Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

[Monkeynuts57]

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

YANBU, anyone with any grasp of any social norms/etiquette would never wear white or cream to someone else's wedding. However, she's just made herself look classless, please don't let her taint your memories of your wedding day.

This is such a funny thread!

I'll tell you the biggest 'upstage the bride' I ever saw was a wedding guest who arrived late in an amazing black little dress with an enormous feathers galore thing going on all on the top half like a ridiculous huge feather boa, and she also wore super cool sunglasses. I was like 'who the f* is that upstaging the bride???' (in a pretty unsubtle way - pretty sure a lot of people heard me). My friends were like 'shhhhhh!!!! it's Katie Melua!' She later sang a few songs at the reception which was amazing and the most amazing first dance song I've ever seen - so, fair enough, proper pop star.

YABU but where’s the poll?

YANBU, that is unbelievable. It’s a good idea about photoshopping it to be slightly blue or yellow.

I wore a cream dress and coat to DD’s wedding. It wasn’t what I bought but covid intervened and she got married in a totally different season.
Mil wore a cream suit to my wedding.
I think youngish brides in traditional wedding dresses are not in danger of being upstaged by someone much older in cream.
Anyway dd would have told me straight is she disapproved.

The jumpsuit doesn’t look at all bridal to me.

OP it is important to understand that many AIBU posters will just disagree with the OP because then they get the satisfaction of making someone feel like they are wrong and stupid. If they went the other way in the argument they wouldn’t be able to make anyone feel like that. In real life, we don’t often get to tell people they are wrong because everyone is too polite. These posters are just scratching an itch so don’t take it personally. It’s fascinating behaviour really.

If you had posted that you wore this to a wedding you would be torn apart by everyone! It’s so inappropriate.

Where I live it's absolutely known not to wear white to weddings unless you are the bride. The non broadsheet press seem very aware of the tradition too, see the glamour magazine article from 2019 attached and with many a sad face bride story reported on a slow news day for the Mail/sun/mirror/ (not a suggestion of course op!) going back decades. I think I remember it being a subject of a eastenders plot in the 90s too.

Heaven help us! This is the definition of a first world problem. But go on, fall out with SIL, why don't you

This.

TheBucketWoman I really hope you're being sarcastic. Honestly I despair of this attitude, of weddings being 'the bride's day' or limelight, it's a commitment to love and hoping the people you invite to witness this event will support your marriage through difficult times and share your joy in the good times. I couldn't care less what anyone wore to my wedding, I wouldn't have minded if someone had got engaged or made a baby announcement, two more joyous events! I was utterly thrilled to be marrying my husband, and happy to be surrounded by family and friends.

I mean it is a bit weird on her part choosing white and not seeing anything wrong with it but also really isn't that important. As others said, it's literally just a jumpsuit hardly going to outshine the bride. Would be better if it was in a different colour but not too bad tbh

Don't think OP said it's a third world problem. It's a discussion.

I'd love to know how many posters who think OP is being unreasonable would actually dare to wear white/cream to a wedding.

There’s usually huge uproar when people post unsuitable wedding guest dresses on here so I’m surprised at how much “YABU, get over it” there is on this thread.

YANBU, it’s not difficult to not wear white to a wedding!

First World problem even.

Yet if the OP had posted asking if it was suitable for her to wear to a wedding, everyone would have said no. Not nicely either. It's a funny place mumsnet. Only oddballs wears an all white or cream outfit to a wedding. Everyone knows it too.

Because it's already happened. We can't stop SIL wearing it. So now it's about managing OP's emotions.

And focusing on SIL's outfit rather than her own wedding is ridiculous, far more ridiculous than wearing cream.

Totally out of order wearing white or cream and anyone who does is a total wank. Take it shes annoyed not to of been asked to be bridesmaid and this was a dig? There's so many other colours you can wear its totally unnecessary.

Only in Wolverhampton. It spread from there.

It’s not worth getting bent out of shape about - yes it’s cream, but it’s also a jumpsuit so she doesn’t look anything like a bride. It’s not idea, but it’s not awful either.

It wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s a jumpsuit.

I’d never heard of the no white/cream rule until going on MN.
I mean an actual long flowing white/cream gown would obviously be wrong / look stupid.

But a white jumpsuit, cream two piece, they’re just clothes.

It is rude and disrespectful to wear that kind of outfit as a guest to a wedding. I only recently discovered that not everyone understood this.

Is it a class/culture/region/background difference that make some people think it is ok and some people think it’s not?

Yes they would.

But the OP isn’t asking if her sister in law has broken a social rule - she’s asking if she’s being unreasonable to be upset.

She is being unreasonable to be upset because it’s a jump suit, it doesn’t look bridal, it is not worth a family drama. The OP can, as a PP pointed out, change the colour in the photos if she’s that bothered.

I wouldn’t worry, however I might keep it in the back of my mind that SIL might turn out to be a difficult character. Yes it’s done now, but that doesn’t mean OP should just forget it. I’d make a mental note of it and move on

Also this. This reflects far worse on her than it does on you, there will be plenty of people at the wedding who thought she was being an absolute twat and if you maintained your composure and held your head high, which I assume you did, then you are no worse off for her bad outfit choice.