Why are so many men obsessed with getting abs?

[PGWo]

I see it on the cover of any men's magazines when I go out. Why do men starve themselves and spend every waking hour working out just to get some bumps on their stomach?
Do they actually think it would impress women? Any woman who cares about abs probably isn't worth their time anyway.

*elidelochanthefirst

I'm not as concerned with looks as I am with personality, intelligence, and being well-read. When my husband and I were at university we didn't really care about partying and sex. We preferred reading and we're very studious.
I can gurantee you Henry Cavill and Idris Elba are full of steroids.*

Love your snobbery here 😆** when I was at university with my DH we spent an inordinate amount of time having sex and me admiring his amazing 6 pack! I was also capable of being well read, I have a first in history and a masters in early modern history. 11 years later I still find his gorgeous and interesting too! You can be studious and appreciate some chiselled abs 👌

Incidentally my DH is very proud of my abs as I have a chronic pain condition and working on my core is a key part of my treatment and I have very defined obliques.

Never known a man in real life that's desired it.

I don't find the tight body type attractive. Think a six pack only looks good on a man that's naturally big and muscular eg Gerard Butler

@PGWo

In your very first comment, you said "Tbh though, given the amount of stuff the average woman feels obliged to do, it's the very least we could expect from them."

So yes, you were saying men should be made to feel uncomfortable for not having a six pack.

@5128gap

And do you think its worked? Do you think all the untoned men of the world are going to be trying on their entire wardrobes before they hit the town to find a shirt that 'flatters' their imperfect figure? Asking their mates 'do my abs look flabby in this?' Running the gauntlet of women shouting 'show us your fl-abs darling' from car windows? Or do you think they're mainly going to be sinking their pints, eating their kebabs, and thinking they're gods gift to women, happy as clams, like they normally do on a Saturday?

@LactoseTheIntolerant

Op it is possible for men (and women) to actually enjoy working out and the feeling of being fit, the same way it is possible for your partner to enjoy opera. One is not superior to the other. Your posts read as if you think that people who enjoy exercise are shallow and 2 dimensional. I enjoy both working out (because feeling fit and strong is amazing) and a wide variety of cultural interests. I don't care if a man has abs, but I would think less of someone that didn't take any care of their physical wellbeing.

That's what I was going to say but you beat me to it

@PGWo..... you have a very weird views of abs and the effort that people - yes, people, not just men - go to to get abs. I'm a woman in my 60s and I work out every day. Not because I'm hoping to attract men, but because I enjoy it and want to remain healthy for another 20 years at least. I also lift weights and do cardiovascular and HIIT. I love it and it makes me feel energised.

There is no contradiction between keeping fit and pursuing cultural interests. Why would there be? Next time you go to see a ballet, watch the dancers legs... Few people have leg muscles like a ballet dancer, and their abs are in excellent shape as well.

NB: Working out with weights and daily cardiovascular exercises, plus a healthy diet are key to staying healthy. The former is essential if you want to prevent bone loss once you hit the menopause.

Where are you meeting all these men obsessed with getting abs?

Abs are made in the kitchen more than they are in the gym. I did a chuckle at your 'starve themselves'

[quote PGWo]@hamstersarse

Why are you impressed by masculinity? Would you want your partner to like you for your femininity?
Are you attracted to men who get into fights with other men, shout loudly in public, and disrespect women? That's what I think of as a masculine man.

As I said in an earlier post, masculinity and femininity are just social concepts. They vary throughout space and time. Bodybuilders were considered feminine in the seventies and eighties. Pink and blue used to be respectively boy's and girl's colours.

My partner has a degree in English literature and enjoys ballet and opera. Would you consider that grossly unmasculine?[/quote]
Your view of masculinity is warped.

[quote PGWo]@Perfectlystill
I'm sure you'd be upset if your husband said something like this about you, so why are you bad-mouthing like him this way?

@PurpleDaisies

Wouldn't you rather not care how your breasts and arse look and just appreciate you for your personality and insights?
You won't have your breasts and bottom forever. Will he get bored then?
And also be careful, as your husband is unlikely to be the only man noting you. It's very possible then when you go out to the supermarket or at the gym, that other men are 'appreciating' your features.[/quote]
Are you for real OP? You have some really weird views.

[quote PGWo]@Ifailed

Yes, and that's part of the irony. The women who are attracted to abs like them because they indicate brute masculinity (i.e. aggression, volatility, violence, etc). So that's why they'd be attracted to rugby players but probably wouldn't care about ballerinos. The fact that he does ballet would turn them off.[/quote]
But lots of people have abs. They are not linked to masculinity. They are linked to strength and fitness. Women have them too and do not look masculine because of them. Also many men without ‘brute masculinity’ have them too. As mentioned above, I have the beginnings of abs from sheer hard work. Also my very quiet, gentle non-bulky husband, who is a GP has them too. You would never know by seeing him clothed as he is quite slim, but he has been working really hard for the last 2 years to improve his overall fitness. I find your idea of ‘brute masculinity’ to be rather strange and refers to only a very small proportion of men. Intelligent, gentle, quiet people can also have abs you know - they are not a personality trait but an indication of a certain type/ level of fitness. And they don’t require you to spend all your spare time in the gym. People with abs still have plenty of time to see friends, read books, go to the theatre etc too.

