What if your aesthetic taste doesn’t match your body?!

[HedgeSparrow]

Inspired by some recent threads on here, I thought I’d reach out and see if anyone shares my perpetual fashion dilemma - one which has been responsible for far too many impulse purchases and unhappy outfits over the years.

What do you do if what you like fashion wise doesn’t really suit you? I love the French-girl classics with a twist kind of style, neat and gamine. Tailoring, neutrals, based around jeans, trousers and knitwear.

However, I’m a large armed, ruddy complexioned Anglo-Saxon, large size 12 with a large bust, hourglass figure, tummy and chunky thighs. All my family look like we’ve just jumped off a Viking longboat but NOT in a Scandi-chic way.

So really my body suits skirts and dresses and I feel more comfortable in them. My body calls for Seasalt tunics. The upshot is I’m either comfortable but feel I don’t look good, or I’m wearing clothes I really like but I’m uncomfortable (and disappointed when I catch a glimpse of myself in them as I just don’t have the right vibe).

Can anyone else relate? How do you square the circle?

I definitely care! I spend a lot of time thinking about this (probably too much). I know I have some of the right ideas (and I work in a creative field so am used to - and very much enjoy - visual analysis). But I've yet to make that leap to applying it properly to myself. Very frustrating. And I've lost count of the amount of money I've spent on 'that'll do' things when I feel fed up.

I can absolutely relate! Turns out smaller boobs aren't the answer if they are teamed with a Massive Arse, you still can't wear all the chic stuff.

But the height thing is what gets me most. Lots of looks just don't quite translate when you are 5ft 4. Especially those that are supposed to suit pear shapes. Sigh.

I understand how you feel. I'm a slim triangle (broad shoulders, slim hips, no real waistline) but with big boobs for my frame, plus I have a long thin neck and a small head. Loads of tops and necklines don't suit me. I can't wear shirts or shirt dresses, high and polo necks are out as are normal t shirts, I look like a weird trussed up Victorian. I can't wear anything with too much detail on the sleeve or the shoulder as it just amplifies the small head/broad shoulder thing. My shoulders however are toned and shapely so I do like to show them off a bit. The boobs ruin the look of a lot of tops, they don't hang right or have one big monoboob. I really struggle with what to wear on top generally, also am a full dress size bigger waist up than from hips down so a lot of dresses are out as they fit great around the hips but won't zip up the back due to boob size.

I am mid height and very slight, small bones, skinny bits.
I also have wispy pale hair and have to be careful i dont stray into Dickensian orphan territory. I can look like a kid playing dress-up so easily, and these much loved boyish styles just look scruffy and shapeless on me.

Sadly I suit indie style mini dresses and cookie type teen wear. It pisses me off but more mature styles and clothing look crap. I won't dress like a teen from the 90's though so have to compromise somewhere. My body still has a very youthful look, which might sound boasty but it is of no fucking use to me.

What i want is a strapping figure, horsey, with solid thighs and impressive boobs that make me look like a goddess . In my dreams i'd wear country stuff, tall boots and cropped barbour type jackets. I love equestrian style and used to have horses but always looked like a diminutive fairy in that gear.

We all want what we can't have, and i agree with the pp who said too many people like the long, boobless look due to fashion mags. I have a shorter version of that figure and suit next to nothing, so it's all in the eye of the beholder.

Story of my life. I am very short with relatively big legs, stomach and a very odd spare tyre around my mid to lower back which doesn’t come round the front (I have the apron but that comes lower for me).

I would love to have a capsule wardrobe of camel, navy and white. Loafers. Plaited belts. A tan. Hair that behaves itself.

I look completely washed out in camel. I have bunions and have to prioritise the ability to walk over style every time. My hair is fine and thin. I bloat horribly in the sun and just burn. I am cold between October and May and have to wear M&S thick thermals to keep warm.

Woe is me.

[quote Soul11Soul]@middleager unless those are designer brands I think you might be on the wrong thread.[/quote]
Sorry! Wrong thread.
Back to this thread....

@WellTidy

Story of my life. I am very short with relatively big legs, stomach and a very odd spare tyre around my mid to lower back which doesn’t come round the front (I have the apron but that comes lower for me).

I would love to have a capsule wardrobe of camel, navy and white. Loafers. Plaited belts. A tan. Hair that behaves itself.

I look completely washed out in camel. I have bunions and have to prioritise the ability to walk over style every time. My hair is fine and thin. I bloat horribly in the sun and just burn. I am cold between October and May and have to wear M&S thick thermals to keep warm.

Woe is me.

I look terrible in beige/caramel, neutral too. It's usual to see women over 40 told that dressing 'classically' like Jennifer Aniston, in a crisp white shirt, beige blazer, jeans and boots is 'timeless'.

Trouble is, none of that suits me. Likewise, it's not my personality type either (I'm an old Indie girl and have never dressed stylishly, I guess).

