tell me my obsession is healthy!

[babymooner]

Apologies if this is a bit rambling. Long time lurker and reader of all posts style and beauty. The essence of my question is how okay is it to care deeply about clothes and general appearance?
Let me explain. I am a fifty year old woman. Three children (in or approaching teenage years), a very happy marriage and a very fulfilling career. i am also border line obsessed with clothes and my appearance. I've kibbed myself, done my colours, created style boards, cleared out and replenished my wardrobe, photographed good outfits, and spent a small fortune on clothes (new, ebay, charity shops, the whole works). All (most) of which I love, and I earn good money so it's okay. But is it okay? Every so often I do wonder... to whatend? Who is this for? i don't have a sparkling social life (see: three children and full time big job). I don't have anyone I'm trying to 'keep up with'. It's all just me and my head. It's not a confidence thing either - I'm very comfortable in my skin, etc etc. And yet the time and effortI put into buyingclothes, organising clothes(because I have so many), planning outfits etc you'd think I was in the public eye or running a fashion business.
Is this normal? is this okay? More to the point, does anyone else do this? To be clear, I get joy from it. I have always loved fashion and clothes and I'm a creative, so use clothes to express myself. But sometimes I am literally expressing myself to the dog, and I do worry that I should get over myself. Then again, when I see someone in the street who looks fantastic, it makes me smile and I always compliment them. My worry is that sometimes I'll accept an invitation and the main thing I'm thinking about is that it gives me an opportunity to wear a particular dress/item of clothing that I've bought and which has been sitting in my wardrobe waiting for an opportunity. Am I dressing for my life, or living for my clothes? Does it matter either way? Sometimes I think I should live in Rome where dressing up is a thing in itself:) But I don't... I live in suburban, leafy London. So... thoughts? Please don't be too mean...

Yes @Maireas. It is. I post photos a bit because I am nearly 50 and I feel beautiful. I don't buy the idea that I'm aged or should dress or feel a certain way.

No.

Just found you too on IG! P.S. I have a very similar white “fur” coat (bought secondhand in Milan about 2001) Always feels so ridiculously OTT and glam when I wear it on New Year’s Eve (even if it’s just us partying with the kids at home )

@ShrikeAttack

Yes *@Maireas*. It is. I post photos a bit because I am nearly 50 and I feel beautiful. I don't buy the idea that I'm aged or should dress or feel a certain way.

No.

Beautiful. You look amazing!

[quote Maireas]@ShrikeAttack - the ageism on here is terrible, I agree. Am I too old/is this mumsy/do I look like a pensioner/is this old lady etc etc. Irritating nonsense.
I like your skirt and top - good to mix with tan accessories.[/quote]
@Maireas Wow, that’s exactly the reason why I haven’t been on S&B for a long time. Got sick of absorbing everyone’s low vibe body, age, and beauty comments.

@babymooner can you help me become like you? :) haha. I love clothes but I’m not very good at them. I’m late thirties but don’t think I’ve found my style yet which probably sounds silly but since having a baby I’m even more lost. I also have what I think is an awkward figure to dress. Sigh.
I loved your OP though, you sound so passionate about it. I imagine you as very glamorous and well put together

I love to see people wearing something different and stylish and i often will compliment a stranger if I see them looking fab.

It's your 'thing' celebrate it !

@Hallomother, I don't imagine you have a 'difficult body'' to dress.

I imagine that you don't feel confident. And that's a different thing.

You can absolutely find yourself. And there's no such thing as 'an awkward body to dress'.

You are beautiful and wonderful @hallomother

You are beautiful, @ShrikeAttack.
I've got tired challenging people on these threads - Are these mum boots? Do these sandals make me look like a pensioner? What can I wear after 40? - just recent ones I've got irritated by. So depressing and unimaginative.
The recommendation is always H&M, Primark, supermarket clothes, dull, dull, dull.
I've only seen a couple of interesting threads lately before this came along.
I'm glad I've found you all!

@Hallomother - what colours do you like? What kind of shapes? Is there a famous person whose style you admire?