Who knows? But why are so many women obsessed with looking perfect in absolutely every way? At least the men getting abs aren't grooming themselves (hair, make-up, hair removal) for at least an hour every day of the week before they even start on their exercise. I couldn't give a stuff about the men and their body image worries to be honest.

It's interesting that you say abs aren't linked to masculinity @EssexLioness as many people on this thread have said they find abs attractive because they look masculine.

@PGWo abs on men, are linked to masculinity but abs are a set of muscles, that’s all. Many women who work out also have them. I don’t see how they can be viewed as masculine when for example I have them (albeit not overly defined), whilst also having an hourglass figure with big boobs. I can assure you that I don’t look masculine and not do many women who work out. A toned man looks like a man, a toned woman looks like a woman.

Wouldn't you rather your husband appreciate your personality and integrity? You may have a nice bum and bosom now, but it won't last forever…. I find this idea odd too. I have big boobs which my husband loves, however I also have lots of personality traits which he finds attractive. I am a kind and honest person and my DH was attracted to who I am. He is allowed to enjoy my company whilst at the same time thinking my boobs look nice in a certain top/ dress. Sexual attraction and emotional connection can go hand in hand.

I’m not sure how old you are OP but some of your views seem very stereotyped and old fashioned. All this talk about ‘British masculinity’, people who work out as being shallow, having no idea about the fact that social media is full of women posting about their large bums and how to grow your glutes, the move away from ‘thin’ women to ‘strong’ women as the ideal. I am mid 40s so no spring chicken, but I am aware of these things.

"Takes a lot of effort, dedication and eating lots of the right foods."

"starve themselves"

A lot of the other comments on this thread are rubbish, misguided.

Both my teen boys have them naturally, minimal effort, they don't go to the gym, youngest plays football.

So that's why they'd be attracted to rugby players but probably wouldn't care about ballerinos

Male ballerinas are muscley though, not in the same way as a rugby a player but they need a ridiculous amount of strength and those on stage will be training a lot and will have done for years; their bodies will be tight and they will have abs.

I have suggested twice that the OP may be a man, and they have not responded. OP, if you are a man feeling that a lack of abs may make women see you as jnadequate or less masculine in some way, for goodness sake say so, then the tone of the thread might move in a direction you find more helpful.

Are you for real OP? You have some really weird views.

Agreed. I’m not sure what “being careful in case men are appreciating me” means. It’s oddly menacing. I haven’t found it to be a big problem in life so far.

@PurpleDaisies

Are you for real OP? You have some really weird views.

Agreed. I’m not sure what “being careful in case men are appreciating me” means. It’s oddly menacing. I haven’t found it to be a big problem in life so far.

It does come across a bit 'Stacey should be careful, going out without Chad and his abs to protect her' doesn't it?

I’m not sure what @PGWo expects me to do when I’m “being careful”. Or what I can do about my boobs and arse.

I don't like or dislike them, it would not make an unattractive man attractive if he had abs. To me anyway. Of course a lovely body is amazing but a guy doesn't need to be totally ripped to be attractive.

@PGWo
you have misunderstood.
Most people IRL don't care about having abs. There aren't droves of insecure, inadequate feeling men wandering around. You've made it up.

Try talkinjg to some actual humans instead of looking at trash mags?

What's British masculinity?
@EssexLioness

@5128gap
It's funny, because earlier I was accused of being a misandrist, now I'm being accused of being a man!
I can't prove to you that I'm a woman, but I am.

@PurpleDaisies
I just meant be careful because I assume you wouldn't want men to be noticing your bum in the supermarket. 🤷‍♂️

Having abs is almost undeniably the result of steroids.

Ffs. NO it is not !
You have a really strange view on this, there must be an underlying reason. You're obsessed with aligning abs with toxic masculinity it's BIZARRE!?!

FYI. My husband, and most of his friendship group all have defined abs thanks to the sport they partake in frequently. Not steroids (they are randomly drug tested regularly)

Both my teen boys have them naturally, minimal effort, they don't go to the gym, youngest plays football.

Careful @Oblomov22 your boys MUST BE TAKING STEROIDS. according to the, totally reasonable, OP.

I don’t think you understand what objectification means.

It's a decent kind of lifestyle, or hobby, to keep men looking fit, instead of being fat and paunchy, and eating junk food, and slobbing around, and boozing too much. I don't mind seeing men with all all the abs, but not if they have a body full of awful tattoos..