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Original poster

Would you judge me?

261 replies

Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 19:45

I’m being a little vague (deliberately) please forgive me.

My husband is going for what equates to an interview.

I’ll also be visible to the interviewers.

If I was wearing an LV scarf and carrying a mulberry or LV bag too would you judge me negatively?

Sorry I know it’s a weird scenario!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Original poster
Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 22:12

@Kriskristoffifee

Is this style and beauty or aibu ? . Cruel and nasty replies. Op a designer scarf and bag will be fine . Oh and good luck 👍
Thanks! I deliberately didn’t post in AIBU. Seems they found me anyway.
OP posts:
NobblyBob · 01/04/2022 22:16

Is this Sue from Nighty Night?! Mulberry and LV are a bit dated and overdone, don't think anyone cares anymore. Go for it

Itsbackagain · 01/04/2022 22:18

I wouldn't know Mulberry or LV from M&S unless they were dripping with logo's. If they are then I'd think it was tacky - real or fake.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 01/04/2022 22:20

Seems a common issue

AngelinaFibres · 01/04/2022 22:21

The simple answer really is that you need to fit the parish as a couple and the parish needs to be right for you. If those things gel comfortably together then that is perfect and you 2 and the parishioners will be happy and you will have a lovely life there. If it is an affluent area and you dress as you do ,you will fit in. If the area has significant deprivation then designer clothes etc may be less appropriate. I watched a documentary a while ago which focused on vicars and their families and what life was like. Some wives had nothing day to day to do with the parish. They weren't running the fete and doing Sunday school stuff. They had professional careers . Being a vicar was solely the responsibility of their husband. If that is your life then thst makes a difference too.

Herejustforthisone · 01/04/2022 22:21

Our family friend is a vicar (and a bishop, sssshhhh). His wife says that all the older women in the parish go absolutely doolally over him and are constantly giving her dirty looks and cooing over him. Not only that, they are always cooking for him and gaining entry to the vicarage to clean it for him! Not her, obviously, they can’t stand her and have decreed her unworthy. 😂

He is a crack in orator and with a great sense of humour but many women would be driven potty by the attentions of these older women of the congregation on their husbands. But not this woman. She thinks it’s hilarious (as does he). They’re brilliant.

I cannot wait to hear what the ‘older women of the congregation’ make of you, @Sexnotgender with your labels and your cashmere. 😂

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 22:25

I do have a professional career @AngelinaFibres I don’t mind pitching in with church stuff when I have time but with a full time job and 2 young children I don’t have tonnes of spare time.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 01/04/2022 22:25

And her shortbread @Herejustforthisone Wink

They’re going to hate her Grin

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 22:27

@SirChenjins

And her shortbread *@Herejustforthisone* Wink

They’re going to hate her Grin

They probably will.

We might just stay where we are. The congregation are lovely. No one has tried to steal him yet.

OP posts:
HyggeTygge · 01/04/2022 22:27

It's a vicar interview... and you're trying to impress the boss, i.e. GOD Grin

Actually perhaps Boden would be more appropriate - remembering this classic thread... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1392622-BODEN-the-endless-threads-about-quality-These-have-been-around-since-Dawn-of-time

merryhouse · 01/04/2022 22:28

Well, round yere anyone who would recognise a LV bag wouldn't be on the selection committee

(we're about to go into vacancy again, - possibly suspension of presentation, so as things stand I'm not sure we'd care - and thinking of the likely people I'm pretty certain they wouldn't notice)

If they did they'd probably think "oh good, someone with money backing up the vicar (can we get her to sign a gift aid form)"

Also, @TheHoptimist a candidate with testicles would be more suited to a museum Grin

SirChenjins · 01/04/2022 22:32

We might just stay where we are. The congregation are lovely. No one has tried to steal him yet

If you do decide to go then I hope you both enjoy your new roles - good luck with the interview, you’ll be (and will look) fab Smile

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 22:32

Thanks @SirChenjins Flowers

OP posts:
HyggeTygge · 01/04/2022 22:33

Somehow missed the whole second page of this thread.
The vicar is a key part of the community, of course it makes sense they'd want to meet his wife as well.

I had my money on it being Dragon's Den as a pp suggested!

springtimeishereagain · 01/04/2022 22:37

Where is the new church? If a posh village in the Home Counties, go ahead.

If it's in an impoverished inner city, then no. Go with a cheaper bag and no cashmere...

Original poster
Sexnotgender · 01/04/2022 22:37

@springtimeishereagain

Where is the new church? If a posh village in the Home Counties, go ahead.

If it's in an impoverished inner city, then no. Go with a cheaper bag and no cashmere...

More the first one.
OP posts:
springtimeishereagain · 01/04/2022 22:39

Ok then. I'd go bag (practical) and cashmere but no scarf. Too OTT!

Good luck to you both!

Staffy1 · 01/04/2022 22:40

@chisanunian

I wouldn't judge, no. But then I wouldn't recognise a designer bag if I fell over it. Even if I did, I couldn't bring myself to care one way or the other.
Same here. I don’t know if I should admit I had to Google LV bags to see what the LV stood for.
WildCoasts · 01/04/2022 22:41

Just be yourself. I'd think Vicar's wife just needs to be tidy and presentable.

If you regularly wear designer wear some of the parishioners who aren't doing so well financially might have an issue with it if you're the type of church that pushes tithing (though the use of the word Vicar suggests not). They may feel you can't relate. In the end it will come down to how approachable you are and how you interact with them. Such superficial things shouldn't matter.

S4M3 · 01/04/2022 22:46

@PebbleMillAtOne

Sounds like a probation hearing!! Why would you be at the interview? Who has an interview with their partner there
😂 😂

He up on money laundering charges?

If yes, they will judge you for wearing designer gear.

Whatinthe · 01/04/2022 22:47

As a fellow "vicar's wife" I read the OP and immediately thought you must be as well! You need to be authentic to who you are...so if you wear designer clothes regularly then wear them. Although the demographic of the parish might help with knowing if it's the best option for first impressions. However, if they turn your dh down because of your accessories then it probably isn't somewhere you want to be Grin hope it all goes well!

WonderingWanda · 01/04/2022 22:47

I wouldn't judge you for that, mainly because I wouldn't recogise either item ☹.

The only thing I'd probably judge you for is if you rocked up in something really inappropriate for interview like a ballgown or a bikini. Even them I'd probably just think you were a bit odd.

I'd like to think I am professional enough to consider your husband based on his own merit rather than how you look.

Good luck to your husband for the interview!

S4M3 · 01/04/2022 22:49

Omg. I think you are my neighbour. This is weird.

WonderingWanda · 01/04/2022 22:50

Sorry, didn't read the whole thread and seen it's a Vicar's interview. Definitely avoid bikini's and ballgowns....I think the people i interviewing will be as clueless as me about designer but most definitely won't be the judgey sort anyway!

Mellowyellow222 · 01/04/2022 22:53

Why would they judge you? I assume you are your own person, have your own career and your own money?

I know vicars don’t earn much - but many will have higher earning spouses who can spend their own money as they see fit?

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