Going grey gracefully (or at least without looking like I've just parked my broomstick)

[whokilledlizandseb]

Im 49 and I've dyed my hair dark brown or red since I was 16.

It's coming through fully grey and has been for a while now. I'm thinking of embracing it.

However how to do it without looking awful while it grows out? It's thick and wavy, currently shoulder length.

I don't want to wear a hat for months- they don't suit me anyway!

Help?!

I’ve only used it about 4 times but it’s really blended all the grey around my hairline that was really aging me. It’s also left a lovely colour all over my hair. With an eyebrow tint too, I feel so much more like my old self!

I did have to have a rethink about make up. More bold lipsticks.

All those slating the one person who said they felt grey hair didn't suit most people and how awful it was have had no issue saying how dyed hair looks awful etc
Surely its each to their own and what suits them and what they are happy with , for some it will be to go all grey for another dyed
My nan still has a little bit of colour on hair at 89 as she doesn't like /suit her grey so has it an alternative kind of grey as that makes her feel better
My friend in her 40's has all grey now and is happy and likes it
So lets not put anyone down , its an individual choice

So you agree that the PP who said not to go grey didn't need to post on this thread? I think that's why the post got the response it did.

The OP didn't ask whether to go grey, but how to go grey.

No they ALL didn’t at all.

why do you have issue with the few posters who dislike dyed hair, when they were only giving their opinion because someone came on a thread about how to grow your grey out (not should people grow their grey out) and say they thought it looked bad on people?

It definitely is each to their own. I agree. So no need for people to tell someone not to?

But the people relying with a different opinion are the ones who are wrong?

I absolutely did not say any such thing. I was absolutely clear that it was a personal choice, bit that slamming people in the way that poster did was incorrect - grey is not and does not need to be "ageing", and nor is there anything wrong with "ageing". It was that poster putting others down that got her the deserved response she got.

I went cold turkey, had it cut fairly short (not cropped) and rode it out. My hair is pretty much white, and I wear it now in a chin length bob, blunt ends, and my top tip is purple shampoo, which makes a huge difference.

I'm not sure I understand the idea that women can't "carry off" their actual hair colour.

I find blusher is better than bold lipstick. I used to always wear red lipstick before masks but don't really bother now. I use a nice pinky cream blusher and Benefit Danelion powder because I'm very pale.

You need to rethink clothes colours as well with grey hair. I stick to white, black and jewel colours.

Oh yes, make up. I definitely go stronger now. I have dark but pretty sparse eyebrows and I use a gel thing for more definition.

I think it's because we've been so conditioned to keep our hair coloured

Mil colours hers but it looks ridiculous. Orangey blond on an 80 something is not great

Grombre UK/EU is my favourite
There's a few American ones, Going Graciously Gray and Silver Sisters.

I'm not sure I understand the idea that women can't "carry off" their actual hair colour.

Ikr!

Got to be better than the dyes that some women cling to!

It’s definitely social conditioning.

How often do you hear ‘many men can’t carry off grey hair and still look good’ or ‘grey hair is so ageing on men’ or ‘men shouldn’t grow their grey hair out. They should spend a lot of money and time hiding it, because I don’t think it looks good and ages them’

On Style and Beauty we always seem to get a range of opinions many of which weren't specially asked for in the title.

How many times on a botox or fillers or skincare thread does somebody pop in with 'I only use soap and water, the rest is toxic shite' type comments.
Dyeing your hair is a divisive thing for women, some people really see it as letting down the sisterhood or something.

It's an open forum, you're going to get lots of opinions, doesn't mean people shouldn't be allowed to post.

I can't shake the feeling that the poster who said most women can't carry off grey hair is either a man or a hairdresser.
I posted on a grey hair thread a couple of years ago where a man was on it earnestly trying to explain why men don't find grey hair and ageing attractive, as if they themselves don't go grey, bald and paunchy. The the replies from women were really quite memorable 😂

I liked my dyed hair and perhaps I did look younger but it was so high maintenance and the roots showed quickly and I dyed it in some way since my 20s

I was worried about my hair becoming thin and in bad condition from the dyeing process and my head itched. It never really covered my hair around the ears well

Lockdown was perfect to grow it out and I'm used to it now

What you prefer to see on others is irrelevant.
Do you also think everyone should have botox when they start having visible signs of ageing on their face? What about a boob job when they're not as perky as they were?

I'm not sure I understand the idea that women can't "carry off" their actual hair colour.

Perfectly put @TheFallenMadonna!

I think grey hair can look good on some women who are younger (20s/30s/40s), but I feel like you have to work harder on makeup, styling etc to make up for the grey (which is ridiculous I know, but I feel like it's true). You see these women on Insta who have amazing grey hair and look fantastic, but they always wear loads of makeup, particularly lipstick, and the hair is always styled really well. I feel like dyed hair can make up for relaxing on other elements a little bit!

Plus it almost always makes someone look significantly older. Whether that matters or not is obviously subjective, but it does tend to age women.

The one thing I have going for me is that I have quite good skin, and look younger than I am. Therefore I don't usually wear much makeup. I feel like if I let myself go grey then I will have lost that, and the young face won't mean anything!

That person got the comments they did, because in response to the OP asking how to grow her grey hair out, they effectively replied "Don't bother trying, because you'll look shit.".

I have got good skin for my age so I think even with the grey I have a youthful glow lol (in my imagination) 😀

Absolutely this.

It's just not possible that natural colour hair suits men but not women.

I can't believe, when I look at photos of myself from three or more years ago, how pale and washed out I looked with my hair dyed. With grey hair, my skin looks brighter and healthier. I know going grey isn't for everyone, but I love it. My SIL goes for mad, bright colours and looks so striking, but she admits the upkeep is getting harder. A stripe of brown hair looks ok when the roots grow out a bit, but from a distance a stripe of grey can look like a freakishly geometrical bald patch. Even if I hadn't received one positive comment, I would have stayed grey because I'm basically a lazy cow🤣

Also, it smacks of nothing but social conditioning when men are 'permitted' to age gracefully and women feel a need to fight the ageing process. I'm completely happy to look the age I am. My skeleton, my joints, my muscles, are all the same age as my face anyway!