What if your aesthetic taste doesn’t match your body?!

[HedgeSparrow]

Inspired by some recent threads on here, I thought I’d reach out and see if anyone shares my perpetual fashion dilemma - one which has been responsible for far too many impulse purchases and unhappy outfits over the years.

What do you do if what you like fashion wise doesn’t really suit you? I love the French-girl classics with a twist kind of style, neat and gamine. Tailoring, neutrals, based around jeans, trousers and knitwear.

However, I’m a large armed, ruddy complexioned Anglo-Saxon, large size 12 with a large bust, hourglass figure, tummy and chunky thighs. All my family look like we’ve just jumped off a Viking longboat but NOT in a Scandi-chic way.

So really my body suits skirts and dresses and I feel more comfortable in them. My body calls for Seasalt tunics. The upshot is I’m either comfortable but feel I don’t look good, or I’m wearing clothes I really like but I’m uncomfortable (and disappointed when I catch a glimpse of myself in them as I just don’t have the right vibe).

Can anyone else relate? How do you square the circle?

Preaching to the choir mate. Our only difference is that I'm a short arse, so Celt rather than Viking.

I have no answers. I've wasted so so much money over the years and now I'm in my late 40s I'm bored of it. I gave up totally over lockdown but my god I was comfy.

I did do a huge try on in John Lewis last month picking up stuff from brands I've never tried (Toast was especially amusing, I looked like a sofa).

Don't know the answer but feel the pain

God yes. I'm obsessed with the kids of clothes that suit tall, elegant, southern Europe chic. My reality is pasty, fat, short arse. I honestly have these in an online basket and look at them wistfully daily...

I’ve made the mistake of buying things I’ve seen other women wearing well, and not being able to carry them off myself.

Your description sounds like me OP except I have toned arms and am a bit bigger (size 14, occasionally 12).

Dresses suit me so I like the summer when I can just throw on a dress. I tan easily too. But I wish I had the leggy narrow-hips-and-B-cup figure that everything seems to look good on.

I'm fast losing patience with all these rules about what does and doesn't suit you. I'm sure they were only ever intended to be a useful guide, not a straight jacket. And I really hate the way they encourage us all to be hyper self critical. If I like it, I wear it.

Have you been to somewhere like JL and booked a personal shopper? They listen to what style you want to try and then find you clothes that fit, and look good. They are usually really good at what they do. Maybe you are looking at the wrong brands. I used to be a size 8-10 and 5yrs post kids I am a definite 12, with saggy boobs and what I like to call a muffin top but is actually post-partie non-elastic acted skin I haven’t bothered to do anything about. Out of sheer stubbornness I kept buying size 10 clothes and in the same style as before my wedding (personal trainer and diets and goooood figure). I looked a mess. A personal shopper politely told me to get a grip and popped me into some size 12 clothes from brands I would never have considered, with different cuts and I looked great! Absolutely my style but just made for my body…. I wouldn’t have even known I could have my style from those other brands… I just never looked at them. An idea??

Me! I'm 5ft1 inch, size 14 with a big bust, stomach and bum.

In my head I want to wear jeans and a skinny rib T-Shirt and Adidas Gazelles, like Louise Wener in the 90s from Sleeper.
Long wide legged trouser suit like Trinny? Forget it!
Bionic Woman style jumpsuit? No chance. I no longer own trousers or T-shirts.....I can't do casual. I need maintenance...

In reality I need dresses, tailored jackets, accessories and heels to look vaguely acceptable

Could you compromise with a chic, really well cut jacket? Well cut waistcoats wd also work well for your shape and have those kinds of neat, clean lines?

Ghosted
Dumped

Sorry one more...

Locked in or let's lock that in (more business speak).

Yes me too. I keep seeing videos of elegant women in beautiful monochrome outfits with oversized coats and big sunglasses. They have lots of rings on their fingers. I'm a chubby short arse... Literally nothing suits me. And when I wear rings they look awful on my stumpy wee fingers.

@middleager unless those are designer brands I think you might be on the wrong thread.

Similar dilemma in that my taste works with my body, more or less, but not with my lifestyle. I long to be elegant and floaty in jewel tones, but I'm a practical crop scientist - jeans and fleeces is what I need to be wearing. Can still do the jewel tones with a bit of care.

Oh I hear you! GG chest does not align with my dream outfits

I love a peplum, but your backside isn’t supposed to fill it. I wear A-line everything and feel like a circus tent.

Yes. Giant Boobs mean I can't pull off half the stuff I would like to wear.

I have compromised by learning how to make some of my own clothes in styles I like with adjustments for boobage.

@Floisme

I'm fast losing patience with all these rules about what does and doesn't suit you. I'm sure they were only ever intended to be a useful guide, not a straight jacket. And I really hate the way they encourage us all to be hyper self critical. If I like it, I wear it.

I agree with you in principle and I'm happy to break "rules" when it works in my favour, but when I try on something I love on a hanger and it's either uncomfortable or unflattering, even to my sometimes generous eye, I know I won't feel good in it so there's no point.

I just accept what I look good in. I love a bit of a country vibe. Tweed and jeans with wellies would be my go to but i am another one who actually looks better in dresses and tights. I content myself with wearing the material I like, just cut in a different style. So I have a ‘vibe’ rather than the actual look. I also use the colours as inspiration. So I might buy a dress in ‘tweedy’ colours and accessorise with a brown scarf for example.

*All my family look like we’ve just jumped off a Viking longboat but NOT in a Scandi-chic way.

*

Gah yes I hate this! How I would love to look amazing in baggy jumpers and oversized t-shirts a la those androgynous looking models but I am short and not straight up and down so I need fitted clothes if I don't want to look like a dumpling. Still wear them, just don't look good in them 👎 not sure what the answer is. Learn not to care or rethink style🤷🏼‍♀️

Think yourself lucky that you and your family of Valkyries have been so blessed.

I decided to look 'a bit smarter' (ie, not like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards) one day at work where the dress code for the day was 'casual'. Dragged my old pair of boots out for the occasion as the trainers were absolutely knackered. Pair of blue jeans. T shirt rose up a bit too high, so stuck a shirt on over the top. Too hot for a coat or jumper, too cold for nothing, so put on the work blazer, which happens to be in a nice greeny-brown that suits my colouring. Bit blustery, so quickly tied my hair back.

As I walked into the meeting, I caught sight of myself in a window.

I looked like I'd parked my pony round the back of the conference hall.

I feel this so much. In my head all I want is 1990s Kate Moss, jeans and white tee, gamine, simple elegance.

In reality I'm a short arse apple with massive boobs and everything looks ridiculous.

Interesting how many of us feel this way!

@Floisme I agree with the main point you make, but I do think different shapes of people do objectively look better and feel more comfy in some styles and cuts. And if you feel a bit wrong it can be hard to feel like you’re pulling off a certain look whether you objectively like it or not.

I think the personal shopper idea is a good one - I do tend to gravitate to the same brands so perhaps I need an objective eye to challenge my perceptions and suggest some new things.

Feel like this all the time. Love fashion and clothes but feel like the majority of it looks shite on me. 5ft 4, size 14 with a mum tum and legs like a pit pony

Oh yes!! I could rock a Jessica rabbit dress.. all boobs and hips but they put them on the wrong person!
I must have stood in the wrong queue
I adore clothes than require small boobs and no hips.. it's a battle I tell ya

Yes this is me. I love make up on other women too but I feel like people would think I didn’t know how weird I look. I love bright colours but again can’t draw attention to myself for fear of ridicule.