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Original poster

Fancy US wedding

153 replies

Lemongrassicedtea · 05/12/2023 22:34

Dh and I have been invited to a fancy wedding in the US - they are getting married in an actual cathedral! Dh has to wear a tux, what should I be wearing? I’m guessing very fancy?

any thoughts very much appreciated. I’m an athletic build and have an open budget. Tia

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Lizzieregina · 07/12/2023 05:10

I’d say a sleek black cocktail dress.

Itwasafterallallaboutme · 07/12/2023 06:23

How do you know the engaged couple @Lemongrassicedtea? Because if there is any chance of you talking to the bride I would do that. I think she will probably be the best one to guide you. If you have not got access to the bride, then can whoever wanted you on the guest list give you some positive feedback.

I would be far too worried about getting it really wrong, to risk any dress without bridal party approval. Also, would it be possible to wear one thing for the Cathedral, and then something else to the evening do? I know that would then give you the dilema of having to choose two outfits instead of one, but.....

Fingerscrossedfor2021HK · 07/12/2023 06:33

Hit the sales and get something midi length from the vampire’s wife - perfect on your slim frame and guaranteed to hit the nail on the head for this sort of wedding (have been to lots like this). Plus, will have sleeves so you won’t be cold - the dress below is lovely but even better if you can get your hands on one of the metallic ones (I appreciate that full price they are way over your preferred 500 budget but they do often go on sale)...

Fancy US wedding
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JingsMahBucket · 07/12/2023 08:02

Crankyaboutfood · 07/12/2023 00:30

I am a New Yorker. You don’t need to wear full length. A nice quality black or dark colored dress in the winter would be fine. Don’t wear a pattern.

Same here and I agree. No godawful chintz, animal prints or maxi dresses.

HardcoreLadyType · 07/12/2023 08:59

The dress you have posted is lovely. Too English? You are English! (I assume, although you did say “tux”.)

And wear a smart coat over the top - I’m sure you have one - a cardigan and shawl just sounds chilly and untidy.

DirtyCarrots · 07/12/2023 09:40

What about something from Rixo? Lots of great evening dresses that are in budget.

rixolondon.com/collections/evening-edit?page=2

Marionberry · 07/12/2023 10:00

I have been to three black tie weddings in America and wore an evening gown to the main event at each.

Two were relatives of mine so full on three day Chinese weddings with tea ceremonies, so those events required three outfits but that is next level, my God it’s expensive being a guest at those. One I went to where I ended up being related to folk from New York, almost all the New Yorkers wore black dresses. They were very elegant.

My favourite was when I wore a dress similar to this made of heavy satin

Is there a rehearsal dinner as well?

Fancy US wedding
LaurieStrode · 07/12/2023 10:41

Crankyaboutfood · 07/12/2023 00:30

I am a New Yorker. You don’t need to wear full length. A nice quality black or dark colored dress in the winter would be fine. Don’t wear a pattern.

Agree; don't go all red carpet or bare skin. You want elegance, not disco.

Something classic in wine-coloured velvet would be nice. Even a dressy cocktail suit with a sparkly top under the jacket.

LaurieStrode · 07/12/2023 10:43

Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 07:24

If I’m honest, I was thinking more like this, but it seems it may not be ‘evening gown’ enough? More English wedding? It seems I should be looking for something more streamlined

https://www.needleandthread.com/products/celestia-ribbon-ankle-gown-teal

This is too garden party.

QueenOfWeeds · 07/12/2023 10:45

Can’t help directly, but a friend of mine is an older gentleman and, many years ago, went to his American ex-girlfriend’s wedding (nope, not sure why either) in a smart US venue. He wore, being of a certain generation, a morning suit. Turned up to find that the only men wearing morning suits were the groom and his ushers. Apparently mother of the bride laid into him for trying to pull focus. So I definitely recommend trying to speak to someone either in, or close to, the bridal party.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 07/12/2023 10:48

If men are wearing dinner jackets then its black tie. Evening dress I guess though that seems weird in a church in afternoon! I'd go midi/ballerina length to bridge that gap?
Never did like the US penchant for black tie wedding in daytime, seems bizarre but each to their own.

StillWantingADog · 07/12/2023 10:48

That does sound posh!
that said I have been to two US weddings and was struck by how casual they were compared with ours. It was only us Brits that made a proper effort. Also no sit down meal. Just a buffet which I think would be unusual here.

not in New York though so probably not relevant.

LaurieStrode · 07/12/2023 10:51

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 07/12/2023 10:48

If men are wearing dinner jackets then its black tie. Evening dress I guess though that seems weird in a church in afternoon! I'd go midi/ballerina length to bridge that gap?
Never did like the US penchant for black tie wedding in daytime, seems bizarre but each to their own.

It is bizarre.

VaddaABeetch · 07/12/2023 10:53

I’m useless at links. I’d look at The Fold or Suzanna London in the sales, not full price.

Sd352 · 07/12/2023 11:07

Not uncommon in the US. The ceremony would start in the afternoon, say, 3 pm, followed by reception. In winter, that’s late enough for black tie. It felt odd at a 2 pm church ceremony in August though.

gotomomo · 07/12/2023 11:29

Think red carpet not per Una! Plain rather than florals and at least 3/4 length. Quite different to posh U.K. wedding styles. No one wore hats at the one I went to. If you google mother of the bride outfits you will see just how different the prevailing look is, so a paired down version of them so no train etc

Original poster
Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 11:51

Ok. I have logged into the wedding website which helpfully has a FAQ section. The ceremony is ‘formal’ and the reception is black tie, floor length gown is specifically mentioned. I’m not sure I have the fortitude to find two different outfits, one that covers both would be the ideal

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Original poster
Lemongrassicedtea · 07/12/2023 11:55

I really appreciate all the help by the way, I am completely clueless and very grateful

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