Losing weight is the ONLY way to look good :(

[Mrcpy]

I’d describe myself as fairly style-conscious, I’m into skincare and beauty, health and well-being, and I know how to put together a polished outfit.

Sadly I’m coming to the realisation that I never feel as good - no matter how much effort I’ve put into the above - I NEVER feel as good as I feel when I’ve lost weight.

When I’ve lost weight, it doesn’t matter what I wear. I could be completely casual but still feel like I look amazing. When I’ve gained weight, it doesn’t matter what I wear. I could be in the best clothes / designer bag / jewellery but still feel scruffy.

I had a severe eating disorder in my teens and twenties, and I feel sad that it’s still with me in some way. For context, I’m late 30’s, and BMI fluctuates between 23-26 so nothing dramatic. Have a good job, family etc so I know there’s more to life.

Just feel sad really.

[CherryPosset]

And quit saying meno makes people fatter, it doesn't. It can redistribute weight differently but on it's own does 'cause' not pile weight on. This type of misinformation is demotivating for those who wish to get into a healthy weight category. Perhaps it is easier to believe this, but it would be a cold kind of comfort.
Every nutrition related thread jumps on any woman over 36 as being 'peri meno'.
It might come as new to some, but gaining weight at any age usually has other causes.

[ScreenPrinting]

i know exactly what the OP is saying; actually apart from the fact I am late 40s rather than 30s I could have written the post word for word.

I lost about half a stone through stress last spring and thought it was a HIDEOUS time the unexpected upside of it was that I looked fab in summer clothes!!!

this year I have regained the weight and everything I looked (and felt) amazing wearing last summer now looks dreadful. It all still fits ok but I feel and look heavy and lumpy in it.

I am wearing a few of the sack-type dresses I own until I have lost some of the weight again; I feel just about ok if I have a loose sack dress that hides the flabby bits (tummy) but all my lovely bias-cut and shirt dresses will have to wait.

i have also noticed that when I’m slimmer I LOVE wearing trousers, I feel so stylish and elegant in them. Half a stone heavier and the same trousers feel frumpy and boring.

I too love clothes and style and even if other things are crap, I enjoy putting together an outfit I feel stylish in!! It’s rubbish when nothing feels or looks quite right because of your weight! Sack dresses are all very well but I’m not loving getting dressed…

[Aria999]

I agree with you - for me - but I think it depends on body shape and where you carry the weight.

It's true for some people and not others.

[GonnaGetGoingReturns]

@CherryPosset

There's something odd about this thread. It certainly isn't about not wanting to be overweight. It seems more about wanting to be underweight. I would go so far as to suggest most of the posts are quite disordered, or possess a good deal of self loathing.

I just put my info into the NHS BMI calculator and got this result (pic), at 18.4 it says I am underweight.
I am 5'4 tall and a very slight build. I look healthy and don't have any medical issues, but have tended to linger around 7.10 stone/8.2 all of my life, and I am now 49 yrs old.
8 stones seems to be my set point as i always end up there somehow.
I have also never dieted and most of my family are a similar build.

What I cant understand for the life of me is why so many people on this thread WANT to be at a BMI of 18.
I am already wary of bone loss in my future (I am in meno) and make sure that if I dip below 8 stone I will eat more protein and fat to get back up again. I also do a moderate amount of strength fitness and yoga a few days a week.

Unless suffering from a mental illness, I have no idea why so many women on MN would desire to be underweight.
Do I look better in clothes? No. Perhaps through the lens of self hatred someone might presume me to look better. I find most clothes to be cut badly and this translates at any weight. Clothes have won the race to the bottom and we accept this to keep the prices down. I still struggle whilst slim because I'd rather have meatier thighs, firmer breasts, olive skin, sleek hair. We are rarely, if ever, content in a world which love to separate women from their rmoney by inventing issues we can pay to fix!

I could understand this thread if people wanted to get into a healthy weight range, but on the whole that's not what it reveals. It reveals some seriously screwed up perceptions of self, flimsily masked by a 'concern' for health. This is one of the most disordered threads I have even seen on MN, and would advise anyone struggling with mental health issues or obesity to AVOID. This is not how mentally healthy people think.

Oh that’s interesting. I was a similar weight for a few years and certainly all of my teenage and early 20s years. It was only in my mid 20s that I got to 8 and 8.5 stone. When I was 17 I recall being at the doctors or hospital and I was told off for being under 7 stone, I think they thought I had an eating disorder which couldn’t have been further from the truth! The one thing I do remember is I ate proper meals, was active (hated sport though!) but I did sort of snack but burned it off, it was your typical schoolgirl snacks like crisps, chocolate, sweets, Ice Pops etc. I liked walking though and I don’t recall my parents driving me everywhere at all (they did sometimes). I was always doing something though whether it was swimming, ice rink disco (every weekend at one point) or walking down a very long high street or playing in the playground as a teenager before we got tired of childish games.

