots gigs (I'm 50) I generally wear black jeans and an All Saints top (v neck usually).

I had a blue oversized All Saints top that I think I ebayed simply because I wasn’t wearing it enough. The black jeans and a top/tshirt is usually a good shout for gigs though.

I would wear a Lucy and Yak Ragan with a roll neck underneath, and Dr Martens. And statement earrings. But lots of good options from L&Y.

https://lucyandyak.com/collections/new-in/products/aubrey-gilet-recycled-bottles-cream-brown

No, I didn't miss any memo. I would never wear that kind of dress, what other people wear is their problem.

(Interestingly enough, any model on the link you posted is overweight, they're all size 10 🫠)