What do you wear to look understated sexy in your 40s or 50s?

[Allwelcone]

Basically after an updated version of a previous thread from 2021. There, recomendations were about skinny jeans, silk camis, cashmere jumpers and heels.

Just wondering if things have moved on, the young 'uns seem to wesr more comfort driven androgynous styles nowadays but I'm getting ancient so don't understand if they're exactly 'sexy'.

Hiw do you tread that line?

That's not remotely true. It's not what you want in a life partner but a million Hollywood movies and four seasons of Blakes Seven will tell you that moral failings are not incompatible with sex appeal.

Not sure how the health of your sex life is relevant to this discussion, @Lesina, but good for you. 🎉

I think most of the things Jennifer Aniston wears in This Morning on Apple TV are styled to look like a sexy 40/50 women. Definitely look there for ideas.
I think midi leather skirts can look great, instantly have that sexy frisson but well covered. Shirts with couple of buttons undone.

Silk shirt showing a bit of collar-bone more than cleavage, semi tucked in to well-fitting jeans. Boots. Fine necklace, forearms on show revealing stylish bangle or bracelet. Stylish yet slightly undone hair. Glowing skin, understated make-up that doesn't look like you're wearing any but soft smoky eyes - no spiky mascara.

Why is your husband's opinion more worthy than your own? It always amuses me when posters consult their husbands about something on Mumsnet and then post what they think, as if it is more insightful than a woman's viewpoint.

OP, confidence is key to looking good, and wearing clothes that fit and flatter, whatever your shape. Expensive brands are not necessarily better than cheaper versions.

Yes, French women in the main are very chic and stylish, I don't know why that is but they certainly have a natural flair for fashion.

very nice look😀a stylish but understated.

I like what I’d describe as understated androgynous tailoring - recent outfit was a pair of wide leg black trousers, cashmere tight polo neck, waistcoat and a blazer (all this was black), with white air force 1’s - I felt great in this outfit and my partner commented that it was sexy. Not much flesh showing at all, but it all fitted well and was very flattering.

Following as mid-40s and trying to regain some sense of being attractive after 2 c-sections. For me, it’s seeming to be clothes I’m comfortable in my own skin wearing. Not just physically comfortable but clothes that make my heart sing. I moved from Sussex, where I worked in a professional role, to a very rural area where you can wear exactly what you like (as long as it’s with wellies or DMs) and I’m observing that the sexiest women are those who are thoughtful about what they put together as an outfit but most of somehow radiate confidence in themselves even in boots and jeans. Good skin, good hair and nails are also essential for me to feel attractive, as is getting my figure back. I love cashmere, it always makes me feel
luxurious and I’m beginning to find ways of teaming skirts and boots, maxi dresses and platform trainers and cropped jeans with boots and platform trainers that I’m really happy with. Also agree with PP that only one half can be loose fitting, but conversely feel that all tight fitting at my age looks too try hard. Cheap shoes and cheap clothes don’t do me any favours at all. If I can’t afford what I know suits me, I buy second hand on EBay or Vinted. Plus managing to get out of the house without mud, dog hair or toddler food on me.

I agree with @minipie

To me the women my age who look sexy are the ones who look healthy. Great skin and hair, clear eyes, good teeth, toned body. Not necessarily wrinkle free but definitely look full of energy. And they dress accordingly - so eg lovely skin = a low cut or off the shoulder top. Great legs = small shorts in summer, with a baggy top. Toned arms = small tank top and loose jeans. Basically it’s not about the clothes it’s the body under it

The mid-40s plus women who I think are sexy and have secret girl crushes on are all sporty, slim, visible muscles

@Nutellaonall I have a couple of bit from Varley (not that beige / brown outfit linked to above though!!) . Like you I have moved over to nicer activewear as my lifestyle is a lot of exercise, outdoorsy stuff. I also like Passenger stuff which has a slightly more outdoorsy vibe than Varley, but is nice casual wear.

Completely disagree that painted nails are sexy - I see so many manicures I think look dreadfully tacky! As long as nails are clean and neat that’s all that matters!

OBVIOUSLY not Cheshire!

This is generally true but in this case the OP was specifically asking how to look sexy, not just how to look good. If the aim is to look attractive to men, what's the problem with asking men what they like?

I think that understanding and accepting your body shape (which took me 50 years to “get”) as well as wearing colours that suit you and your lifestyle are half of the battle. Then it’s important to look at your lifestyle and break it up into how much time you spend in bed, exercising/schlepping around the home, working, parties and formal occasions and build your wardrobe to accurately reflect it. I am currently clearing quite a few dressy clothes and just keeping one or two fab pieces, dumping dodgy pajamas and scruffy loungewear in favour of better quality pieces that make me feel better (have a health condition). I will spend more on well-fitting casual clothes that suit my climate and lifestyle as well as some exercise wear that I can wear to the gym and not feel like such a schlubb. I have donated most of my heels and scruffy or uncomfortable shoes and am just keeping ones in good nick that I wear all the time. (Dr Martens, flatform sandals, gym shoes and Converse boots.)

Exactly. Spend money on you Mr day to day stuff that actually fits your lifestyle and you will wear rather than on clothes you never have an occasion for so you end up wearing a ratty old things day to day.

But there seems to be a conflation between "looking good" and "looking sexy" tho'.

Does "looking sexy" mean dressing to look attractive to a potential sexual partner?

No Obviously not!!!😆They're not 'Cheshire Ladies' that's for sure😆

DiamondGazette

Why is your husband's opinion more worthy than your own?

I had already posted my opinion some hours before chatting to my DH about the thread.

My DH ‘s opinion isn’t more worthy of my own, it’s another opinion that I thought may add interest to this thread seeing that he is a man in his 50’s.

Well as he's in his 50s, @NewYear24, what does he wear to look understatedly sexy?

There is no way that that Varley oversized beige knitwear is sexy on anyone

Very MN. All those thread about looking 'expensive'. Not something I give a fig about.

"Why is your husband's opinion more worthy than your own? It always amuses me when posters consult their husbands about something on Mumsnet and then post what they think, as if it is more insightful than a woman's viewpoint."

In a discussion about being sexy, the opinion of the opposite sex (or which every sex you're attracted to) is obviously pretty relevant.
It's not another woman who can tell you what would attract a man, which is presumably the point of 'sexy'.

"Does "looking sexy" mean dressing to look attractive to a potential sexual partner?"

Well, yes, doesn't it? What does it mean to you?

You can look good without looking sexy. They're not the same thing.

Gillian Anderson in The Fall. Also black 10 denier tights.

Why is that relevant? She does. She said that. She asked what might help. You sound snearing.

Same here @Gwenhwyfar

I am pretty much head to toe black emo vibes, and I often feel quite sexy. But expensive and natural fibres and beige leisure wear it ain't - that's a moneyed school run look that I find fairly bland.