"Menopausal blonde" hair - why do women do it?

[ISeriouslyDoubtIt]

Just been to lunch with a group of friends aged late fifties to early sixties whom I've known for decades. Of course we're all looking older, but none of us are the type of people who have Botox/fillers/tweakments, but we all wear some make up and at various times most have dyed their hair.
I'm a natural redhead but started to go grey in my thirties and then dyed my hair for 25 years till COVID when I grew it out and stayed white/grey, it looks fine and better than dyed red hair with an older face.
Several of the group have dark hair, brown eyes and olivey skin. All of them, as they got into their fifties, started dyeing their hair a yellowy blonde. Without fail it looks awful, it just doesn't suit their skin tones at all. They would look better if they just let the grey come through, or have it dyed a lighter brown.
I see so many women of a certain age with this generic blonde, on people that aren't naturally blonde it invariably looks wrong, why do they do it?

Are you trying to imply ageism in the workplace doesn't exist? Oh deary me.

55 and grey as hell
gave up in lockdown. Most of my friends still dye dark but it’s personal choice innit

i have blue eyes and had dark brown hair but the grey suits my colouring now. Lucky I guess

Blondes have more fun! You might think they look awful but once you're blonde there's no going back. It lifts your mood to look in the mirror, unlike ugly gray hair (not nice to say that is it? No. So don't criticise other women's hairdos).

We don't actually talk about that stuff, surprising as it may seem.
I asked on here because I was curious why these women would do it, because I would never ask them.
I don't have a fear of ageing actually. I'm happy to be the age I am, and actually happier to be 60 than 50 as I'm now free of all the menopausal symptoms which affected my life for years. If I was afraid of ageing one would imagine I'd be continuing to dye my hair and using all sorts of anti ageing treatments, which I don't.
Of course people can do what they want regarding their looks. Doesn't stop other people inwardly having an opinion on it though.

Better that than the boring ‘funky grey hair and chunky jewellery’ look that many menopausal women go for.

Disclaimer- I don’t actually think that, I’m just very tired (as a 50-something menopausal woman) of the endless judgement of other women’s choices.

OP- I actually started a similar post last year when all my mid 40's friends went from brunette to blonde to 'hide the grey'. Its doesn't hide it at all! The contrast is less, but its still very obvious it all grey with blonde ends!
I say this as a brunette who still uses a box dye religiously. Not jet black, but as close to me natural colour and suiting my colouring. Trying to bleach it blonde would surely make it brittle, and cost a huge amount more.

Yeah ‘menopausal blonde’ drips with misogyny doesn’t it?

There’s a male equivalent though - manopausal chestnut. Just for Men applied heavily with no consideration for the fact that they now have much more grey and therefore the dye takes differently. Hence what was a fairly subtle chestnut brown at one time has gradually become a bizarre burnt orange with hints of purple. See Paul McCartney in the Heather Mills era; Phillip Schofield circa 2005; Martin Kemp post-EastEnders; Tom Jones in the early years of The Voice…

Of course I'm not saying that!
But whether an older woman dyes her hair or not is not going to affect that existing, given her face and body are older too. Unless you work in a role where appearance is extremely important of course.
For what it's worth the particular women I'm talking about have been retired for several years.

Yes, they all looked awful. But in general the majority of middle aged men don't dye their hair, as compared to the majority of middle aged women who do.

Several of the group have dark hair, brown eyes and olivey skin. All of them, as they got into their fifties, started dyeing their hair a yellowy blonde

You inadvertently answered your own question, OP. They do it because they have dark hair - to avoid getting the stark root re growth of grey against hair dyed dark to match their natural hair colour. Even my hairdresser did this. She has dark chestnut hair and when I went in one day, she’d gone blonde. I thought it was just a new look but she explained the grey roots were far less of a pain appearing against blonde hair. Mind you, she’d done hers beautifully with different shades throughout, giving a natural look and not at all flat or harsh.

My hair is naturally dark and I have greys, but I’ve continued with my natural dark hair colour, which I think suits me. It does, however mean I do the roots every 3 weeks or so.

Career related - being mid 40s above and not being judged negatively in the workplace, interviewing = even worse. I’m not talking about a bit of social media or friends, I don’t feel like my friends judge me negatively, although reading what you’ve said about yours, maybe I’m wrong 😊

I dye my grey hair blonde because I don't want to have grey hair, no more than I want black hair or brown hair or red hair. It's as simple as that. Grey hair doesn't suit me, nor does black, brown or red. Blonde hair does.

I have dark brown hair, dark eyes, olive skin, and can never go blonde, because I am Asian and would look foolish. It's an absolute PITA to keep dyeing. I tried to go grey in the pandemic, but I just couldn't get it to grow out evenly, and the salt and pepper look looks awful on me. I love all grey hair though.

I assume all your friends are tired of dyeing, and want something easy and low maintenance.

It’s a shame Michael Hutchence isn’t still around, he could write us a middle-aged update to Suicide Blonde.

They are in their late 60s?

I tend to agree with you, OP - I see lots of women with hair dyed the wrong shade/tone. And to have really good dyed blonde hair costs £££. But it depends on your hair type - mine is going grey in silvery clumps but from a distance looks like blonde streaks and is quite nice, whereas my sister with a sprinkling of grey looked badger like and the hair all stuck up as it’s curly, so it looked much better dyed. Horses for courses.

My DM, who’s nearly 80 finally stopped dyeing at about 70 and looks so much better with her natural white colour (she uses a purple shampoo). I actually think it gives a youthful effect on older women. My MIL who has excellent quality hair at 81 - thick, wavy and plenty of it - has it dyed a very light and flat blonde which would look so much better if it was white!

Women with dark hair need to go lighter to cover the grey.

I was dark and now blonde. I will go grey one day but not yet because it is so ageing. A colleague who is five years younger than me (and grey) couldn't believe I am older than her. She looks old for her age.

There is a (unfair and unfortunate) perception that grey = old and (again incredibly unfairly as I prefer it) ‘letting yourself go.’ I 100% think more of us should do it, I think it looks fabulous, but that doesn’t remove the fact that it makes it harder for me to progress within my career and / or get new jobs. It also takes loads of time and costs a lot of money.

I'm fifties menopausal and my hair is actually naturally very light blonde still and the white strands are just making it lighter Don't assume everyone is dying it. Even my hairdresser has taken a year to convince that my blonde is still natural

No, all of us in that group retired before 60. The women in that group are all late fifties to early sixties.

Because I don't give a fuck what others think. That's the huge bonus of getting older.

Your hair sounds lovely and like it suits you. It sounds like you're a natural blonde but the women I'm talking about were dark haired, dark eyed with olive skin, and their hair is definitely dyed a yellow blonde.

Absolutely agree. That's why I know they wouldn't give a toss about what I thought about their hair or vice versa.

I have opposite problem. I am in my fifties, naturally dark hair with only a few silver ones- less than a dozen. I have never dyed my hair and yet I kept getting asked “did you dye your hair? It looks darker” (it gets darker in winter). Or “you have lovely hair, where do you go?”

I really really want a glorious mane of white & silver hair.

I feel it would make me have more gravitas.

My face is definitely in keeping with my age- had no Botox and no work done. I don’t even use anti-ageing skin products. I can only moisturise with 100% aloe Vera gel due to sensitive allergy prone skin.

I have dark hair and olive skin. White loading. No point in dying black as it’ll be all over and darker than my natural colour. Hairdresser keeps suggesting lighter highlights to soften the black white contrast, which I assume is how your friends reached blonde all over.

When I go white I’m going shocking pink.

I think be kind to them, suggest new ideas.