Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

[Monkeynuts57]

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

YANBU

Is it…?

(Princess of Wales if it’s not clear).

You've never encountered the tradition of the bride being the only one to wear white to her wedding.

You see, I always thought the rule was that you mustn’t be mistaken for the bride. Hence a long white dress was a no no - and I suppose from that came a “no white” blanket rule. But how it’s a problem to wear a coloured dress with a cream jacket or a floral dress with a white background, I must admit I don’t understand! Maybe it’s all about photos these days?

I once went to someone’s vow renewal and borrowed a dress from my sister because I had nothing suitable to wear. The “bride” was an ott type and was treating it like a wedding. When I got there I suddenly realised that I was wearing ivory. I was mortified. It just hadn’t occurred to me because I was so stressed about finding something to wear. What was worse was that it was a beautiful dress and attracted a lot of attention. The bride didn’t seem at all bothered because she was easily the centre of attention but I was so embarrassed. Never again.

It’s supposed to be a thing not to wear white/cream but recently I’ve been looking for a dress as a wedding guest and many searches on phase eight, Hobbs etc are bringing up plain white/cream dresses.

Is this a SIL thing? Mine also wore a white suit, shoes and hat to mine

It hadn't occurred to me to wonder what guests might show up wearing and I had not heard of the "no white" rule, but just knew straight away that this has to be bad form.

You committed to someone for the rest of your life that day and what you remember is a cream jumpsuit? And you're allowing that to ruin your memories of the day you took your vows and celebrated your relationahip with your spouse?

Worked in London,Home counties, North East, North West,Midlands,Scotland and I’ll grant you some of the sites we’re old, but underground bunkers?NO
Have attended lots of weddings, B&G of various faiths and humanist ceremonies too
No one had rules guests about wearing white

The jumpsuit is fabulous, but plain white or cream is a no no for a wedding. If she is nice and you otherwise have a good relationship I could get past it, but if there's a history of passive aggressive dogs then you know it was done to upset you.

I knew about this way before Mumsnet.

I've just checked on the Hitched UK website. It's still a thing.

I don't really understand why someone would chose plain white fabric as a wedding guest.

Haha priceless. Maybe no told Kate the rules! Oh no the universal rules…broken

@Mirabai princess of Wales’ dress was actually yellow but in some lighting it did look more cream. There’s been a suggestion some media outlets lightened it to create drama. On Tv screens it looked yellow.

Camilla wore white to Charles and Diana’s wedding then the queen wore white to Charles and Camilla’s - perfectly passive aggressive 🤣

I’ve seen one guest wear white to a wedding. One. I don’t know what the bride thought but the guest was, predictably, bitched about by every other female guest.

There are so many colours and patterns available and the only thing you’ve got to avoid is wearing a plain white or cream outfit. It’s such an obnoxious thing to do.

It was rude and attention seeking. It also looks like an alternative to a wedding dress. Was she upset at not being a bridesmaid or something?

@Monkeynuts57 there is a very good chance this will be picked up by tabloids and put on social media so your sil might find out.

Assuming she's British or American, I think it's very odd she would do this. I've always been aware it's an unwritten rule for women not to wear a white or cream outfit to a wedding. So for a woman to choose to do that, you have to wonder what they were trying to achieve.

At the same time, in the photos you have where she's there, would anyone have a hard time working out who the bride was? Because I'm guessing not. I would try and hold on to that perspective so that you don't fall out of love with your wedding photos. If you really can't stand them, an alternative is to get her outfit coloured by a photo editor. (But I would expect that to cause drama if she ever sees them or gets told about it by someone else. It also means it's a less "true" depiction of the day, which you or DH might not really want.)

But I certainly think it would be wise to be a little wary of SiL and not take her friendship or civility at face value.

Well obviously no one writes in the invitations 'we request that guests don't wear white'.

Hitched? A daft website Some made up fluff to sell bridal shit to profligate spenders for then spesh day

I've just asked my husband if he's aware of this unwritten rule and even he knows this is a no no.

No one had rules guests about wearing white

No one has to say it because it’s an unwritten rule! They don’t include it in the invitations!

I think in the past it was traditional for bridesmaids to wear white so the evil spirits did not know who the bride was.

Every day's a school day.

I'm sorry but it is definitely a thing.

princess of Wales’ dress was actually yellow

It was! A proper pastel lemon colour - it was lovely. Definitely not white!