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Original poster

Will people wear black tomorrow?

164 replies

MintyFinty · 08/09/2022 21:47

I work in a fairly traditional environment. Not sure if I should wear black tomorrow or not? What's everyone else doing?

OP posts:
CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 09/09/2022 08:13

I WFH but do a lot of video calls so I will wear a black top today but probably not for the whole period of mourning. It doesn't make much difference to me and is just a small sign of respect and compassion.

Xiaoxiong · 09/09/2022 08:23

I've got to go to a remembrance service this morning and then on to work - I don't have anything black that's clean so I am wearing dark navy shirt and jacket and grey needle cord trousers - other women here are wearing dark colours but not all black by any means.

silverclock222 · 09/09/2022 08:27

I had black trousers and a bright blue top picked out for today however I will change the top to white. Not particularly a fan of the RF but it's a minor sacrifice to be respectful.

DillDanding · 09/09/2022 08:30

Did the folks wearing black/dark colours do the same when their own family members died, apart from to the funeral?

Ethelswith · 09/09/2022 08:34

DillDanding · 09/09/2022 08:30

Did the folks wearing black/dark colours do the same when their own family members died, apart from to the funeral?

No, I don't think I did.

But yes I did when there was formal state mourning, because of the job I held.

Mourning of that kind is a ritual, not an expression of personal grief.

FourChimneys · 09/09/2022 08:41

DillDanding no, I have never worn mourning for parents or other relatives. My mother would have been horrified. We wore bright colours to her funeral.

CousinGregg · 09/09/2022 08:49

Surely only high rank civil servants?

angeIica · 09/09/2022 08:58

DillDanding · 09/09/2022 08:30

Did the folks wearing black/dark colours do the same when their own family members died, apart from to the funeral?

I'd say not.

Im finding this all incredibly mawkish and odd. Wouldn't go into mourning 'out of respect' (as this 'respect' keeps coming up) for a loved family member, but would do it for someone you really don't know.

If you're not some prominent high ranking civil servant or politician in the public eye, or similar, then it makes no sense.

HarleySq · 09/09/2022 09:02

CousinGregg · 09/09/2022 08:49

Surely only high rank civil servants?

No, CE of my LA has asked that as public servants, all employees are respectful in this period of national mourning, including through our clothing. Only health and safety to trump this.

DillDanding · 09/09/2022 09:02

If you're not some prominent high ranking civil servant or politician in the public eye, or similar, then it makes no sense.

I agree. It makes no sense. But then to me, nor does laying flowers onto a sea of cellophane, queuing to sign a book of condolence that no one will ever look at again or standing in line for hours on end to file past a coffin many metres away.

FredrikaPeri · 09/09/2022 09:03

🙄

JOFFCV · 09/09/2022 09:03

I've totally messed up (never crossed my mind). I've got a bright orange top on. It was the only thing that didn't need ironing and I was late getting up.

Chersfrozenface · 09/09/2022 09:12

I'm another one who only wore black after the death of a close relative (parents, uncles, aunts) at the actual funeral. Not for any extended period.

CoffeeWithCheese · 09/09/2022 09:13

I'm WFH today so I'm actually rocking pyjamas - but I'll probably cop out a bit next week and wear the optional uniform polos instead of my usual bright tops just to cover my own arse.

Delabruche · 09/09/2022 09:17

It's going to he like performative poppy-wearing, isn't it? I think if you work with the public in a place connected eith the Royal Family or government fair enough. Otherwise it should be down to the individual.

LINABE · 09/09/2022 09:18

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cherrysthename · 09/09/2022 09:20

LINABE so wearing black clothes is the be all and end all of respect? 😂

cherrysthename · 09/09/2022 09:21

I think latching on to someone's death to show off is what's disrespectful, as is telling people to fuck off

venus7 · 09/09/2022 09:27

Meltingsocks · 08/09/2022 21:58

Wow, doesn't that make you angry? Being told to grieve for someone you never met by your employer? Total infringement of personal freedoms

Show quote history

Wearing black doesn't mean one is grieving, or being told to grieve.
Grieving is an emotion; wearing black is a sign of respect.

saraclara · 09/09/2022 09:39

Seriously, in what way is it showing respect to wear black to work, or on the school run? The person who's died can't see you. Who is it that you think is looking at you and what do you expect them to get from you wearing it? Who is it that you are showing your respect to? It makes no sense.

This really is on a par with performative poppy wearing.

JOFFCV · 09/09/2022 09:42

Well in this bright orange top on I feel like people are going to assume I hate the Royal family. So I'm going to get changed at lunch as I've got to go shopping after work.

martinlily · 09/09/2022 09:47

Yes, black is the colour that always reflect the beauty.

Sparklybutold · 09/09/2022 09:54

No

napody · 09/09/2022 09:56

carefullycourageous · 08/09/2022 22:00

I wear quite plain & dark clothes anyway so will just carry on as normal, but I find it a bit oppressive that people feel they have to do this, given it is not something many people do for their own loved ones anymore.

I am actually a bit worried about how the next ten days will go, I don't want it to turn into a bloody performance with people getting arsey if someone wears a red coat.

This.
It'll be 'BBC Newsreader dared to wear white poppy' all over again. Let people react how they want to, she was widely respected and its actually a bit insulting to act as if people have to be forced to show respect.

Suedomin · 09/09/2022 09:58

What if you don't have any black clothes. Are yo expected to buy them? I didn't dress in black after close family died. It is ridiculous if people are made it wear it now.
And this isn't disrespectful. I had the greatest respect for the Queen and and recognise her death means the end of an era but the 24l7 constant national mourning is not healthy.