Why are so many men obsessed with getting abs?

[PGWo]

I see it on the cover of any men's magazines when I go out. Why do men starve themselves and spend every waking hour working out just to get some bumps on their stomach?
Do they actually think it would impress women? Any woman who cares about abs probably isn't worth their time anyway.

Survival of the fittest innit. In every sense of the word.

I'm quite impressed by men with abs, which according to the OP makes me too shallow for any man to waste his time on. Probably wouldn't be keen on my life-partner living the kind of diet and exercise regime required to keep them though.

I do not know if it is that much of a difference. Throughout cinematic history, studios have cast muscular men to appeal to female audiences.

Not that much of a difference between expectations of female beauty efforts and male? Are you kidding?! Even if we were just talking about film stars (which we absolutely aren't), the extent to which women's appearance has historically been required to be altered (sometimes by actively painful or uncomfortable means) is very different from men's. And when it comes to the non-film-star population, the difference is immeasurable.

My partner's 6 pack looks impressive.

Masculine.

Guess that's what makes men attractive to heterosexual women, their masculinity. Who knew?

I can't for one moment think a man with a flabby body is more attractive than athletic healthy one?

I have never heard of a woman working out to impress men.

You’ve obviously missed all the “guys go nuts for my big butt from all my squats and lunges” type posts that seem to plague my Facebook feed. Damn you personal trainer SIL.

They look great and make you feel good and confident with your top off.

They’re not something only gained through starvation and hours at the gym everyday. Sensible food, and the right exercises will enable you to have visible abs. A lot of men focus on exercise too much, we all have a sixpack, but its hidden under fat. Fat reduction and some regular weight based exercise is whats needed.

I really detest the blanket criticism of masculinity

It's so naive and also full of shit

For many people abs (or whatever else) is a byproduct of doing something they love, for my DP it's CrossFit, he doesn't workout to get abs, he does it to increase strength, endurance and to protect his health.

I'm pregnant and still training 4 times a week, I'm not doing it for physique, although it's a nice byproduct.

Also some men naturally keep fat on legs more than their middle, so defined abs come much more easily.

I wouldn't be with someone out of shape, so horses for courses, fitness is a big part of my life.

I work on my core every single day for 10ms.

I'd really love abs.

@allBattledoreAndShuttlecock

Why are you impressed by men with abs?

All the men I know who are ripped, are like it because of crossfit. They don't do it to impress people, but for the love of the sport. Oh and the women are pretty ripped too!

@hamstersarse

Why are you impressed by masculinity? Would you want your partner to like you for your femininity?
Are you attracted to men who get into fights with other men, shout loudly in public, and disrespect women? That's what I think of as a masculine man.

As I said in an earlier post, masculinity and femininity are just social concepts. They vary throughout space and time. Bodybuilders were considered feminine in the seventies and eighties. Pink and blue used to be respectively boy's and girl's colours.

My partner has a degree in English literature and enjoys ballet and opera. Would you consider that grossly unmasculine?

@IBelieveInAThingCalledScience

I work on my core every single day for 10ms.

I'd really love abs.

Why? @IBelieveInAThingCalledScience

My DH has really defined abs and while I wouldn't specifically need them in a partner, obvs, I do like it I can't put my finger on why really other than I like how he's so healthy and fit. He doesn't go to the gym though, just has a manual job and does the odd bit of irregular exercise at home. He also eats loads but is just almost all very healthy. However he's not stuck on that either as in needing special meals or being super strict or anything.

If he worked out a lot everyday and only ate chicken and rice, and was inflexible because of eating and workouts etc then it might feel different. But not everyone has to be that way to have defined abs and some musculature. Guess he's lucky.

@PGWo

You have a very warped view of masculinity. It is not about fighting and shouting - that actually is undeveloped masculinity.

I can't be bothered to type a whole post because what I can see in all your responses is that you think men and women are the same and everything is just social conditioning. I don't think that and so we are just going to disagree forever because we come from such different starting points.

But in summary, yes masculinity is attractive to me as a heterosexual women. And I also have no issue with being feminine, indeed I enjoy the freedom to be feminine when I am with my masculine partner

@PGWo if that's what you see as masculinity then of course you won't like. That's a strain of anti social masculine behaviour. But it's a strain of it that's been useful in our evolutionary past at times - aggression hasn't always been a pain. Other stereotypical masculine behaviours continue to be useful. Most people aren't just one or the other though are they?

