Why are so many men obsessed with getting abs?

[PGWo]

I see it on the cover of any men's magazines when I go out. Why do men starve themselves and spend every waking hour working out just to get some bumps on their stomach?
Do they actually think it would impress women? Any woman who cares about abs probably isn't worth their time anyway.

@PurpleDaisies
I am talking about the culture of rugby. Attempts to reform the sport to be slightly safer for children were resisted by players; they wanted to keep tackling not despite but because of its potential danger. If that is not toxic, I can't imagine what is.

I am aware 50 Shades is fiction. Its popularity is very much real. The main character is an aggressive, violent person. That was his appeal. That is what I mean when I say celebrating masculine behaviour encourages toxicity.

I am aware 50 Shades is fiction. Its popularity is very much real. The main character is an aggressive, violent person. That was his appeal. That is what I mean when I say celebrating masculine behaviour encourages toxicity.

I have never heard Christian Grey celebrated as the ideal man. He’s a stalker, manipulative, gaslighting abuser as far as I can tell. I haven’t read the books.

I am not engaging with you on the subject of banning rugby.

Do you know any rugby players off the pitch? I do. The ones I know well are lovely funny men who are great dads and treat their wives well. They also have muscles.

Being muscly tells you that someone has muscles. It does not tell you what they’re like as a person.

@5128gap
Many people here, including yourself, have expressed attraction to abs on men because they signify masculinity. It is not a stretch to assume women who like masculine physiques also like masculine personalities.
When we look at media intended to appeal to these women, even such media created by women, the muscular men are portrayed as violent, aggressive men. I have brought up examples such as Jason Momoa, Fifty Shades of Grey, Billy of Stranger Things, and any erotic novella aimed at women.
Even if there are plenty of nice muscular men in real life (and there are), the muscular sex symbols popular with women are never nice, sensitive men. There are even studies indicating women prefer men with facial scars (www.theguardian.com/science/2008/nov/18/scar-attraction).
"'When scarring is seen as the result of a violent encounter, it signifies strength or bravery in a guy, or it could be due to an accident, and so evidence of a risk-taking personality. Either way, it's another way of assessing a man's masculinity'".
So yes, I think women who like abs have been conditioned by traditional gender norms, and celebrating such physiques promotes toxic behaviour in men.

@PurpleDaisies

1. I am not talking about banning rugby. I am pointing out that rugby players opposed getting rid of tackling in primary schools because they did not want to reduce the risk of injury to children. The potential for injury is a feature of the game, not an unfortunate byproduct.

1. I am sure there are plenty of nice muscular men in real life, but that is not part of their appeal. It is not a stretch to assume women who like masculine physiques also like masculine personalities.

@PurpleDaisies
The book was incredibly popular with women. Clearly, he appealed to a lot of people.

@PGWo no one is forced to play , all sport is dangerous do you slate everyone who does a sport or just rugby that you feel its ok to take a pop at and call all sorts of names
A scratch you can get from cutting your roses, mine love the sport , they have lots of friemds from it , keep fit etc so I don't worry they may have scratches
You are quoting about a sport that you don't know the rules or understand and that annoys me , plus your not being forced to play so stop being patronising

@PGWo you also keep referring to the same report with a few drs , not every dr in the uk , rugby is always looking at making things safer and has taken great strides over the years , which you wouldn't know as your not involved

Ripped = yum
But prefer stocky big men anyway. Yum yum yum

@PGWo rules have been made to keep it safer most people who okay rugby don't want to loose the tackle totally as it then wouldn't be rugby would it, you are aware womens rugby is pretty big these days as well , as women and girls play
At out club we have a big girls and women section with some very talented players
So they quite fit your stereotype
Your very judgemental of others , many would call you boring from the lifestyle you describe but thats your choice as it is others who pray rugby or choose to have abs
Basically its non of your damn business

This is really just a goady thread Op disappears then comes back with same response and same article
Stereotyping a whole amount of people
Please don't even respond to me now as there is just no point your happy sitting judging so keep on

Some men go overboard. Light definition is what gets me going, rather than bulging muscles.

OP refuses to engage with some of us properly 😐. The stereotypes are quite comical.

I've already said the abs insecurity is a non issue, given you can't see them under clothes, and only a chance someone with a fit, toned physique might have them.
I prefer a man with a toned physique for what it's worth as I'm quite physically active myself. I don't think they're more masculine than the average man either.

This aggressive rugby player with abs has been crocheting a frog today, I also did some dancing at baby sensory, very toxic. To be fair the dancing would have been traumatic to witness, I think my daughter was worried what the other babies would think.

I did however take a topless photo in the gym changing room (it was empty), the lighting was too good not to.

