Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

My grey hair gets a lot of love.

I don't think I look 73.

As a woman with the greys obviously looks 20 years older than her age.

My hair is bonkers, it was bonkers when it was dark. It's still bonkers now it's not.

It's my hair though. And I like it.

It DOES add a lot of years. It just does. It's an association with people in their 70s+
But
It DOES look beautiful.
These aren't mutually exclusive.

ERR does that mean you are 57??? you look about 37!
Also I love your hair 😍

Men tend to have to embrace the grey whether they want to or not though, as an older man who dyes his hair to cover grey can be seen as slightly ridiculous. At least women have choices

Her hair looks very nice but 37??

Come on.

Genuinely! I'm not saying it to blow smoke up anyone's ass but PuppyMonkey has a very youthful face. I'd have said she was a lot lot younger than me (47)

YOU associate it with people 70+. Doesn't mean that we all do.

@ConciseQueen
*This. Do what you want but …

It’s hard out here. Especially professionally. No way would I want to have grey hair until I was at Board level or otherwise very senior. I need to look competitive and dynamic (translation: younger than I am).

It isn’t fair but I am fighting enough fights*

This is exactly why my sister started having expensive hair treatments and colours when she first started going grey.

It's a very personal thing. I work with a couple of women, one in her 50's and one in her 60's, both with beautiful silver hair. They both decided to ditch the dye during lockdown. I, meanwhile, stocked up, and will be a brunette until the day I die. I don't want to embrace the grey, I have a Mediterranean complexion and I prefer having dark brown hair. I don't think it makes me look 10 years younger, I'm not that vacuous.

It's a good photo with good lighting and her hair looks nice.

I just don't get how you're seeing someone looking 20 years younger in this shot.

It's funny how we all see things differently.

@PuppyMonkey - lovely hair! so shiny! what do you put on it?

I'm at the growing-out stage. I have about 3 inches of natural hair coming through. It's mostly at the front, very little around the back. It is starting to come through on the sections underneath, IYSWIM, and the effect is streaky rather than a hard stripe. Thinking the next stage might be blue/purple shampoo and ramp up the conditioning treatment. My original natural colour is very dark brunette, and my hairdresser said if I try and bleach it and add silver to accelerate/disguise the growing out phase, I will end up with yellowy/orangey overprocessed hair.

So I am sitting it out, getting my hair cut a bit more often, thinking of the fabulous, chic, silver and brunette French woman I saw in a Monoprix in Dinard years ago as my hair goals! One thing I have found useful is increasing my make-up a bit - just a bit more blusher, slightly more emphatic lip and brow. And I vary between adding volume or doing a Gwyneth Paltrow style flat hair, tucked behind the ears thing. No negative comments as yet, but perhaps I move in politer/more restrained circles than the OP?

I suspect I am also kinder to my reflection in the mirror than a candid camera shot would be, but what the hell, it's my face, and my day to face with confidence!

I also think it’s a great pic, good lighting, blurred background, smooth skin tone, but I wouldn’t look at that pic either and say it’s a woman in her mid to late 30s, and am surprised that’s what rhe poster sees. I’d have said mid 50s. Most folks look their age, within 5 years either side.

Bloody hell, I definitely don’t look 37.

i know full well I look 57, I was just trying to illustrate that I don’t think I look 77.

To PP who asked, I use head and shoulders shampoo and Herbal Essences conditioner and I have bloody brilliant Dyson straighteners. Also wearing bright red lipstick, which makes the grey pop!

Mine has a mind of its own, too. Not long back from taking it for a walk 😅

OP, re the 'still dying your hair if having highlights' issue, you don't keep having the highlights, as you would need 3 sessions max, even if you did a serious colour change to lighten. I did mine 3 times and then the sun helped with lifting the rest. After that, you just wait for the hair to grow out and get it cut fairly regularly.

Today was a feel good day. Met some colleagues face to face and my hair was behaving itself style wise so I thought I was rocking the grey look. But tomorrow could be a different story. I feel compelled to explain though ( in the right context .. not just blurting it out!) that I’m deliberately embracing the grey!

That's great, good luck going through it as that stage is a bit of a pain. One nice thing if you've freed up some cash from not having to dye your hair is you can put it towards nice treatments / styling / more frequent haircuts.

@frostyfeet Yes thats true. I was spending £100 a month on root touch ups which is unsustainable for me.

Which is why I don’t want to do highlights @KnackeredBack because thats £150 each time if I have a cut too!

@Sidebeforeself

@frostyfeet Yes thats true. I was spending £100 a month on root touch ups which is unsustainable for me

If you do change your mind about the grey there are plenty of places online where you can buy professional dyes ( the ones used in hairdressers) and you would be able to do it yourself
I do my root touch ups myself and it turns out exactly like it does when I get it professionally done for a fraction of the price, I would say I spend around €15 per month max and that’s doing my roots twice per month

@Sidebeforeself last April I decided to go longer between hair dyes (I was using box dye as couldn't afford it at the hairdressers anymore, I'm rubbish at doing it, always miss bits) and I haven't dyed it since. I'm 37 and have only had two comments and both just thought I'd had it dyed lighter. Im brunette and I think dyeing it had made it even darker over time. That's not to say people haven't been thinking or saying things about me behind my back.

I'm glad I've made this decision and am still thinking never say never to dyeing again. I'm proud of myself for leaving it. It's been freeing and I've saved lots just going for a hair cut and not a dye!

I am tempted to get a "mushroom" or ash brown through my hair though if I do go for dye again. Google it and have a look.

I've also been following a few Instagram accounts of people going gray. It's really inspirational.

I decided to go natural about 8 years ago in my early 50s. So glad to be rid of the 3 weekly dying pallarva and would end up with the sides much lighter than the rest! (I have short hair). Lots of people have said it suits me and I'm much happier with it now. Unless you can afford to get it coloured professionally all the time, you can look like you're wearing a hat!! No one should be made to feel bad about growing and looking older - it's going to happen to us all, so just embrace it! I would say make sure you get a good cut & you'll look great!

My friend suffered lots of criticism at the begging; younger than you and now more friends are embracing it. Get a nice cut and keep it nice. People will get used to it; maybe start complementing you

I started growing my hair out about a year ago, I’m late 50’s and had been dyeing my hair since I was 16, mainly high/low lights though. Always done professionally though.

My hairdresser helped merge the regrowth with low lights and very, very fine blond highlights to mimic the grey coming through. She did this from the end of the end of the regrowth so at the end was doing from halfway down my head. It worked.

I’ve had so many compliments about it, it makes my blue eyes stand out more. I think you have to keep up with hair cuts and keep it well conditioned. And a bit of make up helps but I don’t look as washed out as I did with dyed hair.

I’m pleased I made the decision as I was fed up with the faff of colouring it. Felt bad for my hairdresser losing a chunk of income from me but even she says it looks better and was the right decision.