Struggling with aging, I'm 46.

[something2say]

Hi. Can I vent please and ask for people's experiences.

I'm 46. 47 in September. I know it's not that old yet, but it's not 30 anymore, or even 40. I feel like I'm changing.

My lovely clothes are now too tight. I have lots of long sleeved cotton t shirts that cling, but I've developed a roll of fat on my tummy which never used to be there and I feel embarrassed. I've put on 2 stone. I expect I wont fit into my nice dresses very comfortably this summer and wonder if I should give them away. I have two Ghost dresses and dont think I wore them at all last year and may not again.

I exercise every day and have an active job, but I eat too much chocolate. Every day. It would help to stop that I know.

My periods are awry and have been for a few years now. Peri isn't too bad yet, Menopace helps. I dont like wearing g strings anymore as they're uncomfortable but I feel embarrassed if people can see my big knickers outline. My body is changing.

I sometimes think about being almost 47 and ask if I'm sexy anymore. At 50 am I middle aged? I dont know how to be middle aged. I think about diet changes I could make. I used to be hot but now I look a bit dumpy and partly I know I've done it to myself but part of it is aging. I know its shallow and that other things are more important.

In better news, I'm far more peaceful, relaxed and skilled at things with a greater knowledge of what matters. I enjoy my life and consider myself lucky. I've learned.

But can I ask how other people have navigated this stage? Did you make changes? What does it mean to be a woman in her late 40s? And should I give up chocolate?

Sorry for the self indulgence. I hope people understand.

That was @sansucre

I am mid 50’s. Had a hysterectomy a few years ago and haven’t looked back. I discovered Meet you at the Barre during lockdown and love what has happened to my body. Was a 30 day shredder before but never enjoyed it. Still eat chocolate and drink wine because life’s too short.

@LunaNorth

Funny because I’ve lost a stone and a half on 1800cals a day.

Yes, me too. Never dropped below 1800 calories and lost two stone in 6 months, though I burnt around 300 most days with fast walking. I've started to think its not just calories but the foods I eat that makes the difference.

Well done!

Feels great doesn’t it?

@LunaNorth

Well done!

Feels great doesn’t it?

It really does. So many things I thought I had to just accept as part of getting older, cellulite, thicker waist, flabby arms, aches and pains, even my double chin and jowls, they've all just.. gone! I feel 20 years younger.

@5128gap let us into your food secrets, Gap!

[quote BlueSkyBlinking]@5128gap let us into your food secrets, Gap![/quote]
Well I didn't actually start by wanting to lose weight, I was more concerned with starting to eat foods I'd read were anti aging (shallow I know!)
And honestly, there are so many of them!
So by the time I'd added in all the different fruits, veg, nuts, seeds, natural yoghurt, olive oil, soy, whole grains, spices, honey, dark chocolate and so on to my daily diet, there was genuinely no room for the junk I used to eat, and the weight loss just happened to be honest.
I think the secret was that I never consciously cut anything out, but added it in, so never felt deprived.
The exception is meat, which I have cut out the last few months, and although I'd lost most of the weight by the time I did that, I think its helping me maintain.

A tip for zoom though it might work best if you're very pale like me - don't shy away from daylight. If you can, sit near a big window. The flare smooths out absolutely everything.

Has anyone found any magic cream or treatment for restoring definition around the jowls? I can tell my chin is not as defined as it used to & can understand why people go for plastic surgery as when I pull the skin back, I get the shape again, not that I want to go down this root!

I already use retinol every other day and slather on serums, oils & spf.

@Stokey im 50 and got a jawrcise and a facial flexor. Now it aint surgery, but i think my jawline is ok for my age. That is not a huge boast i realise, "ok for my age" but you can feel muscles working when you use these gadgets. I keep forgetting to do it enough to make a difference. I should do a before and after!

@PickAChew

A tip for zoom though it might work best if you're very pale like me - don't shy away from daylight. If you can, sit near a big window. The flare smooths out absolutely everything.

Yes, i look better in bright light and my face looks like a bag of spanners in "flattering" candlelight!

@WiseOwlOne ooh thank you, I'll check it out.

Did any of you make changes to your diet later in life?

Yes, I was obese at 46, didn't want to hit 50 feeling fat and crap. I lost 40kg, which until Corona I kept off. I'm now 51 and think I've hit the menopause, I have put 8kg on, but mainly because I can't play my usual sport or swim because we are still in lockdown here.
Losing the weight actually made me feel loads better about myself and probably helped with peri, my joints certainly feel loads better.
Lost the weight by cutting down to 1500 calories, cutting out refined carbs and eating more protein, also retraining my portion size and using a calorie tracking app.
I also went back to dying my hair, I know going grey gracefully is a thing now and some people suit it, but I looked like I'd dragged myself out of a shallow grave.

@LunaNorth

Well done!

Feels great doesn’t it?

Tell me your secrets! I had to go to 1200 a day to lose

@SusannaMorvern... that’s amazing. Well done. It makes such a difference to your life and lifespan, hopefully!

This thread has been so useful. I am definitely struggling with peri-menopause, I get so hot and cold at night I hate it, then because you are tired it’s hard to be bothered with eating well and working out. It’s such a vicious circle.

