"Menopausal blonde" hair - why do women do it?

[ISeriouslyDoubtIt]

Just been to lunch with a group of friends aged late fifties to early sixties whom I've known for decades. Of course we're all looking older, but none of us are the type of people who have Botox/fillers/tweakments, but we all wear some make up and at various times most have dyed their hair.
I'm a natural redhead but started to go grey in my thirties and then dyed my hair for 25 years till COVID when I grew it out and stayed white/grey, it looks fine and better than dyed red hair with an older face.
Several of the group have dark hair, brown eyes and olivey skin. All of them, as they got into their fifties, started dyeing their hair a yellowy blonde. Without fail it looks awful, it just doesn't suit their skin tones at all. They would look better if they just let the grey come through, or have it dyed a lighter brown.
I see so many women of a certain age with this generic blonde, on people that aren't naturally blonde it invariably looks wrong, why do they do it?

the ultimate insult 😂

I'm now wondering if there are other things I shouldn't be doing with my hair and make-up now that my ovaries are giving up the ghost and my oestrogen levels are falling? I do still occasionally get periods at 55, so does that mean I'm exempt?

I was thinking about this last night, last weekend I was with two friends, both now blonde, but were both brunettes in their younger years, they only went blonde when the greys got too much.

friend one, her hair is almost platinum, it’s a very pale blonde, and done by the hairdresser, she suits it.

friend two, she is very sallow skinned, with Indian heritage, she went blonde at the beginning of the year, a cool ash blonde done by the hair dresser, to be honest it was ok. In my opinion she didn’t suit it as much as the rich brown we were used to. But she could defo get away with it.

she has however taken to using a box dye, both for time and money reasons, and I suspect doesn’t know how to deal with blonde hair, ie no purple shampoos or cool ash tones, her hair is now golden or brass coloured, and the more she dyes it herself, the yellower it gets. It doesn’t suit her skin tone now at all, and I think that’s what the op is refering to. That yellow brassy look.

i don’t think going blonde is easy , it’s certainly not as simple as chucking a cheap box dye on it every few weeks. The tone of blonde is really important to make it work.

Late to this thread so haven't read all responses.

I went through the menopause in my mid 40s and kept dying my greys dark brown (natural colour) for quite a while after that but it went grey on top early so that meant a lot of touching up / re-dying. One day my hairdresser suggested blonde highlights would make life easier, so I tried that and liked it, though I still sometimes catch myself in a mirror and wish I could be dark brown again - but now my skin is ageing, I don't think it would look right.

I can't let the greys grow out, even if I wanted to, as I still have a lot of dark brown sections as well as greys on top! Instead the varying shades help disguise that. I have the highlights redone about 2 to 3 times a year and use an overall blond colour, recommended by my hairdresser, in between to cover the greys and blend it all in. The blonds fade to lighter over time, which I don't like but I also don't like spending hours at the hairdressers.

So for me it's the best solution. I worry more about how my hair has thinned out in recent years, than the colour of it.

PS my hair has never had a blond box dye on it. I touch my hair up between salon sessions with a semi permanent in a colour that is mid range between the more golden highlights and darker ones (lowlights, I suppose) which are mid brown. And when it used to get 'brassy', I asked my hairdresser to alter the colour balance to avoid this. There are tons of different shades available to a professional stylist.

I quite fancy dying my hair a yellow brassy blonde now just to fuck everyone off.

Reading this thread, it strikes me that one of the reasons why grey hair is 'ageing' is because we're not used to seeing it on younger people. But adults of all ages have varying degrees of greyness - we just cover it up.
I'm late 30s and almost entirely grey, I have been dying it since I was a teenager but now growing it out. Multiple women in their 30s and 40s on this thread have said the same thing, decades of hair dye. The whole thing about "letting yourself go" if you don't cover it up.
That's why "menopausal blonde" is a thing. There's probably a feminist issue here too, because I'm not sure that men are held to the same standards.

We are used to seeing grey hair on younger people. For many years it has been a thing.

Yes, but not as their natural colour. The dark roots are a giveaway, as are the pastel tones.
What I'm saying is that there are more people than you might think below pension age with naturally very grey hair, it's just that we hide it.

Are you famous or something, Why would you think everyone be fucked off if you personally dyed your hair?

Can you recommend a root spray please? My highlights (I guess they’re a copper sort of tone) are a couple of months old now and I have dark roots which I hate. Thanks!

I was a natural brunette and loved it. But at 57 I would look like a reverse skunk if I grew out the grey. Strangely there’s hardly any grey at the back and I’m not prepared to have my just below shoulder length hair chopped off. Early last year I did use one of my usual brunette semi permanent dyes, I looked awful, nothing like I used to.

