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Original poster

Fancy US wedding

153 replies

Lemongrassicedtea · 05/12/2023 22:34

Dh and I have been invited to a fancy wedding in the US - they are getting married in an actual cathedral! Dh has to wear a tux, what should I be wearing? I’m guessing very fancy?

any thoughts very much appreciated. I’m an athletic build and have an open budget. Tia

OP posts:
Thread gallery
26
LaurieStrode · 07/12/2023 12:11

@Wallaw that velvet column dress is perfect. With some sort of jacket or wrap.

Original poster
Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 12:23

That Asher dress is gorgeous, sadly not in my size in the burgundy though which is the nicest colour. Ok, I’m going to try and find something similar in my size and hopefully in budget. Thanks for all your help

OP posts:
LondonPapa · 07/12/2023 13:01

Lemongrassicedtea · 06/12/2023 21:19

New York. Afternoon wedding in cathedral then fancy hotel in the evening.

do you know which cathedral and which hotel for the evening do? If it is anything like a family member's wedding, you may want to consider a cathedral dress and an evening dress for the wedding.

If it is St. Patrick's for wedding and then The Plaza for example, the more you dress up, the better. If your hubby wearing a tux, you should dress appropriately to match.

LaurieStrode · 07/12/2023 13:06

Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 12:23

That Asher dress is gorgeous, sadly not in my size in the burgundy though which is the nicest colour. Ok, I’m going to try and find something similar in my size and hopefully in budget. Thanks for all your help

Don't forget to shop the secondhand online venues; you might find a beautiful vintage velvet dress.

Shufflebumnessie · 07/12/2023 13:14

Have you looked at Phase Eight?https://www.phase-eight.com/product/donna-velvet-maxi-dress-221855050.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=58&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221855050&pos=72
Or in red
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/donna-maxi-dress-221128731.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=118&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221128731&pos=134
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/sofia-embroidered-maxi-dress-221711351.html#isSecondPage=false&start=118&sz=60&is=true&imageType=model&cgid=Occasionwear&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221711351&pos=140
This might have too much white but it's pretty glam
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/hermione-tapework-maxi-dress-221738078.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=178&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221738078&pos=204
This one has sleeves
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/freesia-black-maxi-dress-221770050.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=238&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221770050&pos=240
Simple midi but elegant
https://www.phase-eight.com/product/athena-halter-neck-pointelle-dress-221725050.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=238&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221725050&pos=296

Black Velvet Sleeveless Wrap Maxi Dress | Phase Eight |

Shop the Donna black velvet sleeveless wrap maxi dress with an open back and ruched detailing at Phase Eight. Get free delivery when you spend over £150.

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/donna-velvet-maxi-dress-221855050.html#navAjax=true&imageType=model&is=true&sz=60&start=58&cgid=Occasionwear&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=clothingType&prefv1=Dresses&pid=221855050&pos=72

ChevyCamaro · 07/12/2023 13:19

That black velvet phase 8 dress is about the right type of style, but it's horrible cheap polyester. In real velvet would be much better. Maybe go vintage?

Nordlo · 07/12/2023 14:11

What does the invitation say? Black tie or black tie optional?

Nordlo · 07/12/2023 14:13

Ignore me. I just read your update. Then you definitely need a gown. I would look at Nordstroms to give you an idea of what other people might wear.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 07/12/2023 14:30

JingsMahBucket · 07/12/2023 08:02

Same here and I agree. No godawful chintz, animal prints or maxi dresses.

Show quote history

This, but I would also just ask the bride & groom what others will be wearing. There is a lot more variety of dress in US weddings than UK ones, IME. I once went to a wedding in Texas where I was required to limbo dance while drinking tequila, so you just never know 😉

SeaToSki · 07/12/2023 14:40

If it says gown, it doesnt necessarily mean full length (I live in the US). I would go for below the knee but not to the floor. Also I would cover shoulders for the service (especially if its a catholic cathedral) and think about the weather. It may well be minus ten and icy/snowy/slushy outside. You will probably not be walking far in it, but satin or suede shoes (or anything else that ruins with some water) would be sensible to avoid

londonmummy1966 · 07/12/2023 15:18

If you like Needle and Thread then this might well work.Also has the advantage that if you 're unlikely to need a long dress again it would work if you got a local dressmaker to shorten it to a more cocktail length afterwards. t would be worth checking whether or not you need to change between the cathedral and the reception some black tie weddings work in a similar way to the royal family where if the reception is long then you also wear long to the ceremony. This is covered up enough to get you through the ceremony as well if necessary.