I am 44 and just at the start of trying to turn the slide around, have tackled exercise first, as I enjoy it and have been working my way up to running via couch25K, the 5-10k apps, so now am running 4 times a week so time to tackle the weight.

I am about 15 kg over weight to be in the health BMI so am going to aim for that, using MFP and lower carb. I have only drank once since Christmas, and am not really missing it too much, so am going to keep that on the low side and try and eat more veg. I have noticed that I am not as keen on meat as I used to be, so am going to try and eat more fish. I have noticed that when I eat chocolate at night it wrecks my sleep, so going to try and knock that on the head too.

I find the clothes thing harder, as have no innate sense of style and don’t really enjoy shopping. Think I need to try harder as just live in skinny jeans/t-shirts or running kit. Working from home has knocked any effort I used to make on my appearance out of me. Am looking forward to the hairdresser opening again, my fringe is past my nose and I am too crack handed to cut it!

Your body needs much more care approaching 50. Use sunblock to prevent ageing spots. A good multivitamin with mineral supplement.
Try to get enough sleep and short exercise a few times a week.

Get yearly bloods done so you can keep an eye on things going amiss.

I noticed a rapid deterioration at 47/48. My lovely doctor says that women were not genetically designed to live past menopause, once out child bearing days are gone our bodies start to change.

HRT helped set things right a little but I still have to eat to live rather than live to eat.

I can relate to so much of this and feel less alone!

One of the things that I think has aged me most is my eyes seem to have got loads smaller over the last few years. I started needing glasses for reading when I was in my early 40s, but 10 years later I need varifocals all the time and am useless without them. I tried contact lenses and struggled to get used to taking them in and out, but the worst thing was it wasn't really worth the effort as my eyes now seem TINY! And really deep set, like two currants pushed into an underbaked bun. What. The. Hell?

I now look at older celebs like Nigella and wonder what trickery is involved in keeping that Bambi-eyed youthfulness. Or is it just good bones and lucky genes?

Nigella looks great but has had a heap of work. Problem with eyes is that with loose skin Botox and fillers don’t really cut it. Especially upper eye area. Blephaplasty is the best bet but that is surgery.

@purplebagladylovesgin I do hope your GP had their tongue firmly cheek when they said that...

No secrets.

I gave up drinking for 30 days in August last year, and felt so much better that I decided to stick with it. I’m seven months sober now.

Once I realised I could stop drinking, which had been my major health concern, it was time to tackle the weight. I was about 13st 6 at my heaviest - just a fag paper away from obese. I was sick of thinking about food, going on diets, squeezing myself into size 14s - being in denial basically.

I remember saying to my husband, ‘I’m just going to record everything I eat and aim for 1800 cals a day and see what happens.’ And that’s what I did.

I eat everything. I’m coeliac, so don’t eat bread, pasta and that sort of thing anyway, though I will eat gluten free versions. I thrive on carbs, so you’ll always see me eating potatoes, rice, etc. I have a sweet treat or two every day, plenty of dairy (both my parents had osteoporosis so I’m taking no chances).

I’ve literally never felt hungry (except when you should) or felt deprived. I was exercising lots anyway, so I’ve just kept that up.

Getting on for two stone has melted away without me really noticing. I can’t believe I wasted so much time fannying about with diets. It’s such a great feeling.

Nigella's an incredibly beautiful woman. I think it's mainly genes (I think her mother was a great beauty) but she does also look like she's had a lot of stuff done to her face. I'm not into all of that so I couldn't say exactly what but I'd guess fillers and surgery. And great hair and make up.

now look at older celebs like Nigella and wonder what trickery is involved in keeping that Bambi-eyed youthfulness. Or is it just good bones and lucky genes?
I don't want to sound mean but I think most of what we see is down to good make up and good lighting. When you see Nigella in paparazzi snaps she still looks beautiful but I wouldn't say she looks younger than her age (and why should she?!) Don't compare yourself to people on tv!

Totally agree about Nigella, both in terms of natural beauty and top-notch, no expense spared procedures, but was just using her as an example of someone who doesn't seem to suffer with my annoying youth-sapping eye issues. I seem to be stuck in a cycle of having quite dramatic age-related sight deterioration, which means I need glasses full time (ageing in itself I think) but also, if I jump through all the hoops to not wear glasses, I seem to have developed teeny tiny piggy eyes.

I find myself looking at women my age on tv (Fiona Bruce is another, and Kate Garraway) and I wonder if there's a secret. I don't have particularly hooded eyes or droopy eyelids, it's just my eyes themselves seem to have got smaller and more sunken, and I look like a little old mole without my glasses now.

Mind you, I did read something about age-related macular degeneration the other day, which my MiL has and is horrible, so I guess it's a bit daft to be fretting about my eyes not looking as good as they used to.

Ladies asking what to do about jowls... I had Morpheus8 a little over a week ago. No impact on jawline yet, but it's premature to expect any improvement. Has anyone else tried it? How long before you saw any changes? I would really like for someone to respond and say they had this too and they now look 10 years younger (will settle for 5).