Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Oh dear God help me. My first date in 18 years!

461 replies

Shuffleuplove · 10/08/2021 23:03

I am going on a DATE. I am 50, newly single and I need help to get ready!!!

It’s next Sunday, we are going around a gallery/stately home type place. I have never met him in real life and my confidence has just ebbed away!

I’m 5’8” very too heavy size 18 and blonde. I have good hair, a nice face and then it starts to go meh the further down I go.Blush

So far I think I’ve settled on a maxi dress with a small sleeve, bit of cleavage at the front, but not sure about footwear. Or anything else for that matter. I’ve got one good hoik-em-up bra.

Help. I really don’t want him to be horrified and leg it. I mean, I know he’s a nice person and that’s unlikely but, well, you know...

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 28/08/2021 12:19

I hope he is a regular man too, although suggesting a night away after one date is giving me concerns. If OP starts having doubts she can retreat to her own room and hide :) Looking forward to good updates.

Whatliesbeneath707 · 28/08/2021 23:00

Hope you’re having an amazing time @Shuffleuplove and having lots of laughs too 😆

Aliceclara · 29/08/2021 08:44

@maxiflump1
Online dating has changed massively over the last 5 years and isn't the pleasant experience it once was I'm afraid. I too started it years ago (10 years) and found someone I was in a long term living relationship with. I felt at that time there were lots of decent men out there and it didn't feel like the pool of narcissism it is now. My long term partner sadly died of cancer. When I returned to OLD I was shocked at the difference. Men seem to pick up and drop women at a pace - the sweet shop mentality previously mentioned. The desire for a long term relationship for many seems to be replaced by a desire for short term gratification. And the men! My God, the men. @Shuffleuplove is very lucky to have located a good one!

crimsonlake · 29/08/2021 09:04

I clicked on this morning hoping for an update. The OP has been very quiet the last few days, hopefully iy is because she has been too busy readying herself.
I have been doing OLD for ten years on and off, three short relationships, been on too many dates to list but only one I was really attracted to.
I have not managed one date in forever now, mainly due to not being able to find anybody I am vaguely attracted to and the fact that so many men start a conversation then disappear.

Shuffleuplove · 30/08/2021 12:13

Brief and discreet update:
We had a lovely weekend, dinner, chips on the beach, lazy mornings, wonderful. We laughed ourselves sick and kissed like mad and it was wonderfully respectful as well as being RED hot.

GrinStar

OP posts:
deeplyambivalent · 30/08/2021 14:03

Fantastic news, OP! So glad it went according to plan/hopes!

66babe · 30/08/2021 17:52

Ah that's great news, glad you had a lovely weekend .. them feels eh ?

Shuffleuplove · 30/08/2021 18:16

Totes feels! He said “Thankyou for coming into my life”Grin

It’s very early days and I’m trying to be pragmatic but at the same time, I’ve also decided to just be in the moment and enjoy it. He’s beautiful, and lovely company and we have a lot in common but more than anything I feel very relaxed around him, I get him somehow.

And I don’t actually need anyone, I’m happy in my own company and if it doesn’t work out then I’ll be ok. And if it does? Brilliant!

OP posts:
Whatliesbeneath707 · 30/08/2021 18:27

Absolutely perfect way to approach it @Shuffleuplove. We spend far too much time thinking about what ifs & what could go wrong and quite often we are totally forgetting to enjoy the here & now. As you say, he’s great company and you’re having fun, so enjoy every moment.
You have also given us some laughs along the way with your date night prep, so it’s win win. Thank you for sharing it with us & giving us a giggle too.

66babe · 30/08/2021 18:27

That's exactly the right attitude to have ! Enjoy every moment but keep everything about yourself safe .. heart , body , mind , dignity and purse 😂

crimsonlake · 30/08/2021 18:32

Great news, glad you had fun. Let us know how it all progresses from here.

holidaynearlyover · 31/08/2021 23:41

Is it wrong I've scrolled through a few pages to find this thread.
Loving your update OP

Enough4me · 01/09/2021 00:22

@holidaynearlyover I have too, and loving hearing it went well.

OP, you sound really level-headed and he sounds keen but doesn't sound pushy so sounds like it's all healthy as well as fun...onto dates 3, 4 etc. good luck.

Shuffleuplove · 01/09/2021 10:21

Hello! Totally caught the feels. I think what I like about this one is that I feel like I can be totally myself with him, and he said the same - that he’s totally relaxed.

Had arranged to be away for 1 night but actually stayed for 3 and bought extra clothes! Blush
If I was 20 years younger I’d be all “oh don’t look too keen etc” but I’m 50 and I’ve had 2 bereavements this year and we are all a long time dead. If it doesn’t work out, I’m not chasing a biological clock or a wedding ring, been there done that. I’m just happy. He makes me happy and smiley and I catch myself singing. That might not be The Rules or whatever. But I’m also a grown up and can do what I like!Grin

(For the purposes of sartorial updates I bought a pair of black trousers and a Breton top and extra knickers)

Added detail : I hadn’t seen his legs and had I supposed presumed they were standard-thin. However (and I’d like to apologise for the sexual objectification which is about to take place) they are monumentally good. Grin And I have unlimited access. Grin Fwarrrrrrr.

OP posts:
SpeckledyHen · 01/09/2021 18:29

Awww Shuffleuplove so pleased for you .

Whatliesbeneath707 · 01/09/2021 19:26

Fabulous update @Shuffleuplove. Your attitude to this is spot on! Take each glorious day as it comes. Looking for the negatives doesn’t serve us at all and as you say, you are 50, you come across as a savvy person who deserves some happiness and fun. If the pandemic has taught us anything, I think the phrase “we’re here for a good time, not a long time” is so true. You are following “the rules” - they are your rules of enjoying how this unfolds without putting any unnecessary expectations on it.
I love the clothes update - as if keeping up with the spirit of the thread is what we’re here for! 🤣 And how amazing does it feel to plan a night away but stay for 3 and have to buy extra clothes to go with?! That’s living your best life @Shuffleuplove.
Love the leg comment too - what an added bonus 😘 I rather like men’s tanned hands 😳
Keep us updated when you can OP - you have a way with words.

Poocalypso · 01/09/2021 20:38

Gaaaaawd! What amazing news. Happy for you. (And not jealous at all. AT ALL) :)

Mamamia35 · 01/09/2021 21:43

A 3 day bender and some new pants, good on you! I'm still rooting for Kinky Kermode Wink

Shuffleuplove · 01/09/2021 21:48

Nah Kinky Kermode and Mr. Solid have been stood down.

Both lovely but no thanks.

OP posts:
Shuffleuplove · 01/09/2021 21:48

Not a bender, I don’t drink. All this was stone cold sober. Straight Edge! Grin

OP posts:
PatchworkElmer · 01/09/2021 22:02

Pleased for you OP! 😁

Stomachpains · 01/09/2021 22:33

Best thread ever. So pleased for you Smile

66babe · 02/09/2021 07:43

Wonderfully happy for you @Shuffleuplove , enjoy every second 💐

SirVixofVixHall · 02/09/2021 14:28

Woohoo, this is happy news we all need at the moment.

Mamamia35 · 02/09/2021 22:11

It's really been a great, amusing and empowering story. Thank you very much @Shuffleuplove