Going grey gracefully (or at least without looking like I've just parked my broomstick)

[whokilledlizandseb]

Im 49 and I've dyed my hair dark brown or red since I was 16.

It's coming through fully grey and has been for a while now. I'm thinking of embracing it.

However how to do it without looking awful while it grows out? It's thick and wavy, currently shoulder length.

I don't want to wear a hat for months- they don't suit me anyway!

Help?!

grey hair is what happens naturally to many of us. No reason at all to have to “hide” it. It’s like people who think you simply MUST hide pale skin underneath layers of fake tan. Utter nonsense.
I agree with pp who associates grey hair on women with strength and feeling liberated.

my hair is going grey very slowly, just sprinklings of it now, but I’m going with it. And I couldn’t care less if someone suggests it’s a “bad” look.

I started to go grey a couple of years ago. Freaked out initially but am now seriously contemplating a broomstick.

@Leafer You're lucky. It's easy to take the natural route of you are still at the "sprinkles growing in slowly" stage. When you are the white strip half way down your head stage it's harder to be so sanguine!

@Puppylucky maybe so! I won’t know for a while yet but I’ve certainly got no plans to return to a dye job. I hated my natural colour for years and years and when I finally started to accept it, then came the greys..:
I learned a lesson! And I’m feeling good about embracing what I’ve (currently) got

I agree with joining a few fb groups, you will not only get support, but lots of ideas of different ways to transition to grey hair. I had very dark hair, went to medium brown and then blonde. I really didn't suit the blonde and it damaged my hair and scalp (even though it was organic dye by my hairdresser), which made the decision for me to grow it out. Quite a few years later, it's very silver and down my back. I also get a lot of compliments.

John Freida Grey Defy shampoo and conditioner has been a game changer for me!

I disagree - I think a lot of dye jobs look terrible and you need to spend a fortune to keep dyed hair looking good. Well looked after grey looks better in many cases and there is definitely a tipping point for most women where dyed hair is more ageing.

I’ve seen enough shit highlights and blocky, unnatural colour to convince me that growing grey gracefully is the best option for me.

What a load of absolute bollocks, grey hair can look amazing. I get lots of compliments on mine.

Yes, it can look good on a small number of people. But I personally prefer it dyed in most cases

It becomes such high maintenance

I'm used to my natural colour now

Just go for it, the first month is the worst. I found but ponytails and superdrug brown. hair shampoo helped. Grey or white hair is amazing, much more flattering than flat, too dark for your complexion dyed hair. I often get complemented on mine, often by young women and strangely a lot of people assume it's a bottle job.

I think you are missing the point. Nobody gives a toss what you personally think about women being who and what they are. It is ridiculous to think that women don't age, or that ageing is a bad thing. Our "beauty" is not defined by male defined criteria about what is attractive. Men can go grey ("mature") or bald and that is considered a positive attribute. Only when I woman goes grey is it thought to indicate negative attributes around aging.

The OP wanted to know "how" not "whether".

Strong, female and SILVER....

I just let mine grow out without doing anything. My natural hair colour was almost black, but I started going grey in my early twenties. I kept dyeing it very dark, but by my early forties I was using a mid brown. When I decided to let it grow out (aged 53) it was mid brown and looked a bit shit for a while, but as the dye faded and the roots got longer, I kept being asked if the two tone look was deliberate. I found my hair going from frizzy to decent condition and I started doing a sort of curly girl method 'lite' thing (because following the CG method to the letter was too much like hard work!)

So I now have long wavy silver grey hair and have never had so many compliments. I don't seek compliments, believe me, as I'm quite introverted, but I'm not complaining! I love my hair now and especially love not having a big white stripe every fortnight. It would be great if more women would allow their natural grey to come through so that it becomes the norm. Wish I'd seen sense years ago.

I was ok because my hair was very short anyway so I just kept chopping at it until the bleach was all out.
On long hair I think it gets to the point where it looks like a grow out rather than needing your roots done. I think it can look quite cool at that stage too.
As pp have said check out FB and Instagram.

I’ve been grey for a while now and often get complimented on my hair colour. The secret is a really good hair cut.
when I stopped dyeing it I transitioned by first going lighter, then moved to semipermanents for a while before going a bit shorter to get the last out. If you’re having it professionally done your hairdresser can match colour to your own but I was too much of a cheapskate.
I use White Hot Hair system for hair care as it doesn’t cause yellowing.

Go short, dramatic change of style. Then grow it out. Don't bother with dyes, embrace the grey.

Just another saying it is bollocks that grey can't look good. Dyed hair often looks more ageing, it is the female equivalent of a comb over.

One important thing is to be clear who you are. I don't have a sharp haircut because I'm a pottery smock type of person. There are many ways to wear grey hair successfully - make sure it goes with the rest of you.

Strong Female and SILVER too

Nobody gives a toss what you personally think about women being who and what they are. It is ridiculous to think that women don't age, or that ageing is a bad thing. Our "beauty" is not defined by male defined criteria about what is attractive. Men can go grey ("mature") or bald and that is considered a positive attribute. Only when I woman goes grey is it thought to indicate negative attributes around aging.

The OP wanted to know "how" not "whether".

Strong, female and SILVER....

This is quite an aggressive response. I didn't realise that going grey was becoming some kind of statement and the cultish attitude is quite scary. I will bear it in mind

op I actually had a post on here a few moths back as I was so sad about my feet being frizzy etc, but am allergic to all hair dyes now and definitely don’t suit blonde.
I’m 45, and really felt I was ‘letting myself go’, but
I’m so glad I persevered with it now!
I’ve kept it regularly cut, and after trying lots of products, I’m using a smoothing shampoo and conditioner, and frizz ease product before drying, maybe a little serum after, and it feels so much better. The colour also suits me so much more than any of the ‘colours’ I’ve had in the past, I suppose because it’s the colour it’s meant to be?
It took a while, but I wouldn’t change it now, I feel my skin looks brighter and my eyes too.

Nobody gives a toss what you personally think about women being who and what they are.

I felt the same when I read all the unnecessary put-downs of women who prefer to dye their hair at whatever age. Such as:

I think a lot of dye jobs look terrible ... there is definitely a tipping point for most women where dyed hair is more ageing.

blocky, unnatural colour

Dyed hair looks ridiculous beyond a certain age

One of the best and most attractive heads of hair I ever saw was on a woman of 85 with a thick jet-black fringed bob.

Wait for summer, get it well-cut REALLY short (like a brush cut) and the natural colour will grow through really quick. If when it's half way there you look like a badger, give it a blast of bright pink temporary spray.

Wow thanks for all the advice!

Lots to think about!!

Unfortunately I think I'm a salt and pepper grey which might be hard to match, I'm also v nervous how much this will age me as most new people I meet think I'm in my thirties - though that could be because I had kids late so so they assume I'm younger.

I'm quite pale so I'm worried about becoming colourless too.

Tell us more please..? I tried an expensive grey defy shampoo and didn't think it did anything. I've got thick dark hair, with lots of grey coming through and I'm just going with it. But, keen for tips and tricks to keep condition good.

Any suggestions for good fb groups?

Grey hair is very aging it will take years off if you colour it