I'm similar, I figure it's my only vice and more healthy than smoking or drinking. My pinterest boards aren't harming anyone and my clothes give me pleasure. I just need to wear them, I do have a tendency to collect and like to own pieces for a while before wearing.

Marking place ...enjoying this thread so much

Ps changed twice today

Stuffs.

@ShrikeAttack

I agree *@babymooner*, I fucking love clothes and spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about them. I love making different peraonas through outfits. I love shape and structure and how it makes you feel.

I love fabrics and weight and drape.

I lull myself to sleep thinking about various outfits.

And then wear them. I have an interesting life.

I do work in an industry that shuns fashion. It annoys me that it's seen as frivolous.

It's not. It's expressive and always has been. The earliest anthropological discoveries were related to clothes. The way people were and lived were expressed through their clothing.

It's important. It's not silly thought propagated by women.

Love this! Have found my tribe! I love clothes too. I grew up in quite a lot poverty and often had inadequate clothing -so cold in winter , coats on bed to keep warm. I have a professional job , but still spend too much money on clothes! They are very well considered - so I often “stalk” things in sale . I buy good quality stuff natural fabrics ( mid 50s and menopausal so nothing else will do!) My favourite thing is summer, sitting outside in a European city ,food and wine and people watching - I just love it. Sadly there will be no European city for some time - I live in Southern Hemisphere.. I started to love clothes as student and loved being creative on little money. I think the thing about those days is that at the the time , in your teens and early 20s you don’t know how how gorgeous you are! I try to still be creative and re-capture some of that. I love colour. I am wearing scrubs at work currently - looking forward to getting out of them and wearing proper clothes - I miss it!

@LunaTheCat.

You love clothes.

Just enjoy.

Stuff.

What we all think.

Changed twice today:) LOVE that. Days are long. Outfits get tired. Moods change 🤣🤣🤣

And pics beautiful by the way - keep em coming 😊

@Maireas

You are beautiful, *@ShrikeAttack*. I've got tired challenging people on these threads - Are these mum boots? Do these sandals make me look like a pensioner? What can I wear after 40? - just recent ones I've got irritated by. So depressing and unimaginative. The recommendation is always H&M, Primark, supermarket clothes, dull, dull, dull. I've only seen a couple of interesting threads lately before this came along. I'm glad I've found you all!

I also challenge less these days because I've come round to thinking there's more than one thing going on and that some posts - particularly the 'Am I too old for ...?' threads - are about loss of confidence as much as anything, in which case me snarking isn't really going to help.

Also clothes really do start to look different on you as you get older and body changes start to bite, and I think we need to be able to talk about it. So increasingly I might wince at the wording of a post but let it go if I think the underlying conversation is worth having.

Where I still have no patience is when posters talk about older women as if we all look the same and have the same tastes and lifestyles, and of course with the never ending use of 'middle aged', 'pensioner' and 'old lady' as synonyms for 'boring' and 'ugly'. It's fucking tedious.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to take care with your appearance; I think it's a positive thing! Clothes & accessories are a great way to express yourself, too.

I love trying to put together flattering outfits and to accessorise them nicely. I'm disabled, have trouble dressing myself at times, don't go out much but I still want to feel my best when I do go out. Like I've made an effort.

Carry on as you are and enjoy yourself.

I think it's the latter point of your post, @Floisme, where there's an assumption that as you age you cease to care about style, or "old lady" and "grandma" are synonyms for lack of taste and style.
It's true about posters who just lack confidence. After childbirth, the menopause, life issues, our body shape changes and it's frustrating and awkward. It's difficult to accept that you don't have to be tall, slender and willowy to look good. It's that body unconfident attitude that prevents women enjoying clothes.

Yes, and it's especially hard to accept if you've always been slender and willowy and never had to even think about this stuff, and then suddenly your body seems to take on a life of it's own and all your favourite clothes start to look 'off' but you can't work out why. I've come to the conclusion that this is where a lot of the 'Am I too old for....' and 'Where should I shop' threads are coming from.

I also think the “am I too old” insecurity is exacerbated by the fact that most websites still show clothes modelled in young willowy models. I’m noticing the use of more varied body sizes but not ages.

Anyone else looking forward to autumn clothes? I can’t wait to get my coats, knits and boots out