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Original poster

Help Please: White dress for a funeral

134 replies

Eastie77Returns · 09/09/2023 17:30

I'm losing my mind. I need to find a white dress for a funeral (late relative's request, all immediate family must wear this colour) and I've been looking for days.

Most of what I've found so far is too short, partywear or out of budget. As this is something I'm unlikely to wear again - white dresses do not really suit me - I do not want to pay more than £100. The only appropriate stuff I've found so far has been the likes of All Saints or Karen Millen which are far above the budget.

At this point the only dress I've found that I like is this. Be honest, does this look appropriate as I sent it to a relative and she bluntly said I look like I'm going to get married:-
https://www.debenhams.com/product/coast-rose-stretch-lace-v-neck-midi-dress_bcc05561

Alternatively, really like this but worried what 'Pearl' looks like in real life. Is that an off white?
https://www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-rashelle-jersey-maxi-dress/pearl/p110318308?deepLink=false

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
MrsAntro · 10/09/2023 12:47

I love this dress. If you were to wear it to a funeral in black then everyone would say its perfectly acceptable and appropriate. I think it’s very lady like and given the struggles to pick something, I think it’s a great choice. Go for it, it definitely does not look like a wedding dress to me. Alternatively, you could wear a white cami, or shirt and white linen trousers. But I do like the dress. X

ghislaine · 10/09/2023 13:11

How about this? https://www.mandco.com/tie-waist-detail-tunic-p?currency=GBP&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsv6Z0_KfgQMVGd_tCh1kNwu5EAQYJiABEgIKefD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

if you are going to wear the pillbox, I’d think about removing the birdcage veil as it gives off cocktail’ vibes.

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 10/09/2023 13:46

ghislaine · 10/09/2023 13:11

How about this? https://www.mandco.com/tie-waist-detail-tunic-p?currency=GBP&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsv6Z0_KfgQMVGd_tCh1kNwu5EAQYJiABEgIKefD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

if you are going to wear the pillbox, I’d think about removing the birdcage veil as it gives off cocktail’ vibes.

Hmmm...I was hoping the birdcage would give more a of demure, grieving look:))

OP posts:
Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 10/09/2023 13:49

accountpasswordaboutyou · 10/09/2023 12:48

I quite like the top bit but there is something really troubling me about the bottom of this dress (at the front) and the uneven floaty bit!

OP posts:
ghislaine · 10/09/2023 14:34

If it were black I’d agree absolutely, but white birdcages are very wedding-y. Anyway try it with and without, you should be able to scrunch back the netting and clip it up so you don’t have to cut it.

How strict is the “hat” rule? Does the whole head/hair have to be covered, or just the crown or is a token covering like a headband sufficient.

I don’t know if it’d be considered too Catholic and so prohibited but in your shows I’d be very tempted by an infinity mantilla: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Infinity-Catholic-Mantilla-Embroidered-Elegant/dp/B07PY7HMWS/ref=asc_df_B07PY7HMWS/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=214483564014&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=1911463288504607935&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1002316&hvtargid=pla-761639396288&psc=1

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 10/09/2023 16:25

Do you have to wear white shoes too? What a nightmare!

I'm very sorry for your loss, Eastie. Flowers

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 18:10

JaceLancs · 10/09/2023 17:15

£64.50 in the half price sale? Your Jaegar one is probably nicer but this one looks like a work uniform.
Emperor's New clothes.

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 18:11

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 18:10

£64.50 in the half price sale? Your Jaegar one is probably nicer but this one looks like a work uniform.
Emperor's New clothes.

Show quote history

Sorry if this sounded rude, I am not a fan of The White Company but could ans should have kept my thoughts to myself

LookItsMeAgain · 10/09/2023 18:29

This one is pretty too. Not sure if the dress has to be pure white or if ivory or cream or yellow might work?

www.debenhams.com/product/coast-mono-tipping-detail-a-line-dress_bcc01479

Sorry for your loss. 💐

Original poster
Eastie77Returns · 10/09/2023 20:24

I’m waiting for the Vinted dress to arrive and the back upfrom Prettylittlething and if neither of them work I’ll def look at some of the other suggestions.

There are a few thread suggested that are nice but they are like smocks which unfortunately do not suit me at all. I tend to look shapeless and lumpen in them. I don’t think I’ll look ‘good’ whatever I wear tbh as all white does not suit me. Unfortunately it will be a long day. Church service, burial and then a gathering with lots of food & drink until late evening.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g thanks, tis a nightmare indeed. Not sure about shoes but I’m trying to find an unobtrusively non white pair. Perhaps Metallic.

OP posts:
Pocketfullofdogtreats · 10/09/2023 21:16

If I was only going to wear it once I'd go round the charity shops. Bound to find something that would be acceptable - doesn't have to look fabulous!

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 21:25

www.johnlewis.com/baukjen-maria-botanical-print-midi-dress-white-multi/p110173007?s_share=jlappdroid

£111 so bit over budget, but at least you might get to wear it again with the flowers on, as you said plain white doesn't suit you

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 21:29

Mumsmet · 10/09/2023 21:25

www.johnlewis.com/baukjen-maria-botanical-print-midi-dress-white-multi/p110173007?s_share=jlappdroid

£111 so bit over budget, but at least you might get to wear it again with the flowers on, as you said plain white doesn't suit you

Apologies it is only in size 6 but direct from Bauken thr Maria is available for £96 in many sizes and 15% off if you sign up

www.baukjen.com/products/maria-dress-with-lenzing-ecovero-white-botanical-floral

Gwendimarco · 11/09/2023 08:15

For unobtrusive shoes you could go for a peach / nude colour?

AlvaLane · 11/09/2023 09:12

I wish PP’s would read the OP’s updates before posting….🤷‍♀️

As you've purchased your dress from Vinted ( hooray for a bargain) - what about shoes from there too. Again, they don't have to be second hand.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 11/09/2023 09:23

I'd just double check about the hat, our local Pentecostals (at least, I think they're Pentecostals) are ok with a headband and most of the women wear those fat Sarah Ferguson headbands all the time. Which while not pretty, will be easier than sourcing a hat.

MsRosley · 11/09/2023 15:23

CornishTiger · 09/09/2023 17:45

Why are the family going along with this? That’s a difficult request to fulfil!

Imagine dictating what people can wear to your funeral!

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