What do lesbians wear to weddings?

[Pluvia]

Enquiring on behalf of a lesbian friend who's doing my head in. In three weeks time she's attending a formal traditional wedding where most women will be doing the frock and fascinator number.

She's 5'1" and a size 6-8. She's very androgynous looking and won't wear a skirt or heels. Very pale skin and white-blonde hair in a pixie cut. She doesn't do wide trousers, patterns, animal prints, pussy bows or anything that hints at girliness. Likes fitted and sharp. She will wear pink and bright colours. The plan was to find a sharp ankle-grazing suit and wear a plain whit t-shirt and tennis shoes with it.

I'd thought that Hobbes or Whistles or any number of other places would have a neat little fitted trouser suit, or Chanel-style jacket, which she'd look fab in, but they only seem to do them in black, grey and navy for workwear. The current fashion is for long, wide-cut jackets. She's tried a couple in the high street stores and even their petite sizes drown her.

Any thoughts? Max budget is £200.

[titchy]

You've had some great suggestions from others, and I'm not exactly sartorially inclined so cannot offer anything further on that front.

But the post has raised hackles because the implication is that a) lesbians are the only women that live in jeans and DMs, and b) straight women wear dresses and heels to weddings and do so effortlessly.

[calmlakes]

I'm not a lesbian but wear Joseph trouser Suits to weddings sometimes if that helps.
No one seems to care.

[knackeredagain]

I think a tuxedo suit would be fab. Doesn’t matter if it’s black/navy/grey if it’s got a bit of a satiny collar. Put a coloured tie or flower on the lapel, funky shoes.

[NotMeNoNo]

I think the word you're looking for is Gamine and it's a nightmare to find at the moment.
Mango? Not petite but neatly cut and easy to shorten.
shop.mango.com/gb/women/jackets-and-suit-jackets-blazers/structured-suit-blazer_37052881.html?c=70&talla=42&gclid=CjwKCAjwlqOXBhBqEiwA-hhitIdAgj9czkChqsr9PrFu0TWV1oDKmbsjsBA0QwJf-S7OiGcI90L5ihoC9DgQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

[JedEye]

Someone upthread linked to some suits including a few at Mango. Would this kind of thing work?

[JedEye]

Ah cross post!

[knackeredagain]

This suit is fab and comes in every size from 4 up. It’s about right for budget. She’d need a shirt/tie/shoes too, but wouldn’t look out of place, I don’t think. It’s ideal for a wedding.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1247709669/blue-3-piece-womens-tweed-suit

[MichelleScarn]

@Pluvia

Thanks to those who offered links to help: much appreciated. The wedding is in Scotland and I'm not sure a shorts suit, even in August, is advisable. Plus she's in her 50s...

For all those making fun of me, being a butch lesbian trying to blend in at a loved-one's smart and carefully curated wedding can be very challenging. When you live your life in jeans, walking boots and boy shirts, trying to fathom the niceties of wedding attire is a minefield.

Honestly don't get this, lived a portion of my life in army green kit and all the rest, as did my colleagues, but we also all managed to get nicely gussied up for the mess do and balls etc!

[Lolojojonesi]

I am not gay, but I am in my 50s and live in Scotland, and I wear jumpsuits from Whistles practically all the time, some of which are wedding-y:
www.whistles.com/clothing/jumpsuits/

[chubbachub]

@Pluvia

Thanks to those who offered links to help: much appreciated. The wedding is in Scotland and I'm not sure a shorts suit, even in August, is advisable. Plus she's in her 50s...

For all those making fun of me, being a butch lesbian trying to blend in at a loved-one's smart and carefully curated wedding can be very challenging. When you live your life in jeans, walking boots and boy shirts, trying to fathom the niceties of wedding attire is a minefield.

Could you elaborate on what exactly a "butch lesbian" is?

Thanks.

[SarahAndQuack]

DP is a butch(ish) lesbian; the last wedding we went to she wore a pair of smart tailored trousers and a nice shirt from Desiguel. Not super formal but she was breastfeeding so we had to take that into account.

With your friend's measurements I would look at the children's section for boys' suits - I've done this myself, and she's tiny! Often they are more traditional in cut, too. I also rate Ted Baker for slim-cut men's suits that can work on women. It might well be easier to get a man's waistcoat tailored to fit, than to get a woman's suit that works? And in this heat, you really only need the waistcoat tailored - the suit jacket will look fine loose, I think?

I totally get why it's an issue.

[cockandball]

I didn't realise lesbians have to dress like lesbians to attend straight weddings

[goldfinchonthelawn]

Isn't this exactly what you asked for?

[SarahAndQuack]

@SnowdropsInSpring

But what has this to do with being a lesbian? It’s all about style and what you are comfortable with. Strange thread.

I'm really confused by this post. Why do you think being a lesbian has nothing to do with style or what you're comfortable with? Or do you think lesbians don't care how they look?