I have a relative the same age as myself and she swears she hasn’t gone grey yet, her hair is very dark brown, so not her natural colour, it looks bloody awful and doesn’t suit her.

I now have Ash blonde highlights to camouflage the grey. If I was completely grey I wouldn’t bother so much. I look at old photos when I was brunette and really miss it. When I catch a glimpse of myself when I’m out I have to remember that’s the new me. It’s nothing to do with being menopausal, it’s just getting older that’s all, 🤷‍♀️

Over the last 10 or so years I've gradually been going lighter, as on me the darker hair was beginning to look too harsh and making me look older
I'm currently a warm light brown with golden highlights. In need of redoing, it's been ages, when I have a cut all the darker bits will have gone. When I've had a cut I'll make a decision on what would be best

My natural hair colour is mouse but now I'm going silver (not grey) it's changing to a strawberry blonde.

No. Fair point.

I use this one now, it doesn’t last past one wash, but you use a tiny amount when your hair is wet, I rub it in with my finger and it stays brown till I next wash it.

Josh woods root spray

i also used to use the L’Oréal one , which is also effective, but you don’t get much out a tin, so worked out more expensive, and it left my hair dry.

www.amazon.co.uk/LOreal-Paris-Concealer-Touching-Regrowth/dp/B019W17SXO/ref=sr_1_24?crid=M44GT635Z9PG&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.4gWnaVHfk9gn5zbzsAuJ_p4MpBduqe4n300Cx_0sDVuUGzQ-QQBvVYb5klOCWCWrp_k4f8WMGnhbhIQP8ChbZK0edKmDAzH8cB_bxwQc65j2hQzMLTOaU9yb29IHjwD3BcNHBYPlLO2987t30jMRfJAA_PanrbqwBtmhl1sejBYoLb8lA4F41fE6506wohuW6O1B6fkoMJqWRI9YG_ytSUq9hIT3IVbEgD_lLuFmxwqsb1AhJ52Pp2zex-ppIqOmKLZ5TpeS99xULU8E7TXdu5sj-yTmTDAteWIB1qH_sqI.IKoKOOYsUo4smfPibwJIH-I7Wx2-ZkYWFku2YZ93Os0&dib_tag=se&keywords=josh+wood+root+touch+up&qid=1724326725&sprefix=Josh+woods+r%2Caps%2C117&sr=8-24

I used to have dark blonde hair as a teenager, then took to dying it vary dark red for years, finally (and with some difficulty) gone back to a lighter blonde because the grey blends so much better with it and I got sick of having to re dye it every couple of weeks, that's probably why many women do it, dark hair shows the grey more.

So for me it's the best solution. I worry more about how my hair has thinned out in recent years, than the colour of it.
Me too. I dye my hair blond because it hides the thinning on my scalp a bit. I'm in my fifties and don't have any greys yet but I'd much rather have thick silver hair that can look fab than thinning natural hair!

This is my view too, I think hairdressers sell this as an easy win, go blonde, you can’t see the grey as much, but blonde is very difficult to manage, unless you suit the warm yellow golden /brassy colour, keeping it cool toned is a lot of time effort and money, and most folks suit the cool toned if they were originally brunette, very few suit the yellow type look.

i think that’s what the op is saying, it’s not a flattering shade of blonde for many women,and other colours be it light brown or grey maybe more flattering if you don’t want to spend your time keeping it the right shade of blonde for your skin tone.

i get people are saying they don’t give a shit, but if you care enough to want to hide your greys, as many of us do, then getting the right shade is as important as not dying it solid dark brown or going grey,

I wondered that too. Let's hope it's a balding man eh 😁

To be honest I just pick up whichever one is on the shelves. There's a blue can from loreal which is OK and b and m do a decent one. But I just use whatever is available in my colour in whichever shop I happen to be in. They definitely do different shades of brown, I don't know about copper as I've never really paid much attention to the other colours!

🤣🤣🤣

I naturally have very dark brown hair, with tints of red in it. I used to stick to using dark brown hair dye but the roots came through within days. So with the help of the hairdresser it is now a very light blond. It does actually look nice, not sure about the black eyebrows though. It does make life easier though when the roots come through it is not as obvious.

But even though I was very dark it now DOES suit my skin tone

Anyone else noticed loss of melanin as they've aged?

Not sure it’s loss of melanin in my case (I’m super pale), but I have noticed now in my late 30s that my natural hair colour looks much harsher next to my skin than it used to. I have pale skin, dark brown hair and blue eyes. 10 years ago, I used to always dye it darker as it looked more striking and made my features pop. Now my skin looks slightly faded somehow and if I did the same now I would look washed out and overpowered by the harsh contrast. Blonde (providing there is no warmth) seems to suit me much better now!