Rude man made me hate an outfit I was proud of

[NancyIris]

Bit crap with clothes, generally in running kit or jeans and shirt (wfh fulltime). Today taking Dd 13 Christmas shopping I thought I would dress up (for me) so wore white shirt with frilly collar, red cord dungarees www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/playsuits-jumpsuits/burgundy-cord-dungaree-crop-jumpsuit/p/802092667 and boots.
Having lunch I got up and walked past a table where a man said ‘Excuse me, you’ve got a tag hanging down the back of your dress’. Me (mortified) ‘Oh how embarrassing! Thanks for telling me!’ Pull off tag ASAP and shove in bin. Man: ‘It is embarrassing to have paid that much for that dress.’
Just walked away but felt shit all day. Was it a terrible outfit? FWIW I am a size 10 and flat chested.

I long ago learned to day "just as well I don't give a shit what you think isnt it' to blokes where quite frankly don't give a shit about what they think. I have to say it diesnt go down well but I dont care.
Fuck 'em!

And?

What did you think of his clothes? You didn't mention them in your OP.
Was he was a bit drab?

If you like the outfit, that's the only thing that matters.

I bet you looked fab. Don't give it another thought. He was a dick.

That’s bonkers! How much does he spend on clothes to think they’re expensive?!!!

What a horrible eejit.

Say a prayer that he shits himself in public then never think about him again.

I personally love those dungarees.

I had some twat say something to the effect that my jeans would look better with more arse padding them out. I told him I couldn’t really fault his shirt but it looked like his belly was going to pop the buttons off.

My go-to response for rude strangers is this:

‘Wow, you must be a real joy to live with!’

I can remember it quickly and it works in almost any situation (without provoking a fight). You’d be surprised how often the people with them agree with me, which turns the screws nicely. If they live alone, well they walk away knowing why they do!

Other strangers around have been known to agree with me too… out loud… which cheers me up a lot!

Quips aside, it might be time to explore why you’re giving idiot strangers the power to hurt you so much? You can take steps (counselling, meditations, etc) that make you more resilient to this sort of thing? And able to role-model it for your kids? Idiot strangers exist in great numbers, but we can develop the superpowers to ignore them.

@NancyIris

I guess he couldn’t tell the difference. They are quite wide legged and a bit like a pinafore. I wore tights under and ankle boots. Was an inch or two gap before dungarees. Maybe would have looked better with trainers.

You sound very fashion savvy. If it would have looked better with trainers I'm sure that's what you would have chosen to wear. Don't let a petty stranger undermine your choices.

I visualise these kind of exchanges as them trying to throw me a little ball of malice.

Like tennis, I usually just bat it straight back to them.

I would have looked him pointedly and slowly up and down, and laughed "Really?"

If I were feeling kinder, I might attempt to provoke some introspection on his part by saying something like, "I wonder what made you feel the need to say that?"

TLDR: it's not you, it's him

I'd have looked him up and down, laughed and said " oh bless and you think you're in a position to be giving out fashion advice. "

What a twat. I bet you looked fantastic. The man was 'negging' you - it's something dickheads do when they see an attractive woman.

If it's any consolation, last summer I did I 5 hour train journey with a visible tag on my dress - and the tag was from the RSPCA charity shop! Thankfully, I stopped caring about that sort of thing after I turned 40.

That sounds adorable exactly as you have described it, don't give it another thought. I'm going to copy you and get something similar!

He probably thought he was being funny and hadn't even really clocked the price. Idiot...people don't think about the impact their words can have.

Sorry to hear you had this experience @NancyIris . He was just an arsehole. x

Maybe he meant it the other way around? - that it was potentially embarrassing because it looked more expensive than it was.

In any case it doesn’t matter what he said or what he meant, it’s a great outfit and I’m sure you looked great in it.

I'm finding this thread confusing. Why did he say it was a dress?

It's obviously his go-to in his regular habit of trying to make his own pathetic, awkward ego a bit bigger by putting women down: just his well-rehearsed Neanderthal comment to throw without thinking at apparently-confident women. One small step up from "Your Mum" - like 'hilarious' teenagers. If the tag hadn't been visible, he quite probably would still have made the same 'not worth it' comment based on what he 'reckoned' it 'probably' cost.

Rather like Richie in Bottom, and his "That's a smashing blouse you've got on", as something to say to all women, regardless of whether or not they were wearing a blouse. At least, I suppose, Richie was trying to say a nice thing - still not particularly a character to strive to emulate, though!

If he can't tell the difference between dungarees and a dress and also thinks £28 an unspeakably outrageous amount for the main constituent of an outfit, he really isn't worthy of anything more than pity.

Poor man only succeeded in showing up his own ignorance, given that (1) it's not a dress and (2) that's clearly not expensive.

If he thought those (lovely) dungarees were a dress, then I would disregard his opinion completely.

Console yourself with the thought that regardless of what he wears, he'll still be a pathetic loser deep down inside.

I’m flabbergasted at the rudeness of that man! Wtf!!
Your outfit sounds lovely.

What an ignorant, vile man. I love the dungarees ( and just love dungarees in general) and right now they’re back in fashion again. Your outfit sounds really good.

Sadly, I've witnessed many women doing this to other women though.

Last Wednesday I was walking across a busy road and a woman called out her car window “I love your Run & Fly dungarees. First time I’ve ever had a compliment by anyone on my outfit while I’ve been out and about. How she even spotte the little label was even more impressive as it was starting to get dark out.

Don’t let a rude idiot stop you enjoying whatever you like to wear.

You should have said ‘it’s embarrassing that think being nasty to a random woman is ok’

Was he with anyone else OP, if that man was on my table I would have definitely said something 😡

@notacooldad

I long ago learned to day "just as well I don't give a shit what you think isnt it' to blokes where quite frankly don't give a shit about what they think. I have to say it diesnt go down well but I dont care. Fuck 'em!

‘Do I know you?’ ‘No’ ‘but you think it’s ok to comment on a random woman?… okaayyyyy’

Is generally my go to phrase.

Outfit sounds amazing, I want to know more about the shirt, I have loads of dungarees and struggle with shirts to go with them.

I had a guy come to the door once to sell me drive cleaning, gutter clearing etc. Mid sell he just said “nice baby grow” and then carried on.
Shock end to the story… I didn’t hire him.

*misses point of thread and goes to see if they are available in my size.....

I think they are lovely.

I take it the man who commented was dressed as if he was at the cutting edge of fashion??

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

What a twat. I bet you looked fantastic. The man was 'negging' you - it's something dickheads do when they see an attractive woman.

If it's any consolation, last summer I did I 5 hour train journey with a visible tag on my dress - and the tag was from the RSPCA charity shop! Thankfully, I stopped caring about that sort of thing after I turned 40.

Thanks @ArblemarchTFruitbat that makes me feel better! Love a charity shop bargain when I can. I am also over 40 so clearly time to develop a thicker skin!