https://www.needleandthread.com/products/evelyn-long-sleeve-gown-graphite?_pos=62&_fid=7617ff755&_ss=c

Evelyn Long Sleeve Gown

Description & Details The Evelyn Long Sleeve Gown in Graphite. This Needle & Thread signature style features delicate tulle ruffles throughout. This gown features engineered diamond ruffles, creating an all-over romantic, frothy texture. Design...

https://www.needleandthread.com/products/evelyn-long-sleeve-gown-graphite?_fid=7617ff755&_pos=62&_ss=c

CarolinaInTheMorning · 07/12/2023 15:28

As some other posters, I'm American living in the US. I'm a veteran of many weddings, from barns in the South to cathedrals in the Northeast.

One of the reasons that Americans have black tie weddings in the afternoon is that they are really dressing for the reception that follows which will be, at least partly, during traditional black tie time frames. And in my experience "gown" does mean floor-length, and I think you mentioned that they specified floor-length. You don't need to have one dress for the ceremony and another for the reception.

I would wear a long dress in a solid color (black is acceptable for formal weddings in the US) that is not overtly "sexy." I would look for something that has sleeves, but failing that, a wrap that can cover your shoulders while you are in the cathedral. That's not a hard and fast rule anymore, but many people do follow it, and there will be some who expect it.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 07/12/2023 15:48

I live in NYC and have been to many a fancy evening wedding.

You need a cocktail length or long slinky dress. Not a ballgown, but not a day dress either. No hats or headgear.

I'd suggest a silk slip dress with a velvet blazer or sequined jacket over the top. The app won't let me add a pic, so apologies for the awful link: images.app.goo.gl/o4NKvvmMW8Q5STC89

Tulle skirts are also having a moment right now, but the styling is tricky. Sorting like this would be fab, but tricky to pull off: images.app.goo.gl/MrPVvP2GaMRSpmqU7

I wore my tulle skirt to a black tie event the other week, with a silk cami and a black ballet wrap cardigan w/giant fur collar, but it took ages to get it right. One of my friends got hers out the other day with an embellished puff sleeved cardigan and she looked amazing.

JennyLopez · 07/12/2023 15:59

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Ruthietuthie · 07/12/2023 16:22

@Soonenough is right about the dress-code. Dress as if you are going to a black-tie evening event, not to a pastel-shades and hat English wedding.

Ruthietuthie · 07/12/2023 16:24

Oh, and silky/slinky rather than big puffy skirt ball-gown.

Original poster
Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 16:48

thanks for the advice everyone. I’m going to aim for a column dress in velvet or satin with a fancy jacket of some description. It’s going to be very different to my normal wedding experience and I think it will be a lot of fun, just don’t want to show Dh up in front of his friends by wearing the wrong thing! He definitely has the easier option with a specified tux.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 16:55

That teal flutter dress is a lovely colour , thank you for thinking of me (and thank you to everyone else who took the time to post links) I really can’t do wrap dresses due to being critically flat chested which does rule out a surprising amount of evening wear!

OP posts:
howlismoving · 07/12/2023 17:22

Based on your description of your size and shape I think you'd look great in Self Portrait - you can get quite good prices on net-a-porter - https://www.net-a-porter.com/en-us/shop/product/self-portrait/clothing/midi-dresses/tiered-lace-trimmed-embroidered-tulle-midi-dress/1647597290133170

MissConductUS · 07/12/2023 18:11

Lemongrassicedtea · 06/12/2023 21:19

New York. Afternoon wedding in cathedral then fancy hotel in the evening.

NY'er here. Is it at St. John the Devine or St. Pat's?

An afternoon wedding will be a bit less formal than an evening wedding, so I think the self-portrait dress like the one above, or something similar, would be fine.

Do not wear a fascinator! They're not the done thing here, and it would be seen as trying to distract attention from the bride.

Fingeronthebutton · 07/12/2023 18:53

Bombshell have some beauties. And you covered. Have you been to New York in the winter 😱

Fancy US wedding
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