Fat girl summer - let's slay 💅

[Lwrenn]

So, for those of us who are chunky yet funky, what's the plan ladies?

Shall we give no fucks and wear nice comfy summery clothes or do we worry about keeping every inch of us covered head to toe in black until we sweat so hard we melt? What's the plan?

Currently a size 20/22 myself, unlikely to get down to a magical size 14 by July so I'm looking at the nice comfy looking linen pants, few maxi dresses, shorts because I'm a wee chubby pale rebel and to really go wild a jumpsuit or two.

Simply be has some lovely things at the moment including shoes, asos curve is looking alright and vinted is my best pal.

I'm 35 for a few more months and don't want to have another summer in my 30s hating my body, so this year I'm going to embrace it. Anyone with me?

Yes!!!! Woohoooo!

I'm a size down from last year, and as I'm clearing my clothes for moving, I've found a lot of vintage clothing that I'm now back into. Now wearing a dress from Next in black with white dots getting bigger as they go down the dress, with a ruched waist and slightly puffed sleeves.

I've also enjoyed putting my clothes from when I was fatter in the bulk charity collection.

What are you going to be wearing hen? Anything nice in baskets you're dying to commit to?

I'd love to wear vintagey/quirky clothes but I'm a bit of a scaredy cat, maybe next year I'll take the bravery leap!

Congratulations on your weight loss, it's really hard to stick to, you must be so proud!

I've yo yo'd up and down in size over the years. When you're nervous about your appearance it's hard to throw away caution and wear what you like, rather than what you think is least offensive for some reason!

But - i'm going to be honest and just say that nothing draws the eye to a person's size more than clothes they've put on to 'hide' under.

The hard truth is that clothes can flatter to some degree, yes, but they won't disguise your dress size.

The good news to take is this means you might as well be free and wear what you fancy!! Women confidently wearing clothes they love always look beautiful and so much better than sculking about in the ubiquitous black leggings and 'hide it all' tunic.

There i said it!

A couple of summers ago (that hot one) i finally tried out shorts. Once i was over the shock of seeing myself in them i even started going out in them! At first it was strictly demin cut off style. Then softer cotton flappy ones.

No one keeled over in the street and i was nice and cool and my legs got a natural tan for the first time in years 😂

sorry for the essay!

Im keeping this screen shot to remind me to knock off my hidey chub clothes this summer, thank you! 😊 💐

I’m just fed up. My ex only comes to see his son if I’m nice to him. Even when he visits I may be at work as I try to get him to come and be around when I’m not and spend time with his son, eventually he will come and visit and stay until I get back, most of the time he expects me to cope and find other alternatives like my first ex and my two
older children to do his job. But on my arrival home he expects me to be happy to see him and not shattered, not pre occupied with the fact I’ve just got home 9pm or the after, after leaving home 8am in the morning. I do minimal conversation as I don’t see why I have to small talk to please him. He gets angry says I’m rude and disappears for another couple of months. He is always working or busy and looks for any excuse not to come and see his boy anyway, never shares the care. His visit is always one offs and on top of it expects me to be nice to him. I’m not horrible I just don’t engage with him, he tries to control and take over the way I do everything even in 5 minutes of me arriving home trying to tell how I should be doing stuff, stacking stuff, running my home, changes things in my absence. I tell him this is my home and I only want him to support the current setup not change my life as this is how we function. He gets offended, it doesn’t matter how I say what I say, he gets offended for everything and uses it as an excuse to not come and see his son again for months. He has no where safe to take his child and he is overwhelmingly controlling which means he suffocates our son too and tries to brainwash him. There has been times when our child would not even play at play time at school because his dad told him he is not to run or sweat because he will get a cold. Anyway, I know deep down our son is better off without him but it just still infuriates me that he gets away with minimal input and also blames me on top of all the stress I’m already under trying to juggle everything and unpick mental damage he causes when he does come 🙄 it’s always being between a cold place and a rock. But I also refuse to eat humble pie because he turned up for one day and did his job when I do it every day. I refuse to be extra sweet just so I don’t upset him or leave him to change my life so he can feed his ego. I’m always willing to compromise but don’t for a man who doesn’t have time consistently or even call his child.

