Struggling with aging, I'm 46.

[something2say]

Hi. Can I vent please and ask for people's experiences.

I'm 46. 47 in September. I know it's not that old yet, but it's not 30 anymore, or even 40. I feel like I'm changing.

My lovely clothes are now too tight. I have lots of long sleeved cotton t shirts that cling, but I've developed a roll of fat on my tummy which never used to be there and I feel embarrassed. I've put on 2 stone. I expect I wont fit into my nice dresses very comfortably this summer and wonder if I should give them away. I have two Ghost dresses and dont think I wore them at all last year and may not again.

I exercise every day and have an active job, but I eat too much chocolate. Every day. It would help to stop that I know.

My periods are awry and have been for a few years now. Peri isn't too bad yet, Menopace helps. I dont like wearing g strings anymore as they're uncomfortable but I feel embarrassed if people can see my big knickers outline. My body is changing.

I sometimes think about being almost 47 and ask if I'm sexy anymore. At 50 am I middle aged? I dont know how to be middle aged. I think about diet changes I could make. I used to be hot but now I look a bit dumpy and partly I know I've done it to myself but part of it is aging. I know its shallow and that other things are more important.

In better news, I'm far more peaceful, relaxed and skilled at things with a greater knowledge of what matters. I enjoy my life and consider myself lucky. I've learned.

But can I ask how other people have navigated this stage? Did you make changes? What does it mean to be a woman in her late 40s? And should I give up chocolate?

Sorry for the self indulgence. I hope people understand.

I totally understand. I'm 53 now.

This week I accidentally took a photo of myself looking down at my phone. I could have cried. It just showed a saggy, miserable face with furrowed brow. I looked about 90. I just don't feel like that person, it was such a shock. I'm not miserable but my face just settles into that of a person about to complain.
I'm quite slim, and I don't think that helps.

The irony of it being world sleep day. Ds has been awake since 3:30 again

Whoops, sorry wrong thread!

I'll be 50 at the end of this year. Despite giving up biscuits, chocolate and cake for lent, I can't lose any weight. I suspect this is due to a) snacking b)alcohol and c) two meds I'm on (Depo and Zoladex).

After reading a lot of the hrt love here, (I was actually given some when I started on the Zoladex, it's meant to be a short term thing for ablation, but I'm about to have jab 5) but wasn't keen on taking it due to what I read about the side effects. Now I am thinking of trying it out. I'm waking up absolutely boiling hot, some nights sweating, and then wake up shivering as I don't have the covers on me.

I already have smaller portions as I can't eat much (developed a swallowing issue due to anxiety a few years ago and it's still with me, though much more under control tool) but because I don't eat much, I find I have a snack later as, well, you didn't have much for dinner did you! I need to stop the snacking, start yoga, cut down on the wine.
Now, how to firm up my neck? I've always moisturised it but seems to have not helped :(

Harsh but true - lose weight, get slim and you'll feel fabulous, all else will click in place.

*@something2say *

You rock, lady!

I just dug out the hrt packet. It's Tibolone 2.5mg Anyone on this, tried it? Just wanted some of your experiences of being on it and if it helped.

I'm soon to be 48 and could cry at the thought of being this old! I'm clinging on for dear life, I've reduced my calorie intake as I've noticed my metabolism has slowed slightly. I've got a cross trainer and use it everyday plus a slender tone Abs and bum, that's made a big difference. I have Botox twice a year and fillers once a year. I have some hair extensions for thickness, I touch my roots up during lockdown. I've also concentrated on my health, fixing my anaemia, sorting the heavy periods, getting my thyroid checked regularly and finally getting hrt which really helps. I'm not giving in to growing old gracefully just yet.

I think at that age it's likely a bit of peri menopause hormones kicking in to make you feel unsexy even if you still look great. Yeah, I would tone down the chocolate. But still have some from time to time. I'm 40 and have lots of attractive friends the same age as you, and they are reporting feeling the same. But they do not look different to me!

By the way... I don't think g strings / thongs are sexy at all, and my (male) partners have agreed with me. I get undies I like, and they are comfy, attractive, and don't dig into my anus. Why would I want them digging there?! Life is hard enough 😅

I'm totally with you on the g-strings @optimistic40

I haven't worn one since my 20s. They're uncomfortable, unhygienic, and my arse looks terrible in them! Big pants all the way.

@longtompot I’m on tibolone. Game changer for me!

[quote Sidge]@longtompot I’m on tibolone. Game changer for me![/quote]
Ooh, that's good to hear. Did you get any of the side affects? I'm a bit worried about some of them.

