What if your aesthetic taste doesn’t match your body?!

[HedgeSparrow]

Inspired by some recent threads on here, I thought I’d reach out and see if anyone shares my perpetual fashion dilemma - one which has been responsible for far too many impulse purchases and unhappy outfits over the years.

What do you do if what you like fashion wise doesn’t really suit you? I love the French-girl classics with a twist kind of style, neat and gamine. Tailoring, neutrals, based around jeans, trousers and knitwear.

However, I’m a large armed, ruddy complexioned Anglo-Saxon, large size 12 with a large bust, hourglass figure, tummy and chunky thighs. All my family look like we’ve just jumped off a Viking longboat but NOT in a Scandi-chic way.

So really my body suits skirts and dresses and I feel more comfortable in them. My body calls for Seasalt tunics. The upshot is I’m either comfortable but feel I don’t look good, or I’m wearing clothes I really like but I’m uncomfortable (and disappointed when I catch a glimpse of myself in them as I just don’t have the right vibe).

Can anyone else relate? How do you square the circle?

Oh yes... I love delicate jewellery, flowing chiffon dresses etc. I'm quite tall and would need to lose 3 stone to be "willowy", maxi dresses make me look like a battleship in full sail :(

This thread was made for me. I like the same style as you, love Audrey Hepburn type vibe etc, however as a tall size 14 hourglass with an unfortunate saggy stomach, I cannot get away with the chic Audrey Hepburn style.

I would love to be petite and dainty!!

Joining up, although I'm much better since I had my colours & style 'done'. Now I can stop myself from buying the gorgeous stuff that would suit someone 5 stone lighter & 20 years younger. I do agree that you should wear what you like but ime you will feel better in something that actually suits you

Ha ha I'm also a tall 14 hourglass with wobbly stomach!

I find it such a hard shape to dress. If I try and look smart I look like a dishevelled police officer. Dresses so often look mumsy or matronly. I can do bodycon OK but have no desire to walk around sucking my stomach in all day and I value comfort over glamour.

I end up wearing baggy, more masculine stuff and inevitably look much larger than I actually am because you can't tell I've actually got a waist.

@SirChenjins

Further to my earlier tapered paperbag trousers disaster I can now add wide legged denim culottes. In my head they were going to bestow a Springtime in Paris vibe on me - in reality I look like Suzie Myerson from Mrs Maisel.

This! In my head, I'm Mrs Maisel, but in reality I'm Suzie, her height and shape. And as much as I love Suzie, I want to have the shape of Mrs Maisel, wear cigarette trousers and a headscarf with a tight polo neck.

Can't wear rings, I look like Del Boy.

Can't wear long flowing coats/macs. Look like Tom Baker as Dr Who or Simon Pegg in World's End.

My tribe! I hear those of you who say your personality doesn't suit their looks either. Though I am trying to embrace my hay-baling ancestry it doesn't really square with my city-based life, and I am not the warm, homely and cosy person my soft limbs and pillow-esque bosom suggest .

Tinymrscollings thank you! I'll have a look.

Yep, can totally relate to this. I’m 4ft 11’ with huge boobs and pretty much no waist. Anything that goes round the boobs drowns me everywhere else. Dresses and skirts suit me but I hate them and they don’t work with my lifestyle. In my head I’m tall and willowy and look great in my chosen outfit of band t-shirts, skinny jeans and DMs. The reality, not so much.

I want to wear jumpsuits, the nice tailored ones that look chic but comfy.

But at 5ft 4in, with no boobs and a flabby belly it just doesnt work. I'm a size 14 but its ALL lower belly wobble.

So joggers and jumpers are my go to.

I imagine most people/women feel this. I’d love to wear edgy, understated, unflattering clothes. The kind that glowing-skinned, alabaster-boned models look so great in. I’d love to look good scowling.

I actually suit girly dresses and look best with a big welcoming smile on my face.
But at least I look good in some things, I have to comfort myself with that.

@SirChenjins

Further to my earlier tapered paperbag trousers disaster I can now add wide legged denim culottes. In my head they were going to bestow a Springtime in Paris vibe on me - in reality I look like Suzie Myerson from Mrs Maisel.

I've got to say, some of Suzie's looks could really work for me. I can't believe I've never thought about it before. Probably because I've been moon-eyeing Midge's wardrobe.

I had a "who brought shrek" moment today. I was walking through a room, didn't realise there was a camera behind me, projecting onto a screen in front. I was happy with what I was wearing when I left the house

I have this image of myself in my head where I'm looking gorgeous in a vintage lace maxi summer dress, preferably photographed on a sunny meadow or possibly on a market in some quaint medieval town, looking all romantic and summery..
Whenever I try one of those dresses, I look like I have just escaped from an asylum and for some in-explainable reason wrapped myself in a pair of ruffled curtains.

Mm relatable! What I want to wear...Audrey Hepburn...isn't quite what I end up wearing.

