Nobody likes my greying hair!

[Sidebeforeself]

Decided to embrace my natural grey ( for many reasons!) Im entering that really tricky stage where I have a big stripe so feeling self conscious but know I have to grin and bear it. But what’s not helping is how many negative comments Im getting from friends and family. Things like Im too young to do it (54) , it’s not professional for work etc. I know DH not keen .

I realise other opinions don’t matter but when I m feeling self conscious it would be nice to get a bit of support. Did anyone else experience this?

@ChristmasinBurrRidge A respectful exchange about evidence feels a useful thing.

I wholeheartedly agree with that.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow - it's late so perhaps you attention is flagging, I know mine is. What I actually said was: 'it is implicated in organ damage and DNA mutations in studies on other mammals'.

If I can find the will to live, I'll post a link tomorrow. Good evening.

I look forward to seeing the evidence of any such damage/mutation from PPD in hair dyes (other than at levels intended to induce toxicity as part of safety testing).

Oh I’m so jealous, I always wanted the grey stripe. Unfortunately my grey is scattered throughout and to me it doesn’t look good. However once I go completely grey I will embrace it.

My eyebrows are also going grey (and my pubes, what's left of them)

I'm 6 years along the going grey road though mine are more silver and white. I just find It totally freeing no longer having to colour my hair.
Mine was blond so not the same contrast as dark hair. Would never go back and use the John Freida shampoo for silver hair. I am tempted to put in a temporary lilac colour which I will some day. Have used a lilac spray which just washes out.

Grey bird here too. I'm glad to see more women embracing their natural colours.
I've been dying my hair to hide the grey since I was 16. Stopped dying it at 40 as I was sick of covering my roots!
Growing it out is so tough- a year of white and brown banded hair-it looked awful!
But now its great, I let mine go curly too-its mad! I;ve got a white Mallen streak at the front too. I get nothing but positive comments and frankly if someone is negative about it I dont care! Its my head and I'm 45 so sod it!
We should embrace who we are instead of trying to hide our aging.

In my 40s, I have quite a lot of grey, more concentrated in some areas than others. Used to dye it, but let it grow out. Recently my hairdresser has been putting semi-permanent "vivid colour" in, which gradually fades over a few weeks. I've had purple, and currently have a kind of burgundy. I like it because it changes things up for a while without worrying about roots, and I've only ever had positive comments about it (from men and women, family, friends and even casual acquaintances and clients). I'm an accountant, and nobody has ever said it's unprofessional either in its natural state or with the vivid dye.

I am fully 10 years your junior and have never bothered to dye my greys out. I have a (natural) Morticia Adams stripe that I part my hair to emphasize. I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks, I love it!

I haven’t dyed my hair since I was a teenager, can’t be arsed tbh. Nothing wrong with looking your actual age. I think I just don’t care enough about what other people think to go through the faff of dying my hair.

I don’t even understand why you would want people to think you are younger than you actually are, you don’t get a tenner every time someone thinks you are ten years younger theres no actual benefit apart from some random thinks you have nice hair (or something Something). DH doesn’t have hair so he’d get a raised eyebrow from me if he decided he didn’t like my natural hair.

I disagree because I think it depends on the individual. My mum still had her hair dyed at 90 and looked amazing. She had wonderfully thick hair and people always thought she was much younger than she was. However, her natural colour was auburn and due to her pale skin she had kept out of the sun all her life, so her skin was always fantastic which helped.

This is a great thread. I have been dying my hair for years for fun. I have been red, brunette, blonde and had pink ends. I decided to stop colouring it and was going steel grey. Not the lovely silver some posters talk about. I had a shock and think that is why it suddenly changed as I was only in my early 40's. My oldest friend said last year it was great that I wasn't bothered about going grey but was too young and beautiful (I am now 51 and not beautiful) so I dyed it blonde again. I went lighter so as to have the less harsh contrast. Now I don't know what to do as I'm not quite there but actually don't mind going grey and don't care what others think. However I love my friend and know she was trying to make me feel better and be the best I can.

See, I think a strong lip particularly aging and dated

@Mohur I think you are spot on. I've got fairly light coloured skin, blue/ grey eyes and very dark brown hair - though mostly grey now under the dye. I'm 50 and starting to reconsider the expense and bother of dying it. I think the dark colour still works for me but I can see how the silver would work better than any blonde tones when I am finally ready to let go of my historic colour.

“Turning hair colour into some test of ideological purity, and judging women who dye their hair, is really very silly” - but judging women who don’t by saying they look older than their years/washed out/whatever else ISN’T?!

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow i didn’t mock or laugh at women who dye their hair. I stated an opinion r.e. dyed hair colour & age appearance, as every other woman on this thread has done regarding women who have gone grey early & their perceived age appearance. If you think I am misogynistic for doing so, then surely you can agree they are too? Why do you think I added that last statement about dyed hair to my original post? I was being deliberately provocative and it’s fascinating (and not at all surprising) to see the double standard and hypocrisy when I use the same negative tone about women who dye their hair that has been used by countless women on this thread about women who’ve gone grey.

There are definitely issues around the use of hair dye, especially if you have vitiligo.

vitiligosociety.org/vitlife/is-it-safe-to-dye-your-hair-when-you-have-vitiligo/#:~:text=Research%20shows%20hair%20dye%20can,early%20as%201993%5Bi%5D.

This thread, still only on page 5, makes me want to post a photo and have you knowledgable people tell me the best thing to do with my hair!

BirthdayRainbow

Please post.

We should embrace who we are instead of trying to hide our aging.

What's with the "should"? People "should" do whatever they like with their own appearance.

I dye my hair not because I don't want to look my age, but because a) my skin has reddish undertones and grey/silver/white makes me look like a tomato .... and b) if I didn't dye, I'd be the identical twin of my DM, and neither of us wants that.

It's funny how this topic is bringing out the prescriptive in people. When there are threads about retinol and tretoinin (?), I don't see anyone saying, "Embrace the wrinkles!"

I don't know how old you are but I'm going with 35 but wouldn't be surprised if you were 29. Beautiful. Lovely hair colour too.

I have grey hair and black eyebrows. I like it!

I started to let my grey grow out during the pandemic. It is quite long and in decent condition. I have had loads of compliments, some from strangers. MIL definitely doesn't like it. She hasn't said, but there have been a few general negative remarks about grey hair shot out into the ether in my presence. But then again, she is 80 and still uses dye. I tried the whole curly girl thing, but while I often got great results, they weren't consistent enough. If I don't straighten it, it's a ridiculous mixture of waves, frizzy curls and straight bits. I look my age, which is ok by me.

We should embrace who we are instead of trying to hide our aging.

We should support each other with whatever choices are best for the individual not pressure others to do what we say. Numerous posters on threads discussing grey hair have mentioned how they need to wear more make up or stronger make up etc - how is that not hiding who they truly are? Wearing make up is no different to dying your hair.

@BirthdayRainbow I think it will look great and going from blonde to silver is not too massive a change. When I finally go for it I'll be going from dark brown! May have to shave it all off!