What do lesbians wear to weddings?

[Pluvia]

Enquiring on behalf of a lesbian friend who's doing my head in. In three weeks time she's attending a formal traditional wedding where most women will be doing the frock and fascinator number.

She's 5'1" and a size 6-8. She's very androgynous looking and won't wear a skirt or heels. Very pale skin and white-blonde hair in a pixie cut. She doesn't do wide trousers, patterns, animal prints, pussy bows or anything that hints at girliness. Likes fitted and sharp. She will wear pink and bright colours. The plan was to find a sharp ankle-grazing suit and wear a plain whit t-shirt and tennis shoes with it.

I'd thought that Hobbes or Whistles or any number of other places would have a neat little fitted trouser suit, or Chanel-style jacket, which she'd look fab in, but they only seem to do them in black, grey and navy for workwear. The current fashion is for long, wide-cut jackets. She's tried a couple in the high street stores and even their petite sizes drown her.

Any thoughts? Max budget is £200.

I think the point is more that it's not because she's gay she has this issue. What you wear is my standard wear and I struggle with weddings and I'm straight.

I don't think people are being homophonic - we weren't aware you are a lesbian too, so people were standing up for your friend.

You are completely right btw OP.
There wouldn’t be such uproar if the question was “what do tall women wear to weddings” or “what do women in their 50s wear to weddings”.

You/your friend presumably feel that being a lesbian has an influence on what you like to wear. So I don’t know why other women feel the desperate need to tell you that how you/ your friend like to dress has absolutely nothing to do with being a lesbian because they also like wearing suits.

Clothing doesn't make you homosexual.

You're not a lesbian, you haven't grown up as a second class citizen (we had fewer basic rights for decades, including employment protection and the right to legitimise our relationships). You have no idea how alien it can feel to be invited to an event which is likely to be 99% straight, with everyone performing the ultimate ritualised super-straightness, when you know that some people there would prefer you not to be there because they're homophobic.

Coming at it from a different angle, I think I might be tempted to blow most of the budget on a waistcoat and wear with very plain trousers and shirt. They go down to a UK size 6 but also do made to measure, although they say it takes 6-8 weeks so I'm not sure if there's time for that?
The men's waistcoats are even more fab - and they do made to measure too - but a bit over budget.

Wow: just bookmarked Shibumi: one of their long Nehru jackets would cover every formal occasion I can imagine. And yes, those waistcoats. Fabulous. Thank you.

The Hobbs suit in a size 6 (the smallest size) is far too large. The Shein suit hangs badly.

Off to the 12-14 year old boys' section, I think.

@Pluvia my wife is very petite and sometimes has luck in the children’s section. I know she often finds clothes from ASOS and Zara too. ASOS do more in the smaller sizes if I recall correctly. Hope she finds something soon.

I've not seen Shibumi in real life but it's often recommended on here - hope it works.

Regarding teenage boy's suits - I've looked at quite a few myself, especially the jackets, because I like the fit and because they don't have fussy details like women's jackets often do. Their main drawback is they tend to be in horrible school uniform fabric (the best one I found was that H&M one). They also don't have those fab inside pockets that you get with men's jackets. I've thought about buying a cheap one, taking it apart and getting it re-made in a better fabric, with inside pockets (or even of attempting it myself) but I don't know what that would cost plus you might not have time for that.

OP have a look at some promwear places.
About 4 of our girls in year 11 were in really cool suits at this years prom. The suits were from prom wear places in the womenswear offer as apparently more and more girls are wanting suits not dresses

I've forwarded that recommendation to her. Unfortunately the current fashion at ASOS is for oversize blazers and because she's so small she can't carry off that oversize boyfriend look.

Also try Roco clothing
Reasonable teenwear for formal occasions, they have some cool stuff!

@Pluvia oh dear sorry to hear that. That’s frustrating, as that style probably wouldn’t work as you say. Meant to say earlier that if you’ve got a decent tailor nearby, then that could make other brands an option too. My wife wears a size 4 or 6 at 5ft tall and we’ve had some suits taken in for her with great results (she’s got some nice altered Next and M&S petite suits that spring to mind). Appreciate this may not be appropriate for the wedding if a quick turnaround is needed, but something to think about for future formal events perhaps too or more generally. Don’t think she’s had to have any Zara stuff altered yet mind. I do sympathise, as we often struggle finding nice formal outfits for my wife.

Clothes?

Dungarees

Mango have a few cropped jackets in xxs at the moment. Could be paired with a plainer trouser.

DD has a beautiful tomato red linen cropped jacket and matching mini from Zara (last year). A lot is too long for her but this fits to perfect (5’1’’ and size 6/8).

What the absolute fuck is the matter with some people? This used to be the most helpful board I knew on Mumsnet.

I’d second getting something altered if it can be done in time. I use a seamstress who rarely needs more than a week. Clothes that fit well feel great.

Well said.

this thread is shameful.

What the absolute fuck is the matter with some people? This used to be the most helpful board I knew on Mumsnet

I know! This was my happy board but the horrible posters have started coming here from other boards. Always wanting to tell someone off for something, nit picking over word choice or the most horrible thing on other threads is when someone posts for help and the first post is "why on earth did you . ..." picking them up on something they've done rather than helping

@Pluvia sorry you’ve had so many crap responses, wtf is the matter with people? Those Shibumi waistcoats are stunning, I doubt I could take my eyes off an androgynous woman in one of those 😍, hope you find something gorgeous in time for the wedding.

I suspect Mumsnet and the tabloids are in need of a boost today!. This forum has really become the breeding ground of the lowest common denominator. It's sort of an embarrassment out there now to admit using it.

Good luck with your future MN, you really are rather encouraging this turgid, intolerant human waste (or your fake posts to boost ad revenue) to drag the site into a shit pit of obscurity. It's laughable at this point. It won't be long before anyone remotely literate runs a mile.

why is being a lesbian relevant to what clothes she will wear?

Have you read the thread and still not understood? Or did you just think you'd add to the people spreading general homophobia in the OP's direction, because she's not had enough already?

I'm a similar build to your friend so often find clothes swamp me. I have them altered (at the local dry cleaners) and then they are perfect.

For anyone of a non-standard build the best plan is to buy what you like in a size up from normal and then have it altered to fit. In our area nearly every dry cleaners offers this service at great prices and having a perfect fit can make high st buys look like couture.

There are a lot of jumpsuits in the shops atm and I've worn them everywhere this year - weddings, funerals, cruises, hikes. They look smart but edgy and aren't too feminine. Your friend should look for one she likes and then have it tailored to fit her perfectly.

@Pluvia I read the thread. I did not add to 'general homophobia'
I asked a genuine question, because I did not understand. Thanks for your most helpful response though.

If you’d read the thread properly then you’d understand why it is relevant. The op has explained it well.