"Menopausal blonde" hair - why do women do it?

[ISeriouslyDoubtIt]

Just been to lunch with a group of friends aged late fifties to early sixties whom I've known for decades. Of course we're all looking older, but none of us are the type of people who have Botox/fillers/tweakments, but we all wear some make up and at various times most have dyed their hair.
I'm a natural redhead but started to go grey in my thirties and then dyed my hair for 25 years till COVID when I grew it out and stayed white/grey, it looks fine and better than dyed red hair with an older face.
Several of the group have dark hair, brown eyes and olivey skin. All of them, as they got into their fifties, started dyeing their hair a yellowy blonde. Without fail it looks awful, it just doesn't suit their skin tones at all. They would look better if they just let the grey come through, or have it dyed a lighter brown.
I see so many women of a certain age with this generic blonde, on people that aren't naturally blonde it invariably looks wrong, why do they do it?

Don't be gutted, it's just the OP's opinion that it looks shit. I'll bet the blonde hair on these 'menopausal women' looks fine, and the OP is just being disparaging because she's jealous of them.

What a rude and unpleasant tone this thread has @ISeriouslyDoubtIt Shame on you for starting it!

'Menopausal blonde indeed!' Ageist, and misogynistic! 😠

Speaking as someone who used to be a make up artist, many women don't understand colour; warm colours, cold colours, neutral colours, and how or whether it suits them or not. This lack of awareness extends their choices of hair dye. Personally I find this baffling, but that's me. Another look for older women around where I live is an unflattering grey short back and sides. There's an element of 'I am no longer interested in being a woman' air about them. That's their choice. I find this look baffling as well But if your group of friends don't discuss weight, clothes, beauty, ageing etc, how did you find Style and Beauty ? And if you're interested in Style and Beauty (as I am) hair is an important element for older women; the colour, the length, the texture, the styling. Personally I still give flying fucks about it and will continue to do so

I need a picture for visual reference as this will be me in a few short years (the menopausal bit).

Another grey evangelism thread.

They don't have to stop dyeing their hair just because you have.

Bit of a reach to say I'm jealous of how they look. I like how I look, always have done, and that hasn't changed as I've aged.
If you read my other posts I've explained that using the term " menopausal blonde" is shorthand for that yellowish blonde box dye colour that so many middle aged women use, fortunately some posters know exactly what I mean.
I also explained that it isn't misogynistic to point this out, given that it's something that women do and men don't, in general( apart from Donald Trump).

Read my comments, I've never once said they should. I'm no grey evangelist, people can dye or not as they choose, I dyed my hair for 25 years, if covid lockdowns hadn't happened maybe I still would, but I wouldn't have dyed it that generic box blonde that so many women do.

I think the issue isn't that the OP's friends have decided to go blonde, but that they presumably do it themselves, so the colour isn't the best one for them. If they had it done professionally, a hairdresser would be able to use the right tones to give them a blonde that suited their skin and eyes, but It sounds like these are not women who would spend hundreds of pounds a year at the hairdressers.
Presumably as they all retired early, cost isn't an issue, but they are not people who consider spending a lot on hair and beauty a priority, and are happy enough with their DIY efforts, even if it's not perfect.

I don't know why you wouldn't say it to your friends if they're such good friends? Honestly. I spend a fortune on my blonde hair because I wouldn't dream of doing it myself. Surely if these women are good friends then you should say it to them if you find it offensive? You've said they have all enjoyed good careers and have been able to retire early so if it doesn't suit them to the extent that you need to start a thread on it then you should say it to them (kindly)?

Please find a photo of the genetic box blonde you refer to for a visual reference. It might help.

Surprised anyone has to ask this. Box dye blonde is really really common, it’s a sort of yellow brassy colour.

why are folks so butt hurt by this. Women hitting their 50s/60s and going blonde is hugely common, and clearly a lot do it themselves, and not all hairdressers are any good.

Many "menopausal women" have better things in life to spend £300, so they just decide to buy £6 hair dye and are good to go.

Is it pinterest ready? No.
Is being pinterest ready a reasonable life goal? Shit no.

Precisely. At least someone can understand what I meant without having a go at me!

Your post drips misogyny and ageism 😡

Thank you for understanding what I meant.

I wouldn't dream of asking them! However such a question was worded they would know I didn't like it, after decades you can tell when someone isn't being genuine. Also it would be really weird if I suddenly started asking them how and why they did their hair, because it's not a subject we ever talk about.

Sure but if it doesn’t suit them? I’m with the op. If you were naturally dark it is very easy to get the wrong shade.

goimg caramel or different shades, works well. Like these. Multi tonal. All over is dye blonde can be very harsh and the greys very obvious.

I asked on here because I was curious why these women would do it, because I would never ask them.

If your eyes get any wider, you'll split your face open 🙄

Here's a thought, do you think...and hear me out here...there might be a teeny tiny chance they would do it because they like it?

Or is that far too 'out there' to wrap your brain around?

No it doesn’t. We all know exactly what she’s talking about. Let’s not pretend otherwise.

I'm 32 and the greys are already insane! Black hair doesn't help as it's so obvious. I have to dye mine once a month

Not your business OP and nobody needs your judgement of how their hair looks.

Any woman who wants to be blonde should though - in my opinion - have it done by a good hairdresser who will blonde to match skin tone.

Grey hair looks better on men than on women - unless you're Tyne Daly or Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm neither so I spend the money for a very competent hairdresser who makes my hair look unremarkable but good.

Well if you want to cover gray hair and need to dye hair you may as well experiment with colour.
If someone does not think it suits you so what?
I can absolutelly see reason why someone who spent adult life with natural dark hair wants to try blonde!

I'm 53 and used to be darkest brown (almost black) naturally. My roots started coming in white. It was horrible. My best mate from school embraced the grey years ago and is happy with that. I don't pass comment, other than to say it looks good on her, but it's not for me.

This is mine. I'm also disabled and having my hair done is the one thing that makes me feel bloody good about myself. It's also less noticeable when the grey / white comes through as the main colour is now 3 shades lighter and the caramel suits my olive complexion more than my natural colour ever did.

Those colours are not cheap - so rather than being concerned about what other women think suits them it sounds like they’ve decided they better things to do with their time and money. Good on them.

Of course people can do what they want regarding their looks. Doesn't stop other people inwardly having an opinion on it though.

This is what you said, OP. What do you not understand about 'inwardly'? Does every little thought that passes your synapse need to be verbalised?

I'm sure you're cognisant enough to understand that women are under pressures that men are not with regard to growing old. Women do not need extra judgement - and certainly not from other women.

Imagine a world where women just accepted other women for the way they look without passing any comment at all. That would be Nirvana.

That’s lovely, you’ve gorgeous hair.