[quote Noln]@PGWo if that's what you see as masculinity then of course you won't like. That's a strain of anti social masculine behaviour. But it's a strain of it that's been useful in our evolutionary past at times - aggression hasn't always been a pain. Other stereotypical masculine behaviours continue to be useful. Most people aren't just one or the other though are they?[/quote]
@Noln
@hamstersarse
If it is all to do with evolution and not social conditioning, then why has it varied so much throughout space and time?
This is a picture of US President Franklin Roosevelt as a young boy (www.gettyimages.ie/detail/news-photo/franklin-d-roosevelt-as-a-child-with-long-blonde-hair-he-news-photo/514080422). Many boys were dressed this way at the time.
I still wonder why is it wrong that my partner watches ballet and listens to opera.
If the type of masculinity I described is not the type you are attracted to, then what is?

@PGWo

If you think the way a man dresses is a reflection of masculinity, I don't know where to start

@5128gap
I am still wondering why you think abs are amazing and impressive. Also, what makes you worth it? I am sure you would agree any man impressed by shapely bottoms and toned stomachs is not worth impressing.
Again, I really think the solution to objectifying women should not be to objetify men.

[quote hamstersarse]@PGWo

If you think the way a man dresses is a reflection of masculinity, I don't know where to start[/quote]
What do you mean by masculinity? What makes a man masculine and not masculine? Is preferring opera to sport unmasculine?

I am sure you would agree any man impressed by shapely bottoms and toned stomachs is not worth impressing.

Is there any part of you that lives in the real world and appreciates that we are evolved animals with a whole history of having to survive and reproduce - which is not socially conditioned?

I still wonder why is it wrong that my partner watches ballet and listens to opera.

Have you seen the abs on some male ballerinos?

There's honestly no need to be so angry because you have a fat feminine partner.

Op it is possible for men (and women) to actually enjoy working out and the feeling of being fit, the same way it is possible for your partner to enjoy opera. One is not superior to the other. Your posts read as if you think that people who enjoy exercise are shallow and 2 dimensional. I enjoy both working out (because feeling fit and strong is amazing) and a wide variety of cultural interests.
I don't care if a man has abs, but I would think less of someone that didn't take any care of their physical wellbeing.

@PGWo

The solution to women feeling insecure from objectification is to stop objectifying them, not to objectify men. Making men feel bad about their appearance doesn't make women better off.

Why are you impressed by them? What about the bumps are amazing?

@5128gap

I'm a heterosexual woman who is attracted to men. Within that I have a preference for certain physical attributes, including abs. To me, they are aesthetically pleasing in the way an untoned male body is not. This does not mean that whenever I interact with a man I am checking out his appearance. Or that in day to day non sexual interaction with men I am weighing them up as a potential partner based on their body. Or that I think men's worth as a person and the respect they are due is linked to their body type. Or that I see them as sexual objects rather than human beings. Therefore my personal taste does not 'objectify men'. Given the level of inequality between the treatment of men and women on the basis of appearance, it would be disingenuous to pretend I lose sleep over the fact that some men may feel bad about their appearance because they fail to exercise. I am a woman, and therefore have more pressing and personal causes to concern myself with. Men are typically quite capable of defending themselves without my help.

I'll bite on your requirement for healthy masculinity, even knowing this will be an insufficient explanation and open to manipulation given your starting point.

For me a healthily masculine man is:

1. Someone who accepts the responsibility of his life

So that means, he doesn't shy away from the responsibility of children, and is fair in how he conducts himself here (i.e. not a tyrant, not a weakling either)

1. Someone who will take on some level of risk and/or danger

It's easy to say we don't need men, but if you have ever been in a situation such as an intruder in your house, a masculine man is able to take this on. This is not to say he is a sadist or a masochist, but he has a level of aggression which is controlled and put to use when is required. He is also not a coward.

1. He is able to create and be innovative and takes time to be curious and 'knowing'

That means he does have some interest in knowledge and 'becoming wise and reflective and knowing' which helps in all aspects of life. However, unhealthy masculinity in this aspect looks like manipulation.

1. Capacity to love

Again, there are unhealthy aspects to this trait of masculiniy showing as obessive love etc.

That is what a masculine man looks like to me, and he may enjoy opera, ballet and have long blond hair. None of that is relevant