Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

Fuck them, if you like it, keep going. They are being rude!

I'm 50, have long hair (down to my bra strap) and have let my natural grey hair grow out and I love it! It's so lovely not having to keep dying it, and it's in the best condition it's been since I was a teenager. Keep going op, you're at the worst stage with a stripe but it'll come good after a while

I love the condition my hair is in too, so soft. Whether box/bespoke, dye is never going to have your hair in such good shape as it is naturally

@WeRateSquirrels When grey hair is a feature 99% of elderly people then of course it's a natural association.
It's not a bad thing, just a fact.
As I said, it's beautiful. Nothing wrong with looking older and beautiful.

Get your hairdresser to use a colour eraser to take out the dye in your hair :)

Nowt wrong with letting your hair grey, male or female.
but I think it's much more aesthetically pleasing if it's soft and fine. I personally am not keen on wiry, salt and pepper hair on anyone.
One thing to bear in mind if you want others to find you somewhat pleasing to look at or even attractive, you will have to be realistic that you generally have to make more of an effort with grey hair. If I'm rushing to do the school run on a drizzly day, I honestly look far better if my hair is dyed light brown when it's hurriedly scraped back - than when it's been greyer. (I'm still in two minds about my hair 🙂)

I grew mine out in lockdown (age 52 then and a bit like Andie McDowell’s) but it’s not quite grey enough to look cool. It’s only about 30% grey so it just looked faded. I use the Tresemme colour mask in dark brown a few times a week in the shower. It’s perfect because it blends the greys without erasing them completely,it conditions hair well so it looks nice and glossy, and it’s not permanent so there’s no regrowth. It colours the grey and brown differently so my hair looks multitonal, and very natural. Superdrug have a similar one which also works well. Once my hair is grey ‘enough’ I am looking forward to embracing it.

I would have to disagree with you. My hair is highlighted but is luscious and exceptionally soft and glossy - literally my crowning glory. Hairdressers always comment on the fabulous condition.

frostyfeet · Today 14:18

I love the condition my hair is in too, so soft. Whether box/bespoke, dye is never going to have your hair in such good shape as it is naturally

My box dyed hair is ridiculous silky, shiny and soft, it’s like touching velvet.

@Ohthiscantbeit My hairdresser said that wouldn’t work .All it would do is lighten my darker hairs but you’d still see the grey stripe.

I decided to embrace my grey hair in my mid 40s and I loved it. Thought I looked very sophisticated and confidently sexy. Loved the fact that I didn’t have to go to the hairdresser and got loads of compliments from both friends and men.
Then I got bored and went blond in my late 40s. Omg, I immediately looked sooooo much younger. I don’t even have to wear makeup anymore as the blond just suits my complexion. I get way more compliments now.

I definitely cant pull off blonde! Anyway it’s not the colour change that is the problem..it’s the fact that I hate dyeing my hair , the cost and time involved, the chemical usage etc etc. I know I will look older ..because I am getting older!!

OP no pain no gain and all that, in a few months or so you will have achieved your mission of all natural colour and no dye.

Could you dye all your hair grey ( shade same as or similar to root colour) and that would get you through the awkward growing out phase?

@BlueGrey1 My hairdresser said she’d need to bleach it first which I don’t want to do

Everyone looks different and thinks differently and there's no one size fits all here - this is why there are so many opinions on this thread. Why don't you persevere post the awkward stage and then see how you feel. Ignore the rude comments

Before lockdown my DM suggested to me I let my hair go grey as it wasn't taking to the expensive hair dye from hairdressers after the toner washed out. I said absolutely no way! I was too young for grey at 44! Then lockdown happened and I tried it. It's better then the dyed and once the dye grew out, I've only had compliments on it. I'm sure I don't look older, but I'm 48 and I'm happy to look 48.

I am pretty sure there is no such thing as natural grey hair. There is white hair. Which when blended against remaining original colour hair creates the optical effect of grey. The distribution of white, and the depth of the original colour, determine the effect. Could be white streaks where there are concentrations, or salt and pepper where it's distribution is more even against a dark base etc etc.

Which is why platinum white baby lights work so well as a device to bridge the transition.

Have we spoken about PPD? It's a nasty chemical causing dermatitis, allergies, includin anaphylactic shock (there have been fatalities), hair loss, and it is implicated in organ damage and DNA mutations in studies on other mammals. Problems occur so regularly you can easily find no win no fee offers from Solicitors.

It is bizzare that it is not better regulated. Of course it's MASSIVE business. Think about the size of the market. One of the reasons it isn't, is the directions from manufacturers not to apply to the scalp; so there is supposedly no contact with the skin. Not sure how many people achieve that at home with box dyes?

It is so sad that women die or are injured because taking their chances with dye feels a better option than social disapproval.

Two entirely separate issues here: allergy and harms of high-dose PPD.

PPD can cause allergy. That's why you should always have a patch test and should stop using dyes containing PPD if you have a mild reaction, because the reactions will get worse.

When any substance is used in a way that can cause harm through close contact - e.g. cosmetics, hair dye, food dyes - tests have to be done to establish what dose is dangerous. This involves giving higher and higher doses, until you work out at what dose harm occurs. The whole point is to carry on until you cause harm.

This does not mean that those substances are harmful at a normal dose. Thinking that it does is like of saying "OMG - I WOULD DIE IF I LIVED ENTIRELY ON JAFFA CAKES FOR A YEAR SO JAFFA CAKES MUST BE DEADLY".

So no bleach bath for you then

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow Well said. Instead of biased, hysterical scaremongering, a balanced discussion of the benefits and risks is necessary to enable informed decision making.

The poster is also attempting to belittle anyone that makes different choices to theirs. I have had various hair colours over the years - none of which were due to societal pressure or fear of facing societal disapproval. Such ridiculous nonsense being peddled.

Biased? Read some science.

I'm not belittling anyone. I am making the point that it's big business and women are getting hurt.

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/cod.14236

I'm a doctor - I make decisions based on a broad appraisal of all of the evidence, not cherry picking facts to suit the narrative.

My natural (grey) hair is like wire wool

My dyed hair is lovely!

You either live with the pain of growing out (frequent cuts or a restyle may help, depends on what it looks like now)

Or you keep getting lighter till the contrast is the least you can have and then grow out