"Menopausal blonde" hair - why do women do it?

[ISeriouslyDoubtIt]

Just been to lunch with a group of friends aged late fifties to early sixties whom I've known for decades. Of course we're all looking older, but none of us are the type of people who have Botox/fillers/tweakments, but we all wear some make up and at various times most have dyed their hair.
I'm a natural redhead but started to go grey in my thirties and then dyed my hair for 25 years till COVID when I grew it out and stayed white/grey, it looks fine and better than dyed red hair with an older face.
Several of the group have dark hair, brown eyes and olivey skin. All of them, as they got into their fifties, started dyeing their hair a yellowy blonde. Without fail it looks awful, it just doesn't suit their skin tones at all. They would look better if they just let the grey come through, or have it dyed a lighter brown.
I see so many women of a certain age with this generic blonde, on people that aren't naturally blonde it invariably looks wrong, why do they do it?

Yeah ‘menopausal blonde’ drips with misogyny doesn’t it? I too have seen loads of older women who’ve gone blonde of one shade or another and most of them look amazing.

My hair's mostly stayed dark brown, which I'm grateful for. But a friend who was mid to dark brown has gone completely blonde - took me a while to get used to her new look but now I don't think twice about it, it's just her.

I've noticed John Frieda is doing a new product for grey hair which I think makes it more silvery, & that sounds nice. Has anyone here tried it? I'm keeping it in reserve in case I go grey overnight.😁

https://www.johnfrieda.com/en-uk/products/shimmering-silver-grey-hair-products/shimmering-silver-shampoo-for-grey-hair/

They might be wondering why you stay grey. Anyone who keeps grey hair ages about 20 years instantly.

You've got used to your own grey hair so you're starting to notice how fake dyed hair looks. However, just like people who have cosmetic surgery or 'tweakments' or wear makeup they are in control of how they look and they have chosen to dye their hair blond and that is their perogative.

I'll go grey at 80, if I make it that far.

I’m blond and my hair has darkened as I have aged!

Loads of people dye their hair colours that don’t suit them. The trend for unnatural colors ( pinks, green, purple etc) has really shown this. Very rarely do I see someone who has picked a colour or shade that suits their skin colour and tone. They mostly look pretty awful. When you see someone who has picked a dye or suits them it does look fabulous though.

It's out of a box for under a tenner, rather than over a hundred quid at the hairdressers?

Most supermarkets only do a couple of shades of blonde box dye - one is always Golden Blonde, the other is usually Ash Blonde. Both look pretty much identical despite the names and if you all live in a general area, you're all probably going o the same supermarket that has the same two blondes on sale.

Plus, from experience, if you've actually got pure white coming through, everything darker looks crap, but the white seems to act as shorthand for 'patronise the doddery old dear' where blonde, crappy though it may look in your opinion, doesn't result in the same response at work or in public.

I’m menopausal and mine is bright pink. Is that ok?

Me too. I'm 55.

I lost all my hair when I had chemo for breast cancer in 20021-22. It grew back a horrible dark grey colour.

I couldn't wait for my hair to grow AND get it coloured.

Now 2 years later I'm back to my blonde hair, and I don't get care what anyone thinks.

Fab!

Perhaps your friends with the unflattering colours do the home dye kits, instead of getting the colour done at the hairdressers.

I waited patiently for my mousey hair to go grey. Then impatiently. Then, at 58, said fuck it and went platinum blondie pixie. And that is the way it will stay until either I or my hairdresser die.

Blonde looks really good on older women. Blonde covers a huge range of shades. It’s about picking the right blonde for your skin, the right tone and good highlights/lowlights.

Oh bugger off Judge Judy

Tempted to dye mine blonde again

If you've got a good hairdresser, the worry that they may fall under a bus is always with you, I find.

What you are saying doesn’t make sense. On one hand you say they are too ‘olive’ for blonde hair, and they should go grey naturally, but grey/white can be lighter than blonde!!

Do you even like these people?!!

I've been dying my hair Ash blond since I went grey in my 40's. I'm 62 now. I had to stop dying it as my hair started falling out in chunks. It's grown back now I've stopped dying it. It's waistlength and I have 6 inches of blond left so I'll get it chopped off soon but I hate my hair. Its mouse and white. I have to do something with it.

I’m a red head and my grey hairs just blend in and look more like highlights at this stage. My mum is also a red head and I never noticed her going grey her hair kind of just slowly faded to a lovely platinum colour so I hope mine will do the same. On that basis it’s a bit easier to manage the transition to grey so wouldn’t judge others on how they approach their grey hair.

As long as they are rocking a menopausal give no fucks attitude then it’s all good as far as I’m concerned.

and better than dyed red hair with an older face.

That’s why so many women go blonde! If your natural hair colour was a strong red or a dark brown and you try to recreate that with dye it looks really harsh against older skin. If you go for a warm blonde or a cool dark blonde it’s much more flattering.

I'm a natural redhead but started to go grey in my thirties and then dyed my hair for 25 years till COVID when I grew it out and stayed white/grey, it looks fine and better than dyed red hair with an older face.

I see so many women of a certain age with this generic blonde, on people that aren't naturally blonde it invariably looks wrong, why do they do it?

Maybe they think (like you did for 25 years) that it looks fine and they are happy with it. Maybe before you grew yours out, people were wondering why you were dying your hair? "Looks wrong" is subjective.

I am naturally dark. I dyed dark for years, but for the last 8 or so have been having high and low lights to let the grey grow in. I'm not ready to be entirely grey (I'm 53). It's still quite dark underneath and then choppy fair/light brown/grey. Dunno, it's clearly not natural.

most of the time it's tied back or wet as I do loads of sport

No way would I look 73 if I let my hair go entirely grey.

The judgement in your OP @ISeriouslyDoubtIt is just cringe.

Do all you friends know how awful you think they all look? Because I'm sure they think you look like an old lady. I'm as grey as a badger under my luscious golden locks and there is no way in hell I'd be growing it out.

Exactly this, plus darker colours look so much harsher against skin tone as you age.

Myself and my sister convinced my mum to switch from dark brown to an ash blonde a couple of years ago and she looks so much better and younger. The dark was OK but she had a silver line down the middle of her head in about a week, it wasn't worth it.