What do you wear to look understated sexy in your 40s or 50s?

[Allwelcone]

Basically after an updated version of a previous thread from 2021. There, recomendations were about skinny jeans, silk camis, cashmere jumpers and heels.

Just wondering if things have moved on, the young 'uns seem to wesr more comfort driven androgynous styles nowadays but I'm getting ancient so don't understand if they're exactly 'sexy'.

Hiw do you tread that line?

Bump

Decent bra is my main thing! I also only wear one baggy item (I do like the androgynous, looser styles on one half of my body).

Nice shoes I think go a long way too. Unattractive shoes always make me feel like crap.

I don't wear heels though as can't be doing with the discomfort!

I saw a woman who looked to be in her fifties the other day and she looked great in jean, flat shoes and a hip length coat. I was totally staring trying to work out what made it look so good 🤔. Think it was the balance between all thr lengths (the gap between jeans ans shoes and then the coat).

Why do you want to dress to look sexy?

🙄

Something off the shoulder looks good I think. Maxi dress/skirt and sparkly boots. My friend is always gorgeously turned out and is never without her red lippy too!

@MillicentTheMagnificent good tip re only baggy on one half of body, yes shoes xan go a long way to looking ...i dunno, less like a workhorse i giess. Agree @SingsongSu along what a difference a skirt and lippy can make.
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Why not? There's nothing wrong with dressing to feel attractive or sexy. Note, I said feel not necessarily look.

Depends on your figure and your style.

Yes. Depressing when I stepped on the scales this morning 😔

Well, I'm in my 50s (actually, closer to 60) and I dunno if I look sexy, but I know that I feel, ahem, attractive in the kind of stuff I've worn to posh dinners recently ie.. MaxMara black trousers, high waisted and well cut, with a long-sleeved, quite fitted, silver shirt from COS - big cuffs, big collar, feels a bit 70s. Or quite tailored wool trousers and a silk shirt. Fairly chunky heel or statement chunky flats (Che Uemara/Russell & Bromley). One or two pieces of quite big jewellery, hair and make-up a bit more va-va-voom than usual.

Agree that feeling slim and fit helps, and good posture, confidence and some ready conversation will go a long way as well!

I think for me it's heels. I used to wear them all the time in my 20s and now I only wear any kind of heel once in a blue moon. When I do I instantly feel sexier though.

Well fitting clothes that show your curves but not revealing masses of (crepey) skin. I'm speaking for myself here

I think being slim and wearing fitted clothes.

The only sexy women I know in their 40s and 50s are all very physically fit, mostly joggers or at least regular long walkers.

I don’t think styling can help the rest of us, at this age your fitness and healthy status really shines through.

For a change lol

I wear good fitting jeans, nice belt, leather boots, black/white cami and a nice colourful blazer.

@MillicentTheMagnificent I agree, decent bra. Nothing else matters quite so much, if your boobs are propped up neatly it hides your flabby tummy too.

Discussing what looks understated and attractive (which is the look I've kind of gone for my whole life) is not the thing on these boards, people will ask you why you want to look 'sexy', but the thing is- you don't have to so if you don't like that look, or think women shouldn't look sexy, or attractive in general, then that option is available. I like to look not so much sexy (which sounds overt) but attractive and by that I mean look like me, look nice in my clothes, and show off my best features rather than gain an overall aesthetic that whilst interesting, doesn't feature my body and the best bits.

So- these days, I think some overtly 'sexy' clothes look very tired and dated, Isla Fisher is a beautiful late forties woman, she went on a TV show last week wearing a push up bra and skin-tight dress with heels and it did look dated (whereas she looked fab wearing a different dress earlier in the week) so no push up bras for now, I think (good bra, holding everything in place, yes). Similarly, I think heels can look dated, especially high ones in the daytime (and I say that as someone who wore heels for 30 odd years).

I don't agree though that all the young ones look androgenous. My students are mostly wealthy and they mainly wear baggy trousers, but they fit very well around the waist/flat stomach, and wear them with a crop or tight top. It's the tight/baggy contrast that seems to be the thing. Similarly, they might wear a tight dress on a night out with trainers. They don't look the least bit androgynous with long swishy hair, beautifully made-up faces (no long eyelashes any more), toned, tanned sometimes but not always, they look great and natural. Lots of time in the gym and lots of gym clothes worn (again, not androgynous).

I have not nailed this look but I still usually go for one baggy thing, one tighter thing (so tighter top, baggier not so structured jacket). Camis still work for me, no idea if anyone else is wearing them. I like tighter jeans in winter anyway (so skinny but with give, black, not tight parsnip blue ones) which helps, but with chunky boots.

I think dressing for your shape is still key- the current fashions are the opposite of what flatter my shape (apple), but are very flattering for pears I think, so if you are a pear, you probably look more understated sexy than I do! Looking confident and glowing is always sexy.

I think looking expensive helps, great tailoring, cashmere sweater, manicure, blow dry. Great fabrics - silk, leather, wool etc. Russell & Bromley for shoes. Cos, arket and other stories for clothes.

Take no notice of that poster. Whenever someone asks about wanting to look or feel sexy, they always pop up with that same question/remark 🙄

Early 40's here, still working on it. I've lost a fair bit of weight in the last year and that's really helped; my shape changed so much through my 30s with pregnancies and I felt like I lost myself a bit, so really focusing on my diet and overhauling my wardrobe has helped me feel more confident in how I look. Honestly, I'd been living in maternity jeans for too long and it's impossible to feel good like that.

I'd think about women whose style you like, and want to emulate, and go from there. Start building a pinterest board or following people on Instagram whose look you like and think would work for your lifestyle. Keep it realistic - there's no point aiming for a glam life if you live rurally and work with animals!

Crudely speaking it's about tits and arse.

Well fitted bra and a top and skirt/trousers that reveal the contours of your body without being super short/plunging and not so tight that it shows VPL or rolls of fat escaping from bra or waistline (you don't have to be fat to have that happen, just wearing the wrong size).

The work outfit that I probably look sexiest in is a red Hobbs wool skirt and a cream M&S ribbed jumper, because the thicker fabrics allows me to wear quite a tight fit and the mermaid fit of the skirt comes in below my bum rather than flaring straight out. (I don't have big boobs at all but my bra fits well).

In my entire life the outfit that got me most unsolicited attention from men (not in a particularly bad way, just unlooked for) was a polonecked long sleeved grey bodysuit on a thick fabric, worn with grey cutoff jeans over grey wool tights. It's all about the way your clothes happen to fit your body.

My friend is brilliant at this. She wears quite casual things with an eye on what younger people are wearing, eg trouser length, but always flattering her to her own body shape. And she always adds feminine classic accessories like leather gloves with nice stitching on. And she'll do little details like a normal turtleneck jumper with buttons at the neck or sleeve. She does kitten heels too though my feet gave up on those a decade ago!

I've never asked that before.