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Aibu upset sil wore at our wedding

433 replies

Monkeynuts57 · 18/05/2023 19:54

We recently got married and we have just got our photos back and I felt upset and annoyed at what sil wore to our wedding and I thought it was odd but prepared to be told if I Abu , even though personally it’s not what I would choose for a wedding. it was cream basically same colour as my dress I feel upset and all photos will remind me of this.
I have attached a link of similar but not exactly the same outfit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

X Madison Romance Bow One-Shoulder Jumpsuit

X Madison Romance Bow One-Shoulder Jumpsuit

https://m-uk.cupshe.com/products/romance-bow-one-shoulder-jumpsuit?gbraid=0AAAAABWndwb4E-ZBgd2rr4zFLwKsJ97QT&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncAdTT5MhokrQRyxiDNKHE2JbioCsaJs0hz4MFqyO60mag9C0evdEQaAqUEEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=UK-PMAX-Jumpsuits-20220921&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=%7B17157404823%7D_%7B%7D&variant=42306334949567

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 18/05/2023 22:54

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:48

But so what, though?

If people are going to look askance at anyone, it will be the guest wearing white.

They’ll be the person people will be judging. Not the bride. So…. Confused

Doesn’t mean the bride isn’t allowed to be hurt by the pointed (in the cases of the ones I aforementioned) actions of a woman into whose family they are joining.

Yes, the women at the weddings I went to looked mental, the sister is a very, very sloppy drunk too, l prone to flirting with other people’s partners/husbands, which didn’t help, but the brides were both affected by their attempts to make them look foolish. Even though they didn’t. The groom’s mother was trying to provoke a reaction so she could play the victim, it’s a bit of a tactic of hers, but the bride was class personified.

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:55

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 18/05/2023 22:54

Doesn’t mean the bride isn’t allowed to be hurt by the pointed (in the cases of the ones I aforementioned) actions of a woman into whose family they are joining.

Yes, the women at the weddings I went to looked mental, the sister is a very, very sloppy drunk too, l prone to flirting with other people’s partners/husbands, which didn’t help, but the brides were both affected by their attempts to make them look foolish. Even though they didn’t. The groom’s mother was trying to provoke a reaction so she could play the victim, it’s a bit of a tactic of hers, but the bride was class personified.

But why would you be ‘hurt’ by that….?

VWHoliday · 18/05/2023 22:55

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:53

But again - what does it matter?

NOBODY steals focus from the bride on her wedding day. But if they do, it’s ONLY for negative reasons. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But seriously - people who need everyone to be focused on Queen Me need to grow up.

Well they would have spoilt the photos.

The Bride and Groom should be centre of attention.

WishingMyLifeAway · 18/05/2023 22:55

"Get the photographer to tint her outfit so it looks pastel pink or blue."

This is a really great idea!

Do this OP then you'll be able to look at your wedding photos without feeling a little annoyed!

reesewithoutaspoon · 18/05/2023 22:56

It's a nice outfit but yeah I would have steered clear, only because a pale outfit like that draws the eye in photos and takes the focus off the bride and groom in the pictures, so it's a bit naff to do that.

mommatoone · 18/05/2023 22:56

Did you marry the love of your life?
Have a lovely day with the people that mean the most to you?
If- yes, then i couldn't get worked up about this! Im sorry OP but there are women that will never see their wedding day . Be thankful. Its just an oufit.

HappiDaze · 18/05/2023 22:56

Everyone knows not to wear white or cream to a wedding. Everyone.

She's a dick and everyone else there would have thought the same. The only redeeming part is that it was a jumpsuit.

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:57

VWHoliday · 18/05/2023 22:55

Well they would have spoilt the photos.

The Bride and Groom should be centre of attention.

Spoilt the photos…! Grin

Some of these replies are hilarious!

Can you imagine men having this discussion?

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:58

HappiDaze · 18/05/2023 22:56

Everyone knows not to wear white or cream to a wedding. Everyone.

She's a dick and everyone else there would have thought the same. The only redeeming part is that it was a jumpsuit.

Exactly.

She’s the dick. Not the bride.

So what does it matter?!

SusannaQ · 18/05/2023 23:00

I really don't see the issue. It doesn't even look vaguely bridal. Apparently I offended people by wearing a black jumpsuit to a wedding. I honestly didn't realise no black was a thing, I don't do dressing up, so just have the rule of black for posh, jeans for everything else, I was really pushing my comfort zone with a jumpsuit!
It's all madness, I didn't care what anyone wore to my wedding.

VWHoliday · 18/05/2023 23:00

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 22:57

Spoilt the photos…! Grin

Some of these replies are hilarious!

Can you imagine men having this discussion?

If everyone was in white and then ONE person turned up looking like Kermit The Frog it would have looked odd.

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/05/2023 23:07

HappiDaze · 18/05/2023 22:56

Everyone knows not to wear white or cream to a wedding. Everyone.