I think the answer is in the details, getting the right neckline for example. I think you do have to dress for your body shape to an extent and aim for an overall coherence.

I've had a grudging realisation recently that I need to give up on floaty, floral dresses which I loved in my youth and accept that my big-framed hourglass is better suited to more figure-hugging stuff. Which is annoying as I want to be boho and not va va voom. Dammit.

As a musician l have always liked the idea of the lady harpist - tall, slim, beautiful floaty long dresses with slender arms and ankles. I also like the idea of the petite, gamine shape (my daughter is a good example of this) and being able to wear anything l choose knowing it will suit me. Unfortunately, at very average height and medium size but very pear shaped with an enormous bottom and hips and legs that are an insult to tree trunks, l can more easily be described as the sturdy, typically English shape. I suit long tops over trousers and empire line dresses best. Leggings or thick tights are necessary to draw attention away from my legs unless I wear maxi length. How l would love to wear a straight, knee-length skirt with sheer tights.

@Violinist64 - my DD is a harpist. Your comments reminded me of the time we went to get her first (rental) harp. Walked into the shop, turned a corner and there were about 40 concert harps in various forms of gorgeousness. On a platform at the far end was the most elaborate big gold harp I'd ever seen being played by a very glamorous lady with a mane of long blonde hair that could have come out of a shampoo ad and a pair of fuschia stilettos. DD was transfixed. All concert performances since have been dictated with how she can mimic the look.

@angelsandinsects

Your comment made me laugh, OP. I always say that I don't seem to have evolved as much as other people and have a greater percentage of cart horse with me and, yes, I know cart horses aren't part of human DNA but it's what I feel and look like. I swear that every meeting I go to every other woman is in cigarette pants or culottes with a chic jumper or a bright blouse. They look fabulous. Smart, entirely appropriate & effortless. First, why do they not feel the cold? How come they have bare ankles at this time of year? Secondly, why are they all at least 3 inches taller than me? Thirdly, why do none of them have a backside? And that's before we get onto my mad hair & the fact I go bright red as soon as I exercise (ie walk at anything faster than a plod).

I suspect my genetic mix is less the Ashkenazi-English Traveller-Scot-posh Grandma who eloped with the stable lad that the birth certificates claim and more of the Percheron-Vanner-Dartmoor-Exmoor with a smidge of human for show, too.

I'm always baffled why they have bare ankles at all. Not because of the cold (although that would be a concern were it not for my body's attempts at producing bloody feathering - less shaving, more mowing involved) - but because, despite being a perfectly normal height of 16.5 hands, 15.5 at the shoulder the 'ankle grazers' bought in a short fitting still reach the top of my foot great clodhopping hooves

I prefer pink/ dressing gown that are very warm, then normal day wear think diy style trousers, and outfit but more mission impossible style almost like I'm on an espionage mission.

I’m often bare-ankled, apart from in the very deepest depths of winter, because I’m vain. I carry any extra weight on my hips and thighs. A flash of ankle between trousers and shoes balances things out somehow. An ankle boot has the dead opposite effect and makes me look all hips, so it’s either knee high boots and skinny jeans (not a look that is really my style) or thermal leggings, ankle grazer trousers and shoes. I’m a chilly person in general, full thermals most of the winter, but I can deal with an inch of ankle.

OP, not sure if the previous posts you mention are the ones about Kibbe body types, but if you haven’t looked at this already, it’s definitely worth reading about.

There are loads of articles online, but I like this lady as she includes galleries of outfits and suggestions for each “body type” (no affiliation here, just like her explanations and examples)

gabriellearruda.com/kibbe-body-test-with-pictures/

gabriellearruda.com/kibbe-body-types-clothing-recommendations/

It definitely helped me understand why I don’t suit the Scandi look I admire

@SleepWoof

I've had a grudging realisation recently that I need to give up on floaty, floral dresses which I loved in my youth and accept that my big-framed hourglass is better suited to more figure-hugging stuff. Which is annoying as I want to be boho and not va va voom. Dammit.

I relate to this.

So often I think I've seen a pic of a tall hourglass shaped woman (which I am too) but then if it's a celebrity I will see her next to a man and realise she's actually teeny. Or if it's an underwear model, there will be a caption telling you she is size 28 FF so is also, basically, teeny. I know teeny people have their own hang ups but in my mind it would allow me to wear anything.

I was complaining about this the other day. I would love to be dainty and short. Instead I'm tall, curvy and strong looking. With an absolute resting bitch face. I put a gorgeous jump suit on the other day, got severe camal toe. Any cute summer dresses are always really short because I am so leggy. I know some people would love my figure but we always want what we can't have

I love that Kanye West style tight Lycra from head to toe.

In my head sleek, curvaceous, ready to scale a tree or partake in parkour.

Reality - spray-painted hippo with extra jiggle.