Help Please: White dress for a funeral

[Eastie77Returns]

I'm losing my mind. I need to find a white dress for a funeral (late relative's request, all immediate family must wear this colour) and I've been looking for days.

Most of what I've found so far is too short, partywear or out of budget. As this is something I'm unlikely to wear again - white dresses do not really suit me - I do not want to pay more than £100. The only appropriate stuff I've found so far has been the likes of All Saints or Karen Millen which are far above the budget.

At this point the only dress I've found that I like is this. Be honest, does this look appropriate as I sent it to a relative and she bluntly said I look like I'm going to get married:-
https://www.debenhams.com/product/coast-rose-stretch-lace-v-neck-midi-dress_bcc05561

Alternatively, really like this but worried what 'Pearl' looks like in real life. Is that an off white?
https://www.johnlewis.com/jolie-moi-rashelle-jersey-maxi-dress/pearl/p110318308?deepLink=false

If there's a house or land even if it's going to be transferred to a beneficiary you'll need a solicitor.

If there is anything which needs to be valued surveyors and valuers are used to getting instructions from solicitors and solicitors know who to instruct. If you're doing it on your own you'll have to deal with all that.

Depending on the terms of the will an ongoing trust might have been created.

And good luck dealing with HMRC on your own if IHT is due.

You didn’t get on so they choose you so it was a burden. That’s why!

Thanks. It's not a legal requirement, then, just a strong recommendation. I'm sure you're right for a very high value estate or one including many assets, but I trained as an accountant and have not found it difficult dealing with the few relatively straightforward estates in our family. No trusts, major asset is the family home, no IHT due. I believe IHT is very rarely due because the allowances are so high, a spouse's unused allowance passes to the widow(er) and most people leave their homes to their children. Fair amount of admin when someone dies, but not too onerous if their affairs were in good order. I would be very reluctant indeed to get involved if there were any family disputes, though.

I think a lay person would be bonkers to take this on. For starters they need to organise insurance to protect themselves against claims such as failing to identify the correct beneficiaries or failing to settle all debts due. They are personally liable for mistakes.

If there is a house and it's not going to a spouse or civil partner or children it's fairly easy to reach the IHT threshold. They need to consider if gifts were made within the 7 years prior to death and count them back in or if there was a gift with a reservation of benefit.

Lay executors can't charge for their time.

@AlvaLane the Vinted white midi you suggested arrived and is perfect. Another bargain at £7 new with tags.

I can’t believe I’ve managed to put together 3 complete white outfits, shoes and a hat for myself and DC for £46 total. Thank you everyone.

@NatashaDancing Sorry this should go on the legal board and I’ll open a thread there but am curious: I’ve spoken to my family again and no-one wants to be executor. I have not yet got hold of the solicitor to ask but apparently I need to register my refusal in writing with a Probate Registry and this has to be witnessed. Does that sound right? My helpful family has said if I don’t want to do it and plan to go against the deceased’s wishes then I need to appoint “specialist solicitors” who can carry out the duties instead. I don’t know if that is possible? The deceased has left property, various pensions and other assets. Apparently I’m a beneficiary (I don’t know if that is true).

https://allanjanes.com/-Dealing-with-Difficult-Estates-Part-4-What-If-An-Executor-Doesnt-Want-to-ActRenunciationIf you are named as an executor in the Will and you do not want to administer the estate at all, you may renounce. Someone may wish to do this for a variety of reasons, for example if they are very elderly, unwell, do not have the time, or there are other external factors such as disputes which means it would not be appropriate for them to do the job.You renounce as an executor by completing a deed of renunciation. This will permanently free you of the responsibility of dealing with the estate. Once you have signed this your executorship is cancelled and that cannot be reversed. Someone else will need to step in and do the job instead of you. Usually this would be another executor if another one is named in the will, or it may be one or more of the beneficiaries named in the will.You cannot renounce if you have already started dealing with the administration process. It is therefore important to think at the outset whether you are willing or able to administer the estate. It is far more difficult once the administration process has begun to step away from your role as executor.

Your family is surely wrong about having to find a replacement. Not your responsibility. I am also sure Natasha is right that an amateur unpaid executor would be mad to take on a complicated estate. If you weren't close enough to the deceased to be sure about all the assets and liabilities, or whether s/he made any gifts in the last seven years etc, that's one area of difficulty. I'm also picking up a sense from your posts that there are some tensions within the family. I'd walk away from this one, sharpish. Good luck.

The link Gaspide posted is correct. Do not agree to appoint solicitors as that might count as dealing with the estate and you can't then resign.

If there are no other executors named then the beneficiaries should choose an administrator. You do need to sign the form PA15.

I am so pleased! Love a bargain and some recycling!

Thanks so much for letting me know!