Going grey gracefully (or at least without looking like I've just parked my broomstick)

[whokilledlizandseb]

Im 49 and I've dyed my hair dark brown or red since I was 16.

It's coming through fully grey and has been for a while now. I'm thinking of embracing it.

However how to do it without looking awful while it grows out? It's thick and wavy, currently shoulder length.

I don't want to wear a hat for months- they don't suit me anyway!

Help?!

Your hair is gorgeous

Thank you, Cats.

Thank you to the other posters too for your kind words (scrolling backwards, so only just saw your posts).

Some great advice on the thread. I'm grateful to those women on MN who helped me to decide to go for it.

@ofwarren Thank you

I have not slated anyone for what they do with their hair! My only comment on this thread was in relation to responses to the person who said the OP should not grow out her hair, because it never looks good. I have not made any comment about either dyed or undyed hair.

You look chuffing gorgeous ♥️

Absolute bollocks. Your opinion may be thus but please don't state it as if it's a fact. What's truly unattractive is harshly dyed hair. It doesn't fool anyone. You still look old

Not as ageing as obviously dyed hair on old women. Not only is that ageing but it's also a tad tragic looking.

Either a man or a hairdresser or an insecure panicked woman who is ageing badly and desperately hoping that by dyeing their hair, people will think they are younger than they are. They won't. It fools no one

Well said pocket

Sometimes the dark dyed hair highlights the lines whereas the natural colour is softer

You do you but enough with the sweeping statements that grey hair tends to make women look older. It may make YOU look older but so does obviously dyed hair

My hair would not look less aging if I dyed it .
My hair has been ravaged by my ill health this year and menopause has mae it go 'fluffy'
At the moment I'm nuturing and conditoning it .
If I dyed it I'd look like Kenn Dodd

It's all in the social conditioning, I agree. See a head of grey hair, and assume 'elderly'. Because for a couple of generations it's been the norm to dye hair. I love seeing women of all ages embrace the grey, though nothing at all wrong with choosing to dye at any age either.
I do feel sad at the notion that we are expected to battle to 'hide' ageing as if it's something to be ashamed of or feared. How about embracing diversity in all it's forms - including older women?
I don't see my greying hair as any kind of statement. I'm getting on with my life, grateful that everything still works, and not worrying a great deal about anybody's opinion on how I'm ageing. It's very freeing.
Some lovely silver hair photos on here and that before and after shot is amazing (sorry can't find it now to tag you)

Either a man or a hairdresser or an insecure panicked woman who is ageing badly and desperately hoping that by dyeing their hair, people will think they are younger than they are. They won't. It fools no one

Ok, you are incredibly venomous so I'll just say what I think (aka my opinion)

I don't think grey hair makes someone look particularly older. But most middle aged women that I see with grey hair give off an unkempt 'earth mother' look. The hair is usually stringy, unflatteringly long and they wear thick headbands and look like they practice the 'no shampoo' routine.

Rather than 'silver and strong', they look like they cannot afford to dye their hair. Clothes and the general style need to be impeccable and look expensive to be able to pull off the look.

I would advise women with allergies to try henna, cassia, first before attempting to go grey

I repeat that there are exceptions and those who have posted here look lovely.

I agree that grey hair can age some people, I say this as someone with long grey hair (my photos are on this thread if you care to look). Having said that I believe this is a false narrative because all things would be equal if no-one dyed their hair. I believe I don't look older than I am but I do look my age. People who dye their hair can very well look younger but.....that is only for the 5 days post dye. Orange toned hair with grey roots surely looks worse than natural hair.

Christine Lagarde, for instance. She looks stunning and I can't imagine her with dyed hair. But think of her overall style, it's spotless. It has nothing to do with trying to look younger.

Helen Mirren is another example.

But they are incredibly polished women. They don't look crunchy, hipster or give off the 'trying too hard to make a statement' vibe.

I think that it is confidence that pulls it off - not being swishy and polished or whatever.

LOL at going grey risking giving a "try-hard" vibe

Whilst also risking giving a ‘you let yourself go vibe’

Yes! We really can't win

Trying too hard to appear as if you don't give a toss about what others think is definitely a thing, Believe me

And what does that have to do with hair being grey?

You yourself posted most women you see with grey hair look ‘unkempt’ /can’t afford dye etc and yet also believe women with grey hair risk looking like they tried to hard.

Surely if MOST women you see with grey hair are unkempt. They also aren’t trying to hard.

Anyone can ‘try too hard’ to look a certain way. Not just women with grey hair.

I started going silver at thirteen years old.

I was completely silver by twenty-five, and was dying the fuck out of it until I decided to shave me head one summer at the age of thirty-five, because I didn't want to look like a badger.

Now it's just past me shoulders and i intend to grow it as long as possible and be a WITCH.

As I am not particularly fond of me own face, here is a pixelated edition of me hair:

It's fabulous! Such a lovely shade

Thaaaaaank you 🥹