[Rainallnight]

Just a hat, to cover our horns.

[JaneJeffer]

Why is everyone getting so worked up?

What about something like this from Boohoo

[Pluvia]

@Kanaloa

Well what did you wear? Since you’re a lesbian anything you wore to the last wedding you went to will surely be fine for this lesbian to wear.

I think the problem here is you’ve phrased it oddly. She knows what SHE wants to wear to the wedding - a sharp suit in a nice colour with a white t-shirt and trainers. You’ve said so in the op. So what does it matter what other lesbians may have worn to a wedding? What you need to know is where sells sharp petite suits in nice colours.

The last three weddings I've been to have been very unconventional lesbian affairs with people in leather and tweed and bright pink swirly frocks, Minnie Mouse and cowboy outfits and tuxedos and false moustaches. And that was just the women. FYI, I'm a 16-18, not very butch and if I'm not attending in my circus ringmaster's or pirate's outfit I tend to wear Plumo linen. Plumo linen would down my petite pal.

My friend couldn't give a shit about what she wears except for the fact that it's her dear niece's upscale wedding in a castle with 200 guests (her niece's big day) and she's anxious to feel moderately comfortable while not embarrassing the family. We've reached the sharp suit/ tennis shoes option after a couple of weeks refining what she would and wouldn't wear.

The great news is that she's order the green Shein suit and also Hobbs' Suki hot magenta suit

www.hobbs.com/product/suki-jacket/0122-4156-9845L00-COBALT-BLUE.html

and a pair of white Supergas. Thanks for all the links. The ones that weren't right helped refine the ones she really thought she could wear.

[Adventurine]

If you just make sure she will be wearing a flashing badge or sign that indicates her sexual preference to everyone in attendance, she can pretty much get away with wearing anything she likes. She doesn't have to pick from the set gay list of apparel

[Shamoo]

Last straight wedding I went to I wore a dress, despite being quite a butch lesbian myself. But some of more butch mates wore suits similar to what you are describing and I agree they will be fine. There are some good examples on here but I’ve also found some decent stuff in John Lewis as they have a good range of different brands to work through (and I’m quite lazy).

I do get why some people are a bit 🙄 at your post title but some are being dickheads - the suggestion that somebody doesn’t know what a butch lesbian is 😂

[Pluvia]

@SarahAndQuack

DP is a butch(ish) lesbian; the last wedding we went to she wore a pair of smart tailored trousers and a nice shirt from Desiguel. Not super formal but she was breastfeeding so we had to take that into account.

With your friend's measurements I would look at the children's section for boys' suits - I've done this myself, and she's tiny! Often they are more traditional in cut, too. I also rate Ted Baker for slim-cut men's suits that can work on women. It might well be easier to get a man's waistcoat tailored to fit, than to get a woman's suit that works? And in this heat, you really only need the waistcoat tailored - the suit jacket will look fine loose, I think?

I totally get why it's an issue.

Whew, thank you. I had no idea that straight people thought that things like traditional weddings were easy for butch lesbians.

[CandyLeBonBon]

I'm fairly sure lesbians can wear whatever they like to a wedding. At least they have to every one I've ever been to!! What an odd thread!

[BEAM123]

I came on this thread all excited thinking I might find ideas about what to wear to my own lesbian wedding. Disappointing!! I hate clothes shopping at the best of times, don't think I've ever found my style. After 2 weeks on Google I'm almost ready to skip getting married just so I can avoid having to find an outfit. All that comes up on searches is Chinese shops with dodgy trustpilot reviews!

[Pluvia]

@knackeredagain

This suit is fab and comes in every size from 4 up. It’s about right for budget. She’d need a shirt/tie/shoes too, but wouldn’t look out of place, I don’t think. It’s ideal for a wedding.

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1247709669/blue-3-piece-womens-tweed-suit

That Etsy suit is absolutely fabulous and she'll be buying it in the next month or two. It's possibly a bit too in-your-face for the wedding, but would be a great wardrobe staple. She sends her thanks and says she'd never have thought to look on Etsy in a million years.

[SarahAndQuack]

@Pluvia

Whew, thank you. I had no idea that straight people thought that things like traditional weddings were easy for butch lesbians.

I know, right?!

Not the same, but there's a careers advisor in my field who does posts about what to wear for (eg) interviews, or your first big client meeting, and she did a specific post about adapting it for butch lesbians (her partner is a butch lesbian). And I found it eye-opening how many people acted as if it was a huge imposition for her to do that - goodness, your butch lesbian partner should just figure it out on her own, or fall in with the proper ladylike women! How dare she want to dress up and look her best, just like anyone else?

[DillDanding]

My colleague asked my advice for a recent family wedding.

She's a lesbian, tends to dress butch (her words), and has an aversion to anything 'girly'. She was really stressed about what to wear.

We went shopping together and found a great orange slim-fitting suit from Mango (can't find it on website now) and some flatform white Converse. She looked a-mazing.