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Style & Beauty

Losing weight is the ONLY way to look good :(

174 replies

Mrcpy · 18/03/2023 17:01

I’d describe myself as fairly style-conscious, I’m into skincare and beauty, health and well-being, and I know how to put together a polished outfit.

Sadly I’m coming to the realisation that I never feel as good - no matter how much effort I’ve put into the above - I NEVER feel as good as I feel when I’ve lost weight.

When I’ve lost weight, it doesn’t matter what I wear. I could be completely casual but still feel like I look amazing. When I’ve gained weight, it doesn’t matter what I wear. I could be in the best clothes / designer bag / jewellery but still feel scruffy.

I had a severe eating disorder in my teens and twenties, and I feel sad that it’s still with me in some way. For context, I’m late 30’s, and BMI fluctuates between 23-26 so nothing dramatic. Have a good job, family etc so I know there’s more to life.

Just feel sad really.

OP posts:
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TheOGCCL · 19/03/2023 12:03

I have to agree too. My weight all goes on my bust and stomach and immediately things don’t hang as well and I look a bit pregnant (the rest of me stays slim including arse and thighs) but the next size up in clothing swamps me. I’m in a bind now as losing too much weight shows on my face so I have to tread such a fine line.

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Hbh17 · 19/03/2023 12:08

Very sad to read this, and that so many people agree. Weight has nothing to do with whether we look good or not. OP, I think that this might be your eating disorder "speaking", I'm sorry to say.

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Usernamen · 19/03/2023 12:12

I can’t remember if I already posted on this thread, but I’m the same as PP with the round/fat face. I have to keep to a size 6-8 just to look normal and have any definition on my face.

So while I agree with the OP that clothes look much better when one is skinny, it’s not the main motivation to stay skinny for those of us who have a naturally fat face.

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birdshavingabath · 19/03/2023 12:48

@Hbh17 i think the vast majority of people would disagree with you on the notion that being overweight doesn't make a difference to how we look. It is a fundamentally unhealthy state for our bodies. No wonder the vast majority of people look much better at a healthy weight. This notion that it's all about eating disorders is patently false. Yes there are some lucky people who look good carrying extra weight. That's simply not the case for the vast majority. everyone else. I'm not saying super skinny or underweight is a suitable alternative. I am talking about being a healthy weight.

People need to stop labelling wanting to be a healthy weight as an "eating disorder". It's complete bollocks designed to make people feel better about being overweight due to the fact so many in or society are overweight.

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THisbackwithavengeance · 19/03/2023 13:02

Being slim looks much better than being fat. It's obvious. Some women carry weight better than others but no one is going to argue that a size 22 woman looks better than a size 10 woman unless the bigger woman is exceptionally beautiful and well dressed. Particularly nowadays when even the most mediocre looking women can transform her face with decent make up and straighten her hair easily etc.

But a lot of women on this thread are arguing black's white that they don't look good at <low BMI> and they need to be <even lower BMI> to look anywhere near acceptable.

I think that's where the eating disorder accusations have come in.

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memyselfi · 19/03/2023 13:04

I totally agree , it's vital.
Being fat ruins everything. Nice hair , makeup and good clothes can't disguise it.

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mrsfennel · 19/03/2023 13:06

I completely disagree, surely having nice hair and a lovely smile counts for much more than being slim/skinny?

I can think of so many women I see online and in real life that look strong and in proportion with lovely healthy hair who are really attractive.

Being skinny with no shape and horrible teeth etc isn't attractive

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RudsyFarmer · 19/03/2023 13:16

Agreed. I love my life but I hate my weight ☹️

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Lastnamedidntstick · 19/03/2023 13:20

mrsfennel · 19/03/2023 13:06

I completely disagree, surely having nice hair and a lovely smile counts for much more than being slim/skinny?

I can think of so many women I see online and in real life that look strong and in proportion with lovely healthy hair who are really attractive.

Being skinny with no shape and horrible teeth etc isn't attractive

So what if you don’t have “lovely healthy hair” or can’t afford the 💷💷💷💷💷💷 to get your teeth fixed?

bit unfair to judge people on things they can do nothing about.

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HeavyHeidi · 19/03/2023 13:21

I completely disagree, surely having nice hair and a lovely smile counts for much more than being slim/skinny?

Luckily I have shit hair as well. We are not comparing ourselves with random other women who might look better even when bigger. I'm comparing a slimmer and fatter version of myself. Hair and teeth remain the same.

