If you used to be ‘alternative’

[Sleepyhungryfattyanddoc]

What do you wear now?

As a teen / early 20s I liked lots of black, lots of ‘gothic’emo looks. As I got older I obviously moved away from it
But now my look is just blah and doesn’t feel like me at all. I never have an outfit to put on that I actually like or feel great in, just ‘ok’ at best
I’m sick of never feeling good or excited about my outfit, or just feeling like ‘me’

I’m obviously older and a mum, I don’t want to be dressing head to toe ‘goth’ but I don’t know how to find what my slightly more ‘sophisticated’ look may be

Just looked at The Kooples website - ouch, it's a bit pricey.

£5 dress from H&M, on the other hand... yay.

I was goth/alternative when younger and now try and generally have a ageing rock chick thing going on, I'm older than you though. I like the style of Jo Whiley, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Emmanuelle Alt.

My look in summer, black linen trousers or shorts, band t-shirt or black silk top for evening, statement necklace and bracelet/rings (Angel Rocks have fab stuff and I often buy similar stuff but cheaper). Silver or unusual coloured/animal print sandals or trainers. Winter is usually skinny jeans, black chunky boots and big cardis, I love knitted cardis with hoods .

I use Pinterest to put ideas together, often pick very expensive things and then sometimes I see bargains that are similar. H&M often has good stuff, as does TKMaxx if you sift through the rubbish.

Mostly wear black with a wee bit colour, usually in shoes or bag

I have my DMs, converse, biker boots, leggings, sometimes dresses or skirts over the top of leggings (have to be above knee though), or long tees, hoodies, long hoodies, sometimes boho dresses or skirts. Tend to mix it all up, and don't follow rules, mixture of more expensive and cheaper items, no make up these days, but a great hairstyle. I'm nearly 50 and I don't think my look has changed that much since I was 18 tbh.

What kinds of things did you used to wear @Sleepyhungryfattyanddoc?

My friend has always been a goth, but now she's more of an expensive looking, sophisticated goth, rather than a teenage one.

She wears leather look leggings, pencil skirts with a fitted top, column dresses and DMs, band tees and skinny jeans.

Which isn't that different to the old days, but now somehow it's more grown up.

The difference might be grooming. She is always "done" with glossy hair and dark lips and nails. She still has pretty much the same full fringe hair style, but her brows were thinner in the 90s. (Weren't everybody's?)

I wore the baggiest of baggy jeans and hoodies, vans or skirts with stripy pop socks, fishnets, see through tops Adams Family style, tons of piercings etc in my teens and early 20’s.

Now I wear midi dresses with sandals or converse in summer and my DM’s in autumn and winter, mom jeans with baggy tops or fitted vest tops. I basically look like everyone else now 🙄

just checked out the kooples!!! none of that stuff is any more interesting or exciting than stuff a fraction of the price from chainstores like h&m or primark

My friend looks gorgeous in high neck black victorian style blouses for nights out and dresses like that. No overly pale make up but red lipstick. She always looks gorgeous. Look at Nick Cave's wife's company The Vampire's Wife for inspiration for beautiful dresses.

Another vote for leather look leggings. They look great with black/white trainers for the school run or out and about.

Slightly off topic but, has anyone here found that they get nasty comments for wearing fishnets?

I've always loved shorts and tshirts/tank tops. I still go that route lol. But I'd love to emo it up a bit like the old days. But back then I loved fun tights but twice I wore fishnets and had a random (once a girl and once a guy) in public shout 'slut!' when I did and it so put me off. Shame as I think they are really cute with shorts. I should say that I was in shorts one of those times and a knee length dress the other so not slutty at all in my opinion. But fishnets seem to get a bad stigma :(

I still dress alternative but just dont have the time for the accessories and makeup anymore. My clothes are all black/purple/red and I have band shirts and jumpers. Buy a lot from EMP, always a discount code about.

We had an alternative 'what are you wearing today' thread a while ago but it died.

I tend to predominantly wear black, with some grey and white. I buy a lot of my basics at H & M, including jeans, and spend more money on accessories or a stand out item. In the winter I live in boots (DMs mainly, but not always the classic style) and in the summer it is black flip flops, DM sandals or Superga canvas pumps. I would say my look generally is a more laid back goth look, I very rarely wear make up, but if I do it's a heavy smokey eye with a lighter lip.

I definitely lost my 'look' for a while, but have spent time trying to get back to a look that expresses me and that I am comfortable in, which I feel I have achieved. I feel as comfortable in this look as I did in types of things I wore in my late teen/early 20s, and I am mid thirties.

