Well, what SHOULD we be wearing?!

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

Just caught the "What Looks Frumpy Dated" thread and it is so broad, perhaps someone can tell me, coming up 42, what in hell I should be wearing!

@PlantSpider

Wide leg crop pants, layered sports tops, shades, and a wide brimmed cloth black hat

Going to a festival later on today and I am struggling. I’ve got mom jeans which on My chunky legs look skinnyish anyway, a black body and a camo jacket with converse. Worried I’ll look naff. I’m 38. What do 38 year old wear to festivals ?

You wear what you want! When I go to festivals, I don’t go around judging everyone for their clothes choices, I’m there for the music and the vibe. No one is going to judge you.

Your outfit sounds fine.

Are there seriously people out there (real life) who need others to tell them what to wear?
Crikey.

Stick some rollers in and you'd be perfectly well dressed in Liverpool on a Saturday afternoon.

Yep, I have this dress and have received many compliments when wearing it. I absolutely love it.

A few weeks ago I posted asking which jacket - out of 2 - to buy. Both brown/tan suede: a biker style and a blazer style. The unanimous verdict was biker, and that blazer was really dated.
On the "dated" thread, biker is out and blazer is back!

Just as well I bought both! 😁🤣

The OP's thread is a tongue in cheek response to the "dated" thread.

I don't think so. But there are real life people, ie me, that ask this in a wry tone as there seem to be "rules" about what's in and out.

I've been to a vintage shop today and bought a floral 90s tea dress originally from Etam, midi length. Currently deciding what to wear with it.

I like skinny jeans still, tbf they are the only Jean that doesn't have to be super long for me to get away with. If I were to get some kick flares etc I'd have to get a specific length. I prefer blazers to bikers, I don't like denim jackets. But it's all personal choice. I think I know what suits me and know mom jeans would make me look like a sack of spuds. Maxi midi dresses also make me look like the size of a house. 🤷‍♀️

I agree with whoever said skinny jeans are still fine, not super-skinny/parsnip leg ones, but they aren't the trendiest, but I look horrid in the trendy wide legged denims or 90's throwback, I've quite enjoyed some boot cut but higher at the waist this summer. I even wear white or pale blue jeans in summer too! It's all about what you style them with, but wide legs are hideous on me as I'm round round the middle and that's my widest part, then they make me look square. I love wide legs as a look though, just not on my actual body.

So, slim/skinny it continues to be, in moderation, and not too tight.

I have moved to chunkier heels a while ago, and still wear white leather trainers a lot (not branded, M & S!!!!!) Unstructured jackets, little vest (my teen girls wear crop tops instead with this but I would not be able to carry off a crop top!)

Less cleavage than I used to, partly cos I hate bras now with a passion and also plunging cleavage is a young person's thing. Sometimes I do though, just for the hell of it.

I've definitely incorporated some of the more casual stuff from my teen girls, so the odd hoodie style, sweatshirt, slightly looser jeans on occasion, but I still manage to make them look 'older' of course, which is right and proper. I still wear sandals, even slightly strappy wedges on occasion.

I think most of the 'dated' things on that thread are not truly unfashionable, but there are a few tweaks that you can do to make things more current, like the chunky boot heel or trying different types of denims, cotton unstructured stuff like hoodies, I still wear more casual blazer things but no power dressing.

I did not know matt make-up was out of fashion, but I don't want to look greasy, so I'll leave the dewy stuff to my lovely young people who have genuinely glowy skin.

The other thing I have noticed young people doing is mixing up styles, or genres of clothes, so taking a sparky top but putting it with really casual clothes, or taking a dad shirt, but with short shorts...all kinds of mix-ups, so that's another thing you could do, although I tend to be a bit more 'uniform' in my choices.

*NaturalScone
Are there seriously people out there (real life) who need others to tell them what to wear?
Crikey.*

@NaturalScone

Have you ever seen S& B threads where posters seemed to have lost a lot of confidence and ask for help?

Maybe coming up for air after having children, often after bereavement or illness, or a relationship break up. That sort of thing.

Some people are just not into that stuff, their interests lie elsewhere and want a steer.

In Maggie's Centres which a Centres that help people dealing with cancer - they run m'up and 'fashion ' re vamps. It lifts the spirits and gives confidence.

I did a wardrobe revamp last year after a difficult decade. It was great. I didn't do anything drastic money-wise, a lot of it was charity shops, the odd full-price item, good shoes, a bag or two. It is so nice to open your wardrobe and have lots of stuff to wear, all of which fits and all of which suits you. I had changed shape, size and trends had also moved on a bit, so the odd refresh is not a bad idea (if you can afford it).

Now I’m paranoid my long hair is too try hard / frumpy! I try and curl it otherwise it’s a bit wild.

i also dress like an extra / minor witch in Harry Potter - or a bit like a music teacher in a public school iykwim
not quite blue stocking, but able to assert myself and pull up a chair in the C suite.

ive found that every conference I’ve been to recently has the panel wearing the block heel boot and the platform white trainer. The block heel boot looks dated with the black workwear trousers. The white trainer allows for greater variety.
live seen skinny jeans and flowing palazzo pants paired with the trainers and they both look great.

agree 100% that matt makeup and eyeshadow is terrible aging, as do long acrylic nails, and lipstick. Glowing skin with dewy complexion looks modern.

Hair arranged perfectly with the power blow out looks like a manifestation of imposter syndrome to me (but then what do I know, I’ve got labradoodle /Mary Beard hair).

I had changed shape, size and trends had also moved on a bit, so the odd refresh is not a bad idea (if you can afford it).

All power to you.

Where did you get your inspiration from @FarFarFarAndAway ?