OP refuses to engage with some of us properly

Almost as if they have an agenda and aren't interested in any sort of actual discussion.

What a strange thread. Op, are you a skinny male by any chance? Because surely the only people obsessed with why any man would want abs, is a man without any abs.

[quote PGWo]@5128gap
Many people here, including yourself, have expressed attraction to abs on men because they signify masculinity. It is not a stretch to assume women who like masculine physiques also like masculine personalities.
When we look at media intended to appeal to these women, even such media created by women, the muscular men are portrayed as violent, aggressive men. I have brought up examples such as Jason Momoa, Fifty Shades of Grey, Billy of Stranger Things, and any erotic novella aimed at women.
Even if there are plenty of nice muscular men in real life (and there are), the muscular sex symbols popular with women are never nice, sensitive men. There are even studies indicating women prefer men with facial scars (www.theguardian.com/science/2008/nov/18/scar-attraction).
"'When scarring is seen as the result of a violent encounter, it signifies strength or bravery in a guy, or it could be due to an accident, and so evidence of a risk-taking personality. Either way, it's another way of assessing a man's masculinity'".
So yes, I think women who like abs have been conditioned by traditional gender norms, and celebrating such physiques promotes toxic behaviour in men.[/quote]
I think OP, you'd be far better advised to concern yourself with your own conditioning than worrying about mine.
You have performed considerable mental gymnastics, stretching reasonable deduction beyond its capacity, in order to make the leap from my comment that abs were aesthetically pleasing (note, I never used the word masculine, that was all you) to conclude I am responsible for promoting toxic masculinity.
In your position, I would be asking myself why it was so important that I find a way to blame a woman for problems caused by men, and what that said about my own conditioning.
Attacks on and blaming of women, by women is very insidious and an absolute gift to the beneficiaries of the societal norms you purport to despise.

[quote PGWo]@NinjaQueen
Many men prefer toned, shapely bottoms, not big ones.
I think most women work out for themselves, not to impress men. Do you feel the need to change how your bottom looks to impress your husband? Wouldn't you prefer he appreciate your personality and humanity?[/quote]
I quite like the fact that he enjoys my winning personality and quality conversation as well as the fact he LOVES my fat arse and big tits.
Really OP, its completely normal for people to fancy their partners physically. I met my partner online years and years ago and would have likely scrolled on past if he wasnt hot.

[quote PGWo]@EssexLioness
You are absolutely correct that masculinity and femininity are outdated social constructs. Many people on this thread including @elidelochanthefirst, @Branleuse, @Suprima, @5128gap, and @BattledoreAndShuttlecock have said they find abs attractive because they convey masculinity.
What sort of personality traits would we associate with traditional masculinity? I would associate fighting and aggression. So women who are into muscular men are probably interested in aggressive men as well.
Answer me: Why is it that the examples of muscular sex symbols are almost always men with aggressive personalities? Jason Momoa, rugby players, Fifty Shades of Grey, etc.

@AmericanStickInsect
Attraction is never a choice, but it can be reflective of political circumstances. For instance, people may be conditioned to believe that POC are ugly. I think women who are attracted to muscular men have been conditioned to buy into traditional gender norms.
As for rugby players, I again ask if a sport in which the potential of massive injury is part of the point is not toxic, then what on Earth is? That is precisely toxic masculinity: pressuring boys into doing incredibly dangerous activities, insisting that reluctance to do so means they aren't "real men", and that attempts to make the sport safer will soften our generation. It's the same rhetoric used against political correctness or in favour of hazing in American universities.[/quote]
I associate it with positive masculinity. Strength, endurance, commitment, sacrifice, protection.

My partner doesnt even have visible abs these days, but on my screensaver he does. Its not an essential, but im not going to pretend that I think it doesnt look nice.
If a bloke had abs but was aggressive and violent, i wouldnt be thinking 'phwoar' , id be thinking he was a prick.
I also follow some instagram pages of quite masc looking women with abs. Im bisexual and I really do like a kinda butch aesthetic in women too.

Its not the only look I enjoy, but its one of them.
Dont you ever fancy people OP?

Having rugby without tackling wouldnt even be the same game. Wouldnt it be like having Boxing without punching?
Im not into rugby or boxing so I dont really care that much, but I wouldnt want my kids or partner to get into it for safety reasons, and I always associate it with meat heads a bit, but people know what theyre getting into. I would say better to have it not played in school than to force the game to be unrecognisable. Adults can play stupid sports if they want.
Im not sure what theyve got to do with having abs though, which is just having visible muscles. Lots of blokes get visible abs when they need to gain a bit of weight. It doesnt mean theyre muscleheads

Is your partner a fatty? Are you insecure?