She's a dick and everyone else there would have thought the same. The only redeeming part is that it was a jumpsuit.

I think multiple posters, and many post have reiterated it’s not a universal rule
Everyone doesn’t know. Everything doesn’t adhere

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 23:08

VWHoliday · 18/05/2023 23:00

If everyone was in white and then ONE person turned up looking like Kermit The Frog it would have looked odd.

OK. But in the grand scheme of things (marrying the love of your life and beginning your life together), it doesn’t actually matter!

porridgeisbae · 18/05/2023 23:12

Seems wrong of her to me OP, like she was trying to steal your wind.

MrsMiddleMother · 18/05/2023 23:16

Yanbu and I would have been furious but don't give it anymore head space

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/05/2023 23:16

porridgeisbae · 18/05/2023 23:12

Seems wrong of her to me OP, like she was trying to steal your wind.

like she was trying to steal your wind? What’s that actually mean,is it woohoo spiritual? Hey don’t steal my wind sister, it’s wrong to cover another goddess’s wind

SargentSagittarius · 18/05/2023 23:18

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/05/2023 23:16

like she was trying to steal your wind? What’s that actually mean,is it woohoo spiritual? Hey don’t steal my wind sister, it’s wrong to cover another goddess’s wind

Ooh, you leaf-blower!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/05/2023 23:23

The whole idea of not wearing white comes from the fashion, started by Queen Victoria, of wearing a white gown to get married in. It showed that you could afford a new, impractical, dress to wear once. Usually women just wore their best dress, whatever colour that may have been.

But a lot of women couldnt afford an extravagant wedding dress so wore a more ordinary outfit in white. If another guest also wore white then there could easily be confusion. My grandmother married in 1939 and wore a white suit, my other grandmother married a few years later and wore a wartime version of the same outfit. So yes, then I could understand it.

But now with most brides wearing proper bridal gowns, it hardly like anyone will mistake the woman in an off the shoulder jumpsuit with a bride in full frock and veil! Seems a bit silly to get so upset over it to me. I mean lets face it, all of your guests have been invited by you or your (now) husband. Even if one of the guests hasnt met you, say his cousins plus one, the fact that you are in a wedding dress saying the vows, cutting the cake and standing in the middle of all the photos means that there really isnt much room for confusion!

Only exceptions I would understand would be low key or destination weddings and then it would be perfectly understandable for the bride to say "I will not be wearing tradition bridal attire so please avoid white/ivory/cream".

porridgeisbae · 18/05/2023 23:23

It's from Friends silly (not that I'm particularly a fan of it.) Same as 'steal your thunder' I guess.

The bride should be the star on her wedding day. Someone wearing the same colour can be distracting maybe (if they look as good as the woman in the photo shown via the link.)

ontheplayground · 18/05/2023 23:24

If you have her outfit tinted a different colour in the photos, and she asks you about it, just say "Oh yes, people were making mean comments about it, and I didn't want anyone saying things like that about you." If she asks why, then you can explain that wearing an all-white outfit to a wedding is considered rude. So you tinted the photos to save her the embarrassment of having people seeing her faux pas for years to come.

Covers the situation whether she was being malicious or just really clueless.

TeenLifeMum · 18/05/2023 23:29

@Mirabai there’s lots of articles that state the bright sunlight made it look lighter and inside the church it was yellow.

The official description was:
Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge will be wearing a primrose yellow wool silk tailored coat by Alexander McQueen.

Although I think her team could have predicted how it might look. Maybe the future Queen can were whatever she likes though? And Royal bridesmaids tend to wear white. Maybe there’s different rules for the very very posh 😂

bridgetreilly · 18/05/2023 23:31

We can’t possibly know her intentions behind this. It’s just possible that it was passive aggressive upstaging, but it’s equally possible she thought a jumpsuit was completely fine to wear. Either way, it’s done now and only you can decide if it’s really worth spoiling future family relationships over. Take the high ground and ignore, would be my advice.

trickybossmbe · 18/05/2023 23:32

Was she wearing this with a veil and carrying a bouquet? If not, you need to stop being so ridiculous.

Not wearing white or cream as a guest to a wedding is not an unwritten rule, neither is it a universal thing. It's only a thing on MN which in itself tells you everything you need to know.

RaininginDarling · 18/05/2023 23:40

I'm amazed at the number of comments saying 'but it's a jumpsuit' as if every bride is wearing a massive white frock.

Bridal jumpsuits are very much a thing and was my first choice of outfit.

It's utterly tacky and narcissistic to wear white to someone else's wedding unless you know it won't be an issue for that particular bride. I mean, why risk being a dick to someone else cos you'd be okay with it if it was your wedding? 🙄

JeanRondeausMadHair · 18/05/2023 23:40

It's really not just a Mumsnet thing. I knew about it decades ago, in a different country.