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Enthrallingstoryofstillnessandlight · 19/03/2023 13:25

Hbh17 · 19/03/2023 12:08

Very sad to read this, and that so many people agree. Weight has nothing to do with whether we look good or not. OP, I think that this might be your eating disorder "speaking", I'm sorry to say.

Oh fgs stop it. Why do people have to have 'disordered eating' to think most people look better slim than fat? It's just a fact.

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HeavyHeidi · 19/03/2023 13:29

have often longed to be more, how can I put it....athletic, or well built. I do yoga and some strength stuff, but I can't much change my basic shape,

You can absolutely change your shape and look more athletic, if you start lifitng proper weights. You need to build muscle and yoga is not really that efficient for this.

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Theredjellybean · 19/03/2023 13:31

Completely agree..
I am menopausal and the change in body shape has devastating effect on how I feel about my body
Interestingly I weigh the same as three yrs ago but my shape is different and my lovely fitted clothes now just bulge and have rolls and I hate everything I wear.
I don't want to move to shapeless wafty tunics and interesting scarves...I'm not that person.

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TheePorts · 19/03/2023 13:34

So what if you don’t have “lovely healthy hair” or can’t afford the 💷💷💷💷💷💷 to get your teeth fixed?

bit unfair to judge people on things they can do nothing about.



Some people cannot help their weight. There's medical conditions that make losing/gaining weight harder. It's not always a lifestyle choice but people seem to think weight is fair game so why isn't everything else?

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Lastnamedidntstick · 19/03/2023 13:37

TheePorts · 19/03/2023 13:34

So what if you don’t have “lovely healthy hair” or can’t afford the 💷💷💷💷💷💷 to get your teeth fixed?

bit unfair to judge people on things they can do nothing about.



Some people cannot help their weight. There's medical conditions that make losing/gaining weight harder. It's not always a lifestyle choice but people seem to think weight is fair game so why isn't everything else?

That’s not what this thread is about though.

no one is judging others weight.

posters are saying they feel better thinner, and feel that they look better thinner.

whether they actually do or not is a different question.

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Harryisabollock · 19/03/2023 13:39

Having started this year a 16 and now trying to get from a 12 into a 10 I have to agree - I've been ironing all my pre-weight gain office suits and am amazed how I used to just stride around in a 8 or 10 and feel on top of the world - 100% confident and comfortable. Everything fitted easily and could sling on a scruffy t shirt and look good. Being overweight is crap - health and confidence wise!

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Bellagio40 · 19/03/2023 14:03

100% agree, OP

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Zooeyzo · 19/03/2023 14:17

It's true OP. Slim people can wear most things and look good but when you are overweight you're always trying to hide disguise bits and you end up spending a lot and still don't look or feel as good.

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Zooeyzo · 19/03/2023 14:17

@Harryisabollock absolutely agree

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mrsfennel · 19/03/2023 14:18

@Lastnamedidntstick sorry that came across wrong, your right it did sound judgy.

I meant that just because you are slim doesn't equal attractive.

So many women who have fuller figures are more attractive than some slim/skinny women.

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mrsfennel · 19/03/2023 14:21

@HeavyHeidi ahh ok, apologies. That makes more sense when you say you are comparing yourself to a slimmer version.

For what its worth my hair is shit too! Peri menopause has only made it even worse.

Im not overweight but definitely not skinny, I really like my figure though as im in proportion and get a lot of compliments on it.

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Havanaclubber · 19/03/2023 14:24

Regretfully, I agree. That said, when women are overweight but retain an hourglass without the bulging belly then well chosen clothes can look really good. I’m think of Ashleigh Graham’s shape

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Inject · 19/03/2023 14:59

A lot of people are in denial or believe the hype that fat, over weight looks good. It never does. The plus size models do not look good. I've put on half a stone and it does not look good.

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eldorado02 · 19/03/2023 15:09

If anyone wants a visual example of this, look up Phoebe Court (thefeebsfeed) on Instagram. How she looks now compared to much slimmer is the embodiment of a person who looks better with less weight. She seems such a nice lady, so I hate to insult her, but it’s undeniable she looks better slimmer. More elegant and put together and, dare I say it, classier?

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Usernamen · 19/03/2023 15:17

Inject · 19/03/2023 14:59

A lot of people are in denial or believe the hype that fat, over weight looks good. It never does. The plus size models do not look good. I've put on half a stone and it does not look good.

There’s also a lot of comparing apples with oranges going on in this thread. A well-groomed plus size model vs a skinny meth addict with bad teeth, or whatever.


The size 22 woman with a dazzling smile and great hair would look better if she were a healthy weight. That’s the point.

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