I was quite grungy as a teen. I wear classic, plain clothes now but add a twist with my accessories/piercing/nails etc. My nails are black quite often or I might wear an unusual belt or something. I have a really small stud in my nose too.

I wore a lot of black skinny jeans, band ts, converse etc as well as black dresses, lots of lace, black tights and fishnets, tons of eyeliner, black hair and extensions, short skirts or short shorts and thigh high boots

But I’m not waif thin like I once was and I’m a lot more lazy.
skinny jeans aren’t particularly flattering to my short and now much chunkier legs, especially when paired with a baggy T-shirt. And I honestly couldn’t be bothered with loads of makeup, or walking around in uncomfortable heels or checking my arse is actually covered by my tiny skirt or lace dress all day
So I’ve fallen into skinny jeans / mom jeans with a baggy tshirt for all occasions, and then if I have to get properly dressed up, I wear a blah dress with some black boring heels and tights. I suppose I never feel pretty, or like my clothes are flattering me or showing who I am
But I feel shallow saying I care about that!

Interesting thread. I'm not sure I was especially alternative, but it is curious how some outlandish dressers turn gradually into very ordinary or even frumpy dressers.

@AdoptedBumpkin

Interesting thread. I'm not sure I was especially alternative, but it is curious how some outlandish dressers turn gradually into very ordinary or even frumpy dressers.

Speaking for my frumpy self it just got less important that my clothes signal something about me. I’m a good few decades older and my whole life expresses who I am so I don’t have to find a way to be me in the gaps between school/uni , living with parents etc.

Also I have less need to signal to a tribe that I’m one of them. I knew even back when we were “alternative” that we were sticking to a set of dress code rules just as much as the “casuals” (back then) we saw ourselves as so different from, but that was necessary to signal which tribe you wanted acceptance from. (Do not get me started on the micro-divisions of goth!)

That said, my clothes do signal who I’m not (not that bothered about fashion, image etc) but at my age if I go to a party I’m just happy to chat to anyone and grateful to them for chatting to me.

Band tees, any sort of trousers you feel comfy in if you don't like skinny jeans now, add jewellery, dresses and skirts! Harkel do some nice skirts, I wear them with plain black t shirts most of the time, definitely toned down from my old self as I can't be arsed either, but I did go through a stage where I'd wear whatever fitted and was comfy and didn't feel like myself at all.

Also I have less need to signal to a tribe that I’m one of them.

Nail on head!

Can you take elements of teen outfit and incorporate it into your everyday wear? I saw a few band T-shirt’s inNext last week.

@OooPourUsACupLove I know what you mean, I don’t feel like I want to signal to a group though, no one I know now dresses ‘alternative’
It’s really more just that I don’t feel like I’ve found a style that suits me, and that I enjoy wearing.
But I don’t ‘need’ to find / express myself or rebel which was certainly a motivator before, and I think that’s why it has fallen down my list of priorities. But with lockdown and barely getting out of sweat pants for 18 months I do want to find my style a bit again

I came on to say Dark Academia like a PP. Worth a google and then if you like some of the looks you can use it when searching for pinterest ideas etc

Mom jeans with a band t shirt tucked in a French tuck (so front bit tucked in only) with a chunky belt, black trainers. If its cold i throw on a military style jacket or a trucker jacket.

Basically the same tops jackets but with mom jeans, which feel more flattering with my mom belly. New look have some excellent ones for less than £25.

I was more grungy goth tho.

I wear a lot of Skunk Funk (Spanish brand) with black DMs. I'm putting cherry red DMs on my Xmas list this year as I had them 30 years ago and I miss them!

My favourite jeans are mid-blue, wide legged and with turnups I can put the contents of my handbag in!! From Pinkie, also Spanish brand, cheap as chips.

My tribe is WTF? I have grey hair, sleek shoulder length Bob, geek glasses, 80s Casio digital watch. I'm in 46.

I’ve not heard of EMP before, I had a look but it feels a bit overwhelming even finding something to fit in my own very meh wardrobe, and buying a whole new wardrobe clearly isn’t the answer

Where else do you all shop?

@CallieOpie

I came on to say Dark Academia like a PP. Worth a google and then if you like some of the looks you can use it when searching for pinterest ideas etc

Oh this is a great idea! I’ll have a look and then try to see what Pinterest can suggest too

@malificent7

Why cant you dress like a Goth just because you're a mum?

Yep this is what I was going to say?! Please dress in a way that makes you feel great - life is not a rehearsal 👍🏼