Oh yes this is me too. I have always exercised and I am naturally petite, but once the weight started to stick around my middle it was really noticeable. I think I look pregnant in some of the clothes I used to wear. I also need varifocals now so the contact lenses had to go, and its probably quite vain but having to wear glasses all the time was a blow for me.

I changed hairdressers just before the last lockdown so I am hoping to do something new with my hair and I have started doing yoga because I need to work on my flexibility.

A lot of the time I do feel quite old though, no-one tells you this when you are younger do they!

@MrsJowly - sorry, only just saw your message. The sagging skin hasn’t been too bad. The good thing with WW is that you lose weight relatively slowly and this has been good for the skin issues. 10 years ago I did a different crash diet and lost 4 stone (the same 4 stone I’ve just lost again 😂) in 4 months, and got a lot of sagging skin then. This time it’s better.

My face is a bit more “loose” but I think I’ll save up and get fillers in my cheeks to hoist it.

I’m not perfect by ANY means but I can wear nicer clothes and not the mumsy tunics, etc, I’d been in before. I still have more of a tummy and less of an arse than I’d like, but I’m generally happy. :)

Has anyone here on HRT found their brain fog and memory improved? I’ve been on 2 pumps of oestrogel and a Mirena for a year and don’t get both sweats, hot flushes or anything like that, but my memory has just GONE. I’d love to get it back.

@longtompot I’ve had no noticeable side effects. However my hot flushes and night sweats have gone (well I might have a very occasional hot flush, usually when running or after drinking too much wine) and I feel like me again.

I do have the benefit of having had a hysterectomy so no irregular bleeding - we tend to avoid tibolone in peri menopausal women as it can cause even more bleeding irregularities.

I think with most forms of HRT it’s a case of try it and see - sometimes you need to tweak products or doseage until you find what suits a woman best and it’s very individual.

Everything starts to slow, by 40. Could you do something like Couch25K? Easy to use the App (I have Sarah Millican cheering me on). Have lost a stone and would’ve lost more if I could give chocolate 🙄

* give up* chocolate!

[quote Sidge]@longtompot I’ve had no noticeable side effects. However my hot flushes and night sweats have gone (well I might have a very occasional hot flush, usually when running or after drinking too much wine) and I feel like me again.

I do have the benefit of having had a hysterectomy so no irregular bleeding - we tend to avoid tibolone in peri menopausal women as it can cause even more bleeding irregularities.

I think with most forms of HRT it’s a case of try it and see - sometimes you need to tweak products or doseage until you find what suits a woman best and it’s very individual.[/quote]
This was given to me due to having Zoladex injections in prep for an ablation, so not necessarily the best hrt for me, but I shall give it a go. I've not had a hysterectomy so am worried about the bleeding, amongst other things, stroke being one.

F

Wow. That sounds amazing. Thank you.

Exercise is the key to looking and feeling good

Reading this thread with interest as I’m also in the same boat. What skin care products should I be using now to look after my more, ahem, mature skin? I feel I probably need to do more than just moisturise!

@MacBookHo... I’ve lost and regain the same weight all my life 🙄 😂. It’s been infuriating to the point where I’ve no idea what my ideal weight is. Obviously, there are charts to look at but I find I go from 11st 2-4lbs then down to 9st 8lbs (roughly) then back to 11 stone then back to ...

My GP has recently taken me off HRT and within three weeks I’m waking up sweating and throwing the quilt over DH, then freezing cold..then boiling hot. That’s a royal pain in the ass, too! And the aches in my joints make me want to go back on HRT but GP says at nearly 59, I'm post menopausal and it’s time to stop. I think, all that’s happened is, I’ve “postponed” meno for a few years and without HRT I'm back to age 52 all over again.

@DarlingCoffee... maybe, try a serum? I’ve started using Avene PhysioLift range. Really nice. Plumping. I’ve been a Nivea girl for donkey’s years but it’s now time for something with Retinaldehydes. It’s really gentle and Boots and Feelunique always have good offers on 😉

I also need varifocals now so the contact lenses had to go

Noooooooo! They don't have to go!

Ive worn contacts for decades, and started to need varifocoals a couple of years ago. Went to Specsavers and they got me vaeifocal specs but when I started squinting with my contacts, they basically suggested the following solution: one contact is your reading prescription and one is your long sighted prescription. And your eyes just focus imperceptibly.

And its worked! If I close one eye I notice a difference but together I have perfect sight both reading and far away. Bonus : since they're not special, they cost the same.

Now they did say that if that stops working, I'll need pricey varifocal lenses, but so far I'm delighted with them.