Bollocky bollocks I’m too fat for my party dress

[VenusClapTrap]

I have a lovely party dress that I treated myself to a couple of years ago. Only wore it once but it made me feel great. Got it out last night for a party, and although I got it on, it looked awful, and trying to get it off again reminded me of peeling a chorizo - I was stuck for quite some time. 🤦‍♀️

So now I need a new dress for New Year’s Eve, as we are hosting a big gathering.

I’m a large 10 or size 12 depending on vanity sizing levels. All my weight is round my middle. Smallish boobs, legs ok. Blonde, suit muted colours. Black drains me.

Suggestions of flattering dresses gratefully received! Budget around £150.

If you still like your dress after the chorizo-peeling incident (great image btw), then it’s worth trying a control slip / Spanx type underwear. If you do IRL shopping, take your dress with you to try on over the top and see what a difference it makes. Will be a lot cheaper and more reusable than a new dress!

I've just started a thread asking for shape wear help!
I spent all last night breathing in!

Another vote for shapewear, it really does make a difference. I got some shorts and camisole from Conturve and they are a game changer. Also easy to manage in the ladies if you catch my drift and very comfortable.

Oh I already had shapewear on underneath. That probably contributed to my difficulty in getting out of the dress!

I’m going to have to lay off the mince pies.

But I still need a dress for the festive period.

Ah, well in that case… anything you like here?

There’s also a great thread with a personal stylist who has answered loads of questions about festive dresses here.

Could you find the same dress on Ebay in a different size?

I appreciate this isn't what you've asked but when I'm self conscious of my middle I tend to prefer wearing trousers and a top over a dress. Ultimately body shape is what it is so any dress that fits to the body is going to reflect what it is underneath. Trousers and a top cut you off at a slimmer point naturally and I find it a more flattering silhouette.

I'm not a big party person but went to a charity dinner recently in wide leg trousers, heels and a one shouldered sequinned top, nice clutch bag, made the effort with hair and makeup and felt great, and comfortable. All the dresses I tried on just didn't feel the same way.

Can you show a picture of the dress OP? It will give us an idea of what you like.

Unfortunately I must join the I’m Too Fat For My Party Dress Club. Now totally at sea about what to wear this coming Friday. I was so proud of myself for shopping from
my closet for a change…

Thanks for the links ShangPie, I’ll take a look. So much black though, on first glance. It doesn’t do me any favours.

I don’t really want something similar to my old dress because it’s quite figure hugging, so even in a larger size I’ll end up with the sausage effect. I need something that skims rather than clings.

Wide leg trousers look terrible on me because I’m only 5’3”, so even if I find ones that aren’t too long, they still make me look dumpy, sadly. Which is a shame because I do like the silver ones that are around!

What do I like? Stuff that no longer suits me! Vampires Wife type silhouette - I really like the green Monsoon dress in ShangPie’s link, but I’d just look pregnant in it. Argh. I need to find a whole new shape to wear. Shift type things I suppose.

Solidarity fist bump, @pepperaunt. Perimenopause is a bitch (well that’s my excuse anyway).

Just read through that whole stylist thread! Brilliant. I think I might need to find some silver trousers that aren’t awful on me.

Is this the wrong shape? https://www.zara.com/uk/en/zw-collection-sequinned-chiffon-dress-p04786348.html?v1=297813133&v2=2290661

Or

https://www.oasisfashion.com/product/oasis-rainbow-stripe-sequin-mini-shift-dress_baa07992?colour=multi

https://www.oasisfashion.com/product/oasis-floral-sequin-wrap-midi-dress_baa07880?colour=multi

https://www.oasisfashion.com/product/nasty-gal-metallic-disc-tassel-beaded-shift-dress_bgg19906?colour=silver

https://www.oasisfashion.com/product/debut-london-debut-london-high-neck-flare-sleeve-mini-dress_ddd11061?colour=cobalt

Not sure how you feel about Jolie Moi but I thought some of the dresses here were really nice.

https://www.next.ie/en/shop/gender-women-editorial-label/brand-joliemoi-feat-newin#0

Ooh love the Oasis disc tassel beaded shift! Crucially it looks like it’s loose round the waist, so that could be a contender!

The keyhole Jolie Moi dress in dark blue could work too; depends on the fabric and how it hangs. The silver version is lovely but I feel it would be less forgiving than the navy.

thank you!

I'm a size 12, smallish boobs and waist, I carry my weight on tummy/bum/hips, classic pear shape. I find swing/skater style dresses to be most flattering for me. For maximum party effect I wear a petticoat underneath. Bonus is if you have a bloaty tum due to overindulgence the dress hides it all!

Try these websites and see if anything suits.
collectif
British retro the dee dee style is very flattering, ive had many compliments on my silver one.
hell bunny
dolly and dotty

Sorry, no help on the dress front, I'm more of a trouser girl, but I've got the M & S Harper silver jeans, they look really good on, I was surprised - I sized up, they are better looser and got a regular leg as they come up short even though they're meant to be a crop.

Not really my sort of style, but thank you Sootsprite. I think I might order the Oasis sequin one and see what it looks like.

I wish I could just go to the shops and try stuff on like in ye olden days. Take in a barrel of clothes in the fitting room and go nope nope nope, and then often come up with some wild card outfit that you’d never pick out or take a risk with online, but which is worth a shot if you’re trying on anyway. All this ordering and waiting and sending stuff back seems so regressive to me! But all the shops are gone or have limited stock. It’s rubbish.

Rina I like those trousers a lot! Not too flappy. I might just get away with them. No idea what I’d do about the top half though. My days of strappy tops are over and I can’t do the tuck thing as it makes my waist look massive.

God I agree. I miss shopping the old fashioned way too...there is nothing in the shops now, they are dying a death.
I actually had a (very rare) wild card success this weekend. Tried on a you-never-know number in River Island and it absolutely hit the spot. Wore it to the works do and felt fabulous.
Trying things on is so essential. All the back and forthing of online shopping is a bloody faff and time drain.

It is a bloody faff! I hate faff.

I keep going back to this dress that I spotted while scrolling. It’s sugar pink - should someone who’s 49 go near sugar pink?? Dd will make vomiting noises I know. But the shape is good, it covers dodgy upper arms, and it’s a bit different - I like different. Probably far too short though.

https://www.self-portrait.com/products/pink-boucle-diamante-mini-dress

Incidentally, I'd seen a dress in another shop I liked the look of (my shape, my style) and the sort of thing I might order online as a safe bet. I went in store and tried it on and omg did it make me look like a sack of spuds. Awful!

I have neither the legs or the poise to carry off a dress like that. I'd end up flashing minge and arse everywhere.

Ultimately body shape is what it is so any dress that fits to the body is going to reflect what it is underneath. Trousers and a top cut you off at a slimmer point naturally and I find it a more flattering silhouette.

That might be true if you're plus size but the OP is a 10-12.

Her current dress is too tight bit she doesn't need solutions to flatter her shape she is a healthy weight.

Oh I do need solutions to flatter my shape! But thank you. I’m not enormous but I’m short and have this massive menopausal tummy and back fat. This middle bit needs skimming over so it is all about finding an outfit that’s the right shape.