Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

Going grey gracefully (or at least without looking like I've just parked my broomstick)

180 replies

whokilledlizandseb · 18/11/2022 12:04

Im 49 and I've dyed my hair dark brown or red since I was 16.

It's coming through fully grey and has been for a while now. I'm thinking of embracing it.

However how to do it without looking awful while it grows out? It's thick and wavy, currently shoulder length.

I don't want to wear a hat for months- they don't suit me anyway!

Help?!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
CambsAlways · 04/03/2023 16:42

I find that a very weird comment that someone put grey hair rarely looks good! I beg to differ, grey hair looks amazing with a funky cut Bob or otherwise I’m growing mine out and loving the colour coming through and mines dark brown, with silver appearing, I’m going cold Turkey and letting it appear and so excited every month a bit more appears lol,

LarkRize · 04/03/2023 18:16

I agree with everyone who has said grey hair can look stunning. I have a friend who went grey very young and she looks incredibly glamorous and sophisticated. Equally I have older friends still determinedly dyeing in their 70s and it really doesn’t suit their skin any more and looks so unnatural.

I am sure there are brilliant dye jobs which look good but I am embracing the grey - I honestly think a good cut and hair in great condition is way more important than colour, and over dyed hair looks so flat and dead…

TreesAtSea · 04/03/2023 18:55

CambsAlways · 04/03/2023 16:42

I find that a very weird comment that someone put grey hair rarely looks good! I beg to differ, grey hair looks amazing with a funky cut Bob or otherwise I’m growing mine out and loving the colour coming through and mines dark brown, with silver appearing, I’m going cold Turkey and letting it appear and so excited every month a bit more appears lol,

Agreed. I started growing out my grey almost 18 months ago, having dyed it my original dark brown for 25 years. All that's left now is a brownish tinge on the ends at the back. Glad you're excited by the regrowth! I went cold turkey too and took photos every couple of months to track my progress...

journeyofsanity · 04/03/2023 18:57

thehorsehasnowbolted · 18/11/2022 18:15

I hate to say this, but grey hair is rarely a good look. Very few women can pull it off. I can understand if someone is allergic to dyes, etc, but otherwise, no, I wouldn't do it

Ha! Such an outdated opinion. So many stunning grey haired women around now

journeyofsanity · 04/03/2023 19:01

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 19/11/2022 09:00

Grey hair is very aging it will take years off if you colour it

Fake looking dyed hair is more aging than grey hair

TrombonesAreNotBones · 04/03/2023 19:58

thehorsehasnowbolted · 22/11/2022 18:30

Either a man or a hairdresser or an insecure panicked woman who is ageing badly and desperately hoping that by dyeing their hair, people will think they are younger than they are. They won't. It fools no one

Ok, you are incredibly venomous so I'll just say what I think (aka my opinion)

I don't think grey hair makes someone look particularly older. But most middle aged women that I see with grey hair give off an unkempt 'earth mother' look. The hair is usually stringy, unflatteringly long and they wear thick headbands and look like they practice the 'no shampoo' routine.

Rather than 'silver and strong', they look like they cannot afford to dye their hair. Clothes and the general style need to be impeccable and look expensive to be able to pull off the look.

I would advise women with allergies to try henna, cassia, first before attempting to go grey

I repeat that there are exceptions and those who have posted here look lovely.

I am surprised you don't carry a rabbit's foot and a pomander to ward off these hordes of unkempt MIDDLE AGED WOMEN, aren't they discusting.

Mayhemmumma · 04/03/2023 20:05

I'm 39 and have been growing greys out for 2 years - I was sick of dying roots every two weeks and looking washed out. Now I have highlights once a year and it blends a bit more easily, purple shampoo helps.

I love my grey, I get more compliments now then ever about my hair.

ladygindiva · 04/03/2023 20:07

I'm 48 and had naturally very dark hair but when the grey became too much I started having blonde highlights. I'm now pretty much all blonde with a few dark streaks. It blends the Grey's so well, I'm delighted.

journeyofsanity · 04/03/2023 20:09

@thehorsehasnowbolted I don't think grey hair makes someone look particularly older. But most middle aged women that I see with grey hair give off an unkempt 'earth mother' look. The hair is usually stringy, unflatteringly long and they wear thick headbands and look like they practice the 'no shampoo' routine.
That they look bad has nothing to do with the colour of their hair. If they dyed their hair you can be sure it would look crap too.

ClosedAuraOpenMind · 04/03/2023 20:22

this is my grey hair / I don't think it is stringy or gives off 'earth mother' vibes

Going grey gracefully (or at least without looking like I've just parked my broomstick)
CambsAlways · 04/03/2023 21:06

TreesatSea that’s what I’m doing taking photos. Mines only been 12 weeks so not long

CrotchetyQuaver · 05/03/2023 00:27

I transitioned to grey by getting a short cut (shorter than I would choose normally) then letting it grow again. Post lockdown it's now a shoulder length bob. Also the best condition it's been in for years. My hairdresser raves about the range of colours in it.

I feel a bit sorry for the women with badly dyed poor condition hair which no longer suits their skin tone and think they'd probably look way better for lightening it/going natural.

NatashaDancing · 05/03/2023 01:25

RosesAndHellebores · 19/11/2022 12:52

I'd embrace the grey, if mine was a nice grey and evenly distributed. I am silvery at the front, it's a dirty grey further back and brown at the back. It looks bloody awful.