Having confidence and not giving too many fucks is defo my approach - my ‘rules’ (for me) are walk tall/wear lippie/dress for your shape. I don’t care if boxy is in because I have an hour glass figure and boxy shapes look shit on me! I just love talking fashion and clothes - it’s not going to save the world but if you feel good about yourself that’s the important thing

I'm 34 and basically live in crop tops and comfortable bottoms throughout summer.

Have just purchased a pair of baggy jeans, and a pair of flares for the summer to wear with loose cotton tops, vests-preferably racer backed and ballet slippers/flip flops. This is exactly what I was wearing twenty years ago so will probably look like a bit of a saddo chasing youth with my high lighted mum bob but honestly I hate showing my legs and I have not been as comfortable in summer since the early naughties.
I was not aware all white trainers were out of style, I always have a pair of all white vans and converse on rotation in summer and the classic black vans and doc martins in winter. Still wear heeled leather camel coloured botties with skinny jeans tucked in with a nice top, I know this is wrong but I always feel so smart and get lots of compliments.

Probably not very helpful but I wear things that suit my body shape - regardless of what is in fashion
i prefer natural fibres so cotton and linen mainly dresses at the moment
in winter I love a good sweater dress or jumper jeans and boots combo
tend to stick to plain or small patterns, some checks, stripes or polka dots occasionally
at 58 I’ve found what colours suit me
As my feet are quite small and narrow I wear pointed toe flats or small heels, comfortable sandals for holidays and mainly ankle boots in winter - although I do have some knee length boots as well
gold Stan smiths are a recent purchase
I tend to wear shirts as a cover up or very plain cardigans
in winter good quality wool coats with raglan sleeves as they fit me better
I wear far too much jewellery for most peoples tastes and love an unusual nail colour/finish

I was at a tourist spot today and many women were in great colourful summer dresses - I haven't seen pretty dress like those as day wear since errrr oh about 1972 when Laura Ashley was the trend.

One person's frump is another person's delight. I think we all see it differently.

Doesn't it generally mean 'unaware, passionless, female, middle aged?'

I wonder what it really means? I suppose it morphs with each generation. My generation applied it (innocently) to what our parents wore. But i don't think the gaps between generations are quite as pronounced now. It was the boring aunt who went to church or put on weight and cut her hair off. And I imagine ladies with short hair and a few extra lbs would find it insulting - and so they should!

I have never heard a man use the term, so it strikes me as an inherently female terror. But a terror of what? Irrelevance? Naiveté?
In contrast 'dad clothes' take on humour, a wry grin. They don't carry the same, damning connotations.
Remember the Sweet Valley High books? The popular girls would never have succumbed to this! It may mean a fear of not being part of the pack. Unpopular, shunned......not allowed into the sacred circle of what's happening or cutting edge.

Maud, for instance, was considered a frumpy name. Someone is always going to be on the unfortunate end of the frump-stick. It is primarily about clothes though, and perhaps hair, posture....and it is also a good way of getting people to buy more crap, to keep relevant. It belongs in room 101 I think, along with that tired old shite "if you wore it the first time around, you simply can't do it now!"

But when styles merge and change at such a rapid pace as now, in a world that is succumbing to the environmental impact of mass consumerism, it is time we made up some new rules. There is no such thing as dated or frumpy in real terms. Only the feelings we assign to things, which are largely made up and driven by those with something to sell you.

Whatever it is, it can provoke deep thought. I'm that kind of asshole. I like getting to the bottom of things like this

@sunglassesonthetable I went into just some regular shops, like H & M, Zara, M & S, looked about, bought a few things and let the ultimate arbiters (my two late teen girls) have their say. Their opinion was that I should wear tighter tops, but then with baggier slackets/hoodies, and that I wasn't doing myself any favours with my shifts over jeans...I also 'did' the charity shops, I can spot a higher end (than what I pay for full-price) bargain in 20 sec, you might only get one or two per outing but that's enough. I have beautiful coats from charity shops, less so basic outfits. I also buy jeans new and was persuaded to try different colours and shapes, especially lighter colours which are really flattering (so white, cream, beige, browns rather than all black).

I am quite confident in what suits me, which is the jeans, jacket, slight heel combo, but it just needed a refresh, so different jean legs, slacket instead of structured jacket and chunkier heel boots. Mix up with nicer silky fabrics, including higher end for evening.

I also watched some make up tutorials on make-up mistakes and how to apply make-up. I was making lots as it turned out, not that I really care, but I bought a couple of recommended products, a good primer, and my teens were very complimentary about my 'glow up' so I stuck with that.

I mean, I really don't like jogging bottoms. Joggers.
I associate them with being 19 and seeing sloppily dressed middle aged men drinking too much and shouting obscenities at passing women. They were the type of clothes most people associated with slobs or the 'lower classes' (not my judgement!) so generally avoided by the fashion aware.

And this just goes to show how slippery as an eel our associations are. Now everyone loves them, it's all 'dress them up or down!'. Joggers are the latest in a long line of previously loathed clothes items that we have all agreed are ok now. We are fickle

But for me personally, I could never get on with them. I can just about tolerate some Sweaty Betty Gary yoga pants, but that's teetering really close to jogger territory for me. But people love them, they're comfy, the don't dig in, so that's fine.

No single thing is free of at least some associations, unless, perhaps, we are very young. Remember when everything was so freaking new??? At 13 i thought flares were out of this world. I hunted them down, second hand in Afflecks Palace in Manchester. I bought some more from &M last week. It's all so shifting and meaningless, really.

@FarFarFarAndAway What a positive story. And with the teen influencers chipping in. Good to have that little push. If you feel happy and good in your clothes and how you look it has such an uplifting effect. It's a few years since I've done charity shops but I've been getting into Vinted and Depop and picked up some good things.

Joggers were big when I was a teen & tbh I never really gave them completely up.