I have these shorts in blue and white, they are really useful as the waistband is shirred, no muffin top and really comfortable

icicleboutique.co.uk/collections/shorts/products/briony-shorts-7-colours

What is your ex partner coming to your house?

You need to start your own thread then you'll get more response.

I'm with you OP. Loving the wide leg linen trousers I've seen around.

I have no idea. I’m going on holiday in 4 weeks and I’m consider a tanki rather than binki for the first time.

Most of my summer (well school holidays) will be spent with young children in parks, museum and swimming pools.

Great thread, great attitude!

I am not only fat, I am also old. This helps with the no fucks thing. I also love fashion so will follow the thread with interest.

Latest purchase is this broderie trim 100% cotton dress from Sainsbury’s- they have some nice stuff on occasion, good sizing. I wore it with my Naguisa espradrilles from Plumo last year, which are divine.
Black dress

Espradrilles

@Nezi1979 - click on Start New Thread in this part of mumsnet -

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships

give it a title and copy and paste your post there. There's lots of good advice on that board

Wide leg linen trousers definitely, shorts is a no for me though. Looking forward to busting out my maxi skirts and kimono tops as well (not together in the same outfits though). I need to get some new shoes for summer for slightly smarter work events though, I always struggle a bit with those.

When it's warm a throw on a summery maxi dress and some trainers. Easy and simple!

Has anyone found a nice swimsuit in the crinkle fabric? I love it but wondering if it’s a bit emperors new clothes. I’ve tried on a few but they’ve been a weird cut or colour.

Thanks @LLwrenn for starting this thread! I definitely WANT to embrace the way I am, but end up buying and wearing the same denim cut-off shorts and tee- shirts in the same colours that I have worn for decades. Last summer I did venture into some very floaty dresses which were so cool in the hot weather so I might go that way again.

I am hoping for some style inspiration everyone

I have bought these from h and m, they are soft, cool, comfy and I think look really nice. I love the rust red ones with sandals and a black top
https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0971104027.html

Sorry to read this hen, funnily enough i have been here.
My eldest DCs dad was a mardy shit, he really didn't have an interest in parenting, just wanting my attention. He was much older than me also, so it wasn't something to do with immaturity. He's in his 50s now and pays our dc zero interest. His wife at first did have him paying more of an interest but I think she realised she was doing the bulk parenting when he was there and rightly so set boundaries on what her role was so now nobody bothers.

I wish I'd just not given my ex the energy to want him to be a good dad, he isn't, wasn't, won't ever be. I can't make him, his lovely wife can't make him. That's on him.

Put boundaries in, stop him coming to your house, he can take dc the swings and bring a flask and water bottle if he hasn't anywhere else to take dc. (My ex didn't ever bother, he just didn't show up unless I was playing hostess) and I wish I'd just let him bugger off and cracked on being solo to tell you the truth.

But yep, don't waste your headspace on someone who you can't make be a better parent.

Good luck x

You know what, I NEEDED this thread. I'm absolutely miserable, I'm the biggest I've ever been at a size 20/22 and I feel horrific. Like a fat ugly troll. I don't just feel big, I feel scaled up around normal size women! Luckily I have the most womdeful, big viking man who makes me feel normal 😂otherwise I'd never leave the house!!
So yes. Fuck it. I am NOT going to spend the summer hiding away. Thank you.

You are NOT horrific. I guarantee that. Please don’t speak to yourself like that my lovely. It won’t help. Every time you say it, you believe it a bit more. Be your gorgeous self - she’s still there!

Yes, my child has autism as well as this is the space set up for him. My ex has no where to see his son. It’s called co-parenting

Thanks @FeralNun - I really appreciated that. I've never struggled with confidence before even though I've always been bigger - I've always been really fit with it and this is the first time in my life really I've been so blobby! But I look at bigger people in the street and I don't notice bigness - I notice fab hair, or wicked shoes, or a really unusual sense of style. I don't think 'you great fat waller, you shouldn't even be out', so why do I assume people must be thinking that about me?! Its bloody strange! I have never, ever looked at ANYONE and thought they were ugly. People never are.