Therefore every six weeks my hairdresser puts in three shades of blonde highlights and puts on light brown in-between.

Plenty came through in lockdown. Even dh agreed I should go to the hairdresser ASAP.

I'm 62 and still work full-time in a demanding role. If I looked my age I wonder if I'd be taken as seriously.

I have remained a dark blonde/light brown hairstyle. The colour that was always an improvement on "natural rodent".

I'm the same.

I remember once when I was getting my roots done commenting to my hairdresser about how beautiful the dark silver bob another customer had. My hairdresser's comment was " do you think that's her natural colour - because it isn't"

NatashaDancing · 05/03/2023 01:31

pocketvenuss · 21/11/2022 20:27

Either a man or a hairdresser or an insecure panicked woman who is ageing badly and desperately hoping that by dyeing their hair, people will think they are younger than they are. They won't. It fools no one

Show quote history

What is "ageing badly"?

Needsomethingtoread · 05/03/2023 08:51

I’ve grown mine out so I have about 3/4 inches of natural colour which is grey/white streaks with random dark bits.

my hair dresser put some dark low lights and grey/white highlights through it to even it all up and it looks so nice now.

I really like it but I do condition it often and now have to blow dry it after washing when before I just left it. It is wavy though and goes frizzy if just left. I’ve been looking for a good curly spray to use but I’m waiting until summer to start trying them as as it’s too cold to leave it wet now.

Any recommendations for a good curly/scrunching spray for grey hair?

RosesAndHellebores · 05/03/2023 09:11

@ClosedAuraOpenMind your hair is lovely and if mine were going grey like that, I'd embrace it.

The thread has moved on and we are all a bit older. As I move towards retirement I think I'll try to phase it in. Perhaps the light brown can go in a fourth foil and after a year or so, I may drop a blonde foil.

Nannyfannybanny · 05/03/2023 09:40

Fabulous ladies on here! I had natural dark blond hair,I used to have lo lites, especially when it started going white at the front (never did grey,) this was quite late,60s. Oddly I have a cousin in her 90s she was auburn as was my late DM, she's never had a grey hair, never dyed it. I retired,then for various reasons, couldn't afford the hairdresser. Made big mistakes home dying in the past, not doing that route. Then we had lockdown, just went cold turkey. My skin has got a lot lighter... make up has been toned down. I don't wear light colours near my face anymore. I have a friend in her 50s,who has her hair dyed white,lives in grey,it does age her.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 05/03/2023 10:06

ClosedAuraOpenMind · 04/03/2023 20:22

this is my grey hair / I don't think it is stringy or gives off 'earth mother' vibes

Your hair is gorgeous!

Reddahlias · 05/03/2023 12:07

I hate to say this, but grey hair is rarely a good look. Very few women can pull it off. I can understand if someone is allergic to dyes, etc, but otherwise, no, I wouldn't do it

Of course hairdressers will tell you this Grin

diddl · 06/03/2023 13:24

I hate to say this, but grey hair is rarely a good look. Very few women can pull it off.

Their natural hair colour??

Undisclosedlocation · 06/03/2023 13:51

I started the transition last year after at least 25 years dyeing it. Initially I had it stripped of the dark brown and went ash blonde with a few darker highlights to better blend in the roots. Well that was the plan anyway but if I’m brutally honest, it’s been a variety of shades of unnatural yellow and orange ever since! (Hairdressers solution is always to put more/different dyes in it but NO MORE!
I’ve grown out a couple of inches so far and tomorrow I’m going to get as much as possible cut off and into a slick layered bob……wish me luck!

CambsAlways · 06/03/2023 16:34

I’ve been dying mine undisclosedlocation for 50 years been every colour under the sun but I’m going to have my first cut since growing in the greys in two weeks I’m really excited about it I do not want any colour as in full colour on my new found greys just a few slices of pink round front and possibly bit at sides, semi permanent, I want a layered Bob so I will be watching your post with interest

scryingeyes · 06/03/2023 16:39

MrsDooDaa · 18/11/2022 18:39

I love seeing grey hair on women!

I totally reconditioned myself on this so now when I see a woman with grey hair, the association is that they are strong, liberated women.

Omg, needed to read that today!
Am 51, gone gray since 2017 and I get mistaken for DH's mother.
Fuck them though as I'm not going back to colouring every 6 weeks!

Swiftbushome · 06/03/2023 17:48

I'm 45. Have totally grown out my grey (cold turkey!!) After colouring it since I was a teen. NOBODY ever commented on my hair when it was my original colour of dark brown / black. But now its salt and pepper and I've had 3 random strangers compliment me in the last few weeks. One lady literally shouted out to.me to ask where I get it coloured. I think she was quite surprised when I told her I don't.

NevieSticks · 06/03/2023 18:06

Silverparting · 20/11/2022 08:48

I'm 50 next year, but feel so much better with silver hair. It was the best decision I ever made. Like you, OP, I came onto MN 21 months ago to ask your question. The support encouraged me to never look back.

I'm attaching 2 pics. The first, my transition from dyed orange/brown to shorter silver, and now my current hair, with its natural wave.

Please tell me again how silver hair makes me look older (and even if it did, I am older than when I had naturally brown hair. So what?) Also, tell me how it only suits younger women please? Or how it looks 'witchy' (again, so what?)
There are so many outdated sexist and agesit stereotypes around grey hair. Some of them reflected on this thread!

Your hair looks great! Can I ask if you do nothing to it or if it has something done to it colour or tone wise by the hairdresser?