If you used to be ‘alternative’

[Sleepyhungryfattyanddoc]

What do you wear now?

As a teen / early 20s I liked lots of black, lots of ‘gothic’emo looks. As I got older I obviously moved away from it
But now my look is just blah and doesn’t feel like me at all. I never have an outfit to put on that I actually like or feel great in, just ‘ok’ at best
I’m sick of never feeling good or excited about my outfit, or just feeling like ‘me’

I’m obviously older and a mum, I don’t want to be dressing head to toe ‘goth’ but I don’t know how to find what my slightly more ‘sophisticated’ look may be

Yes, my style has evolved and now I can afford better clothes, but I still can't be classed as "normal" by any means. :)

I totally switched and went full on stepford wife 😆 wear what makes you happy

I've always had a kind of punk-alternative-grunge kind of look, it's just evolved over the years (in my 50s now). Day-to-day these days I wear combats/tees, but for something a bit more dressy like a pp I like places like Psylo - this top gives a fitted tee a bit more of a funky edge, for example. I still buy from places like Cyberdog, but again the more restrained end of their clothing - so a tshirt like this one for going out for example.

Cyberdog 🥰 all my tshirts have died from there, miss them lots. 😭

I always used to shop in Black Rose next to cyberdog
I still have a few bits, it was so expensive I really looked after it!
Went to take a peek a few years ago, but alas, it was gone

This is an interesting thread! I was always wearing black as a teenager - goth, grunge, alternative, I don’t know what the label would be - but moved away from it and dressed more mumsy when the children were little. It was like I had to fit into this supposedly idealised mother role and the clothes had to go with it.
Now the children are much older and I have more time on my hand, at 38 I’ve started to experiment and dress like however the heck I want again. How I dress was always a creative outlet. WFH during COVID had encouraged that - I have a serious professional job that requires plain clothes but how I dress doesn’t matter so much in videos. Would be interesting to see how I go back to work in person again and still maintain my personal style somewhat
I feel like normal black clothes with a little bit of edgy accessories is just enough to make the outfit feel like my own

Three recent outfits - pretty much all high street clothes and just added more “edgy” accessories, doc martens etc

I'd quite like a harness actually! Those outfits are fab.

I dress kind of a mess but I likes it🤣

I was goth/grunge, but dark academia is actually how I've dressed for the last fifteen years or so, and about 90% of my wardrobe, so it's nice it's a "thing" now!
I have to be fairly formal for work, so it works for me. Most of my clothes are secondhand tbh, with just plain basic t-shirts (black, grey, navy) and plain black hoodies bought new (though I am now acquiring these from my youngest, as he has just grown taller than me!)
DMs or converse on feet for home, mostly boots for work.

I used to be pretty grunge slash britpop- velvet miniskirts, dms, was obsessed with a giant blue mohair cardigan of my mum's. Had a lot of piercings at university.

I've eventually gone down the cos/arket scandi route, but partly because I'm tall and those brands fit well. I like angular jewellery. I'm totally craving a pair of cherry red DMs now though and maybe I'll do it.

I was all about fishnets, leatherette minis, gladiator boots and even a PVC/corsetted domme look at club nights back in the day - and to think I thought my figure wasn't great then?! 🤨

I've never stopped wearing black despite being over 40 and overweight. I'm a bit more lagenlook these days - think goth Gudrun Sjoden ensembles done on the cheap. DMs don't fit like they used to so I wear similar boots and flat or flatform Mary Jane shoes. I'd been living in my DM Nartila sandals recently teamed with long basic H&M dresses or shorter harem trousers with long loose fitting camis and kaftans for a bit of "float". All black, of course.

But YY to the subtleties such as groomed nails in darker reds/burgundies or even gunmetal shades with some interesting jewellery. Can't imagine keeping my nails as long as I used to any more!

You look fab @Enola8391

Thanks everyone lots to consider
@Enola8391 you look amazing!

@ERFFER you’re right, I’m not sure I ever learned to do my makeup in a non goth/grunge sort of way
So I’m either no makeup now. Or a very messy Smokey eye and they’re my only options! It’s not particularly flattering to my older skin!

I use black liquid eyeliner on top, lots of mascara on top, a little white around tear duct and if I'm going for it a smoky eyeshadow on lid crease followed by a flick of liquid eye liner (I keep old liquid eye liner to do this as not too dark or use pencil) Lipstick is either pink or bright red. I also use a brow eyeshadow from body shop as mine are grey as a badger now.

I'm the same. I used to be alternative-ish in a more colourful sort of way. Now I just wear jeans and a jumper. Recently I've bought some cool sweatshirts and baseball tops in bright colours which are very much what 16 year old me would have worn and it's surprising how 'me' they feel.

You could try some jersey dresses with more gothy tights which would be comfortable when looking after the kids but still hint at your style. Try Popsy, Joanie, Yumi. I highly recommend shopping on Vinted as it's so cheap you can experiment a bit.

I think if you had more alternative shoes it would help define your whole look. So you could wear basic jeans and jumper but biker boots or patterned shoes and look alternative.

Moshulu had some gorgeous purple boots, maybe a bit on the mummy side but very comfy!

I've been lurking on this thread since the start and I must thank you all for kicking me up the bum and making me realise that just because I'm a mum and older doesn't mean I can't still wear black and be a bit "alternative." I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I have spent years trying to wear floral dresses and trendy shit and it makes me thoroughly bloody miserable. I have 2 things in my wardrobe that make me smile - I hate the rest. On the back of this thread I've decided to just wear what makes me happy and embrace it hahaha. Don't know where I lost myself to such a degree I started caring TBH! I was a goth for many, many, many years - for those mentioning cyberdog I used to run it 😊

Thankyou all. I shall resume my not giving a shit however the makeup won't be making a come back 😂

I'm one of those rare breed that wear whatever I like for the mood I'm in. Someone once said, he never knew what i was. I replied that my pigeon would never me holed. 😉

Be

Hell bunny is always a good place to look too

I have been reading the thread with interest and just bought a few bits on eBay. Any ideas for some indie winter boots that are not £££. I love dms but a bit out of my price range now !

There’s some nice boots here, obviously not leather, but I had a pair last winter and they’re decent quality for the price. Actually, the whole shop is quite good for lagenlook type clothes that are a bit more edgy. I like a lot of the coats, jackets and tops.

www.laundryb.com/boots/

@Coniferhedge they look perfect - thank you 🙏🏻

@vestastilly I used the have a great pair of red boots from Oxygen shoes. I've just been and ordered another pair as they have a sale on. Website is atrocious though.
www.oxygenshoes.co.uk/epages/BT3376.mobile/sec8ee6b0546b/?ObjectPath=/Shops/BT3376/Categories/Womens/Boots