I’m the sort of person that though I exercised once a week and went clubbing and dancing a lot in my 20s so was never a gym bunny and also ate what I liked, rarely dieted. Again though I think I was fairly active, walked a lot, always out and about on weekend day times. I’m

I do see a few older women my height and shorter who are what I’d class as underweight. I do worry about their bone density and osteoarthritis. It’s slightly different with friends of my DM one who’s petite and line dances every other day and goes to the gym and another who’s very active but petite.

[JMAngel1]

@ScreenPrinting
I'm the same - it's easy to think, well it's only 7 pounds, but every excess pound makes a huge difference on my 5 foot 3 petite frame. I feel like I can't talk about weight with friends as they think I'm thin anyway but half a stone makes a big difference between wearing something because it hides weight or weari g what I really want to wear.

[BigPeople]

It’s sad so many of you feel this way.

I spend my daily commute in London people watching as I’m interested in fashion and I can honestly say re: the people who look good…it has NOTHING to do with their weight. There are people of all shapes and sizes who look good.

Style, confidence, comfort in your own skin are more attractive than being very thin.

[xJoy]

It's not "sad" imo, it's life. Although it is often effort, it's better to have enough food than too little but we need to remain connected to optimum health standards, despite the availability of food.

[FlightOfTheProcrastinator]

It’s the boobs for me. I hate them.

I feel I’ve got two options - dress them modestly and feel comfortable and look like a sack of spuds matron, or “make the most of them” and feel self-conscious and tarty, and have to deal with all the eyes on my chest all day.

It’s impossible to dress chic with these things.

[SallyWD]

@BigPeople

It’s sad so many of you feel this way.

I spend my daily commute in London people watching as I’m interested in fashion and I can honestly say re: the people who look good…it has NOTHING to do with their weight. There are people of all shapes and sizes who look good.

Style, confidence, comfort in your own skin are more attractive than being very thin.

Yes it's true that some heavier people look fabulous! I agree that attraction is related to style, confidence and personality too. However, I and many others really do so much better when we're slim. A lot of people (like me) just don't carry weight well and feel uncomfortable when we're overweight.

[Bookist]

It's true that some overweight people can look fabulous. But I guarantee if those same people lost weight they would look even more fabulous. My BMI is around 25 so I'm not overweight as such, but I have recently lost about 12lbs and suddenly I can wear what I actually want to wear, rather than dressing to disguise. My cheekbones have reappeared too.

[TrinaLowsln]

@Bookist

It's true that some overweight people can look fabulous. But I guarantee if those same people lost weight they would look even more fabulous. My BMI is around 25 so I'm not overweight as such, but I have recently lost about 12lbs and suddenly I can wear what I actually want to wear, rather than dressing to disguise. My cheekbones have reappeared too.

I don't think that's necessarily true. I know someone who recently went from a size 12-14 to a size 8 and honestly I think she looked better before - her cheeks are hollow now, she doesn't look right.

I hover around a size 12 and I'm within healthy BMI but at the top end. I did a low carb diet a few years back and lost a stone and a half and it didn't suit me. I look better with some meat on my bones.

[YouJustDoYou]

Speaking in regards to myself, I absolutely agree. I look awful fat and overweight. My smile doesn't reach my eyes. I don't feel good, and I don't look good.

[ItsOnlyMeNow]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12217661/As-Sharon-Osbourne-joins-Hollywoods-skinny-club-look-stars-whove-slim-downed.html Not so sure about this!

[TheaBrandt]

My teen at 5 8 and slim looks fantastic in everything. It’s a sad truth op!

[ItsOnlyMeNow]

Didn't we all though when we were teenagers and weighing 7 stone? The skin tone of youngsters too is something that sadly slips as you age. I was on holiday a month or so back and looking at the young things in their bikinis and the older women who have aged, had babies etc. It's part of life.

[Mercurial123]

@TheaBrandt

My teen at 5 8 and slim looks fantastic in everything. It’s a sad truth op!

Yes, but you can't compare a teenager to a woman in their 30's?

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

Fellow ED survivor here. Sorry to but an 18.5 BMI is dangerous and not healthy for anyone. I won't divulge my own numbers because I don't find it helpful but the normalising and glamourising of ED behaviour and goals on here is sick. I nearly died on two occasions, needed IVF for my DCs.