Further to my earlier tapered paperbag trousers disaster I can now add wide legged denim culottes. In my head they were going to bestow a Springtime in Paris vibe on me - in reality I look like Suzie Myerson from Mrs Maisel.

Short girls: I’m an apple and 6” taller than most of my friends. Those of similar proportions (excepting height) can look cute, curvy and feminine. I look like fucking Hagrid.

I have found the solution to this - I have just decided that mirrors are lying to me constantly, all the time, the bastards. So I wear what feels comfortable and what I think looks nice and if a mirror doesn't agree, then that it's fucking problem. It does involve a fairly sustained level of delusion, but I've had years of practice, so I'm ok with that

@OperationDog I bought an absolute cracker of a blazer in Marks and Spencer a few weeks ago. Perfect length, slightly darted at the waist but still boxy enough to be current looking, looks fab with a tshirt underneath and jeans (I think)

www.marksandspencer.com/tweed-relaxed-checked-blazer/p/clp60543988?image=SD_01_T59_7656J_Y4_X_EC_90&color=BLACKMIX&prevPage=srp

Shame it’s entirely synthetic but it’s soft and light and it’s lined and not jersey (which I don’t like at all) and you can’t win ‘em
all for £70

Oh God, this is me. I love the gamine Kate Moss/Jane Birkin/Sezanne boho aesthetic but I'm shaped like Betty Boop so it makes me look like a hobbit in drag. Or, despite being a size 8-10, Ma Larkin/a Women's Land Army sergeant if I get it really wrong.

I've had some luck recently with the whole 80s revival look (a la Betty Gilpin in Glow). Aggressively belted high waists, bodysuits and peg trousers suit me, but as soon as that look is out of fashion fuck knows what I'll be wearing.

I also don't have a personality to match my looks, which confuses people. They see big boobs and lots of blonde hair and assume that I'll be fluffy and bubbly when actually I am grouchy and a bit snippy.

I absolutely LOVE 50s style - cinched in waists and big, petticoat skirts. I used to be able to get away with them (I think) but after 2 pregnancies, a c-section and too many years of stuffing my face my waist is no more and they look horrendous now.

Although to be honest these days if it's not stretchy I don't want anything to do with it!

Yes. Oversized shirts and jumpers with long long looong pencil thin legs is what I dream of
But I have short thick legs, and I look like and egg when I wear those outfits

Oh and cool, linen shift dresses. I look like I'm wearing a sack

I read all the time how denim jackets and leather jackets are timeless classics for everyone. Except I look like I've been thrown out of a biker gang.
See also country chic (like the scary hunt master), and floaty floral frocks (Les Dennis hoiking his arms under the bust).
I am built like an ideal farmers wife - tall, broad and strong. Ideal for tucking a pig under each arm, not so much for fashion

Oh this is so me... I'd like to be a 70s hippie in summer, all long, slim limbs, long hair in Gunne Sax and Ossie Clark.

Sadly I'm a sturdy, big-boobed size 18, a bit short, my hair looks best in a bob and I couldn't look floaty if I tried.

Oh same here. Short and massive boobs. I want to be elegant scandi chic and my body wants me to dress like Kirstie Allsop. Who looks good but not my style.
As a compromise I wear a lot of black shirt dresses.

Your comment made me laugh, OP. I always say that I don't seem to have evolved as much as other people and have a greater percentage of cart horse with me and, yes, I know cart horses aren't part of human DNA but it's what I feel and look like.
I swear that every meeting I go to every other woman is in cigarette pants or culottes with a chic jumper or a bright blouse. They look fabulous. Smart, entirely appropriate & effortless. First, why do they not feel the cold? How come they have bare ankles at this time of year? Secondly, why are they all at least 3 inches taller than me? Thirdly, why do none of them have a backside?
And that's before we get onto my mad hair & the fact I go bright red as soon as I exercise (ie walk at anything faster than a plod).

My dd (aged 22) preaches to wear what you love not what the mainstream says looks good on you or suits you.

I have found that there is a lot of freedom and joy in this approach.

My concern is that clothes just aren't designed to fit women any more they're designed to fit a flat chested, broad shouldered, stomachless physique with unnaturally long legs. TBH it seems like some designers' fantasy of what a woman should look like and what physique clothes look best on. Women seem to have been forgotten in the mix.

Also things don't need to "flatter" you

Yep. My Pinterest is filled with outfits that look absolutely amazing…alas, on someone else.

First, why do they not feel the cold? How come they have bare ankles at this time of year? Secondly, why are they all at least 3 inches taller than me? Thirdly, why do none of them have a backside

This - every time this! It’s freezing here until June and then again from end Aug. My wardrobe in order to keep warm during those 9 months consists of fleecy tights, fingerless gloves, three jumpers and a bobble hat - hardly conducive to effortless style.

Yes I can relate.
I'm a 57 year old podgy mum who thinks I suit the look 17 year old skateboarder
I know the truth is I dont so I just wear a pair of Van's and a hoody now and then to satisfy that fashion craving!!