What instantly ages?

[MadameNaice]

Whether that be clothing or cosmetics, I'm interested to hear your opinions. I have a few of my own thoughts on this, though I could be way off the mark.

Am in need of a boost and think I might be unwittingly ageing myself before my time.

Thanks.

@NiceGerbil

Matronly bosom?

What are women with big boobs supposed to do to avoid this? Out of interest.

Choose certain necklines perhaps

Miserable demeanour?
Have you met any teenagers?

Maybe, from previous posts, the answer to the boob non problem is to be proud of them, carry them with confidence and smile. Then with the help of the right bra they will smile back at you!

This is intended to be lighthearted but l think there is an element of truth in it.

For me The colour black. It's gone from being mega flattering throughout until my 49s. Now I just look gaunt and Ill 😫

On others fitted leather biker jackets and tight jeans or the 'trendy' leather biker worn over a midi/maxi dress. For me this looks aging.

but when I look through insta looking at what works on my age group the short hair isn’t doing a lot of women any favours.

Mine's pixie short and it suits me. It really depends on the individual. The first lockdown meant that it grew. A lot. And having it longer aged me immeasurably. I'm late 40s.

Where are those boots from @Doodallysally? They’re great!

Please stop telling women they should smile.

Seriously, stop with the look cheerful business. It was bad enough when I was young and men would lean out of car windows to tell me to smile, .

@Bluesheep8 short hair certainly didn’t do me any favours (I had it cut short at 49) and unless I was having an exceptionally good day, it made me look and feel like I’d given up. I now have a Bob which is just above my shoulders and I feel like me again!

Oh gawd, Floisme wasn't that maddening?
"Cheer up darlin/cheer up luv it might never happen/give us a smile/smile darlin"
In shops, on buses, shouting out of car or lorry windows - you name it.
Girls and women do not have to permanently smile at you

Yes and one of the bonuses of getting older is that men stop doing it, so I'm quite dismayed to find that some women still expect it.

It's liberating. It really is.
In my 20s I had to go past a building site to get to work. Every morning I suffered a tirade of verbal harassment, so that I went a very long circuitous route just to avoid it.
If I look grumpy and unappealing now to men on the street - good.

We have the right to smile, the right to dress how we please without verbal abuse. I like to think things have got a little better.

But when it does happen, we should report it.

Some wanker told me to smile when I was on my way to the solicitors to sort out my father's will right after he died.
I exploded at him and told him to fuck off, my dad just died.
The look on his face was priceless and I doubt he'll be doing that again.

Its ALWAYS creepy old dudes that say this to young women have you noticed this? Ive seen it multiple times and never have I seen an old dude ever say it to another old dude. Its sexual harassment and there is a reason why men dont say this juvenile BS to other men.

Quite enjoying this thread.

There was a local trend for older, well-off women to dress in a kind of lagenlook style which I think is ageing because I've always associated older women with it.

Disclaimer : I'm positively ancient at 61.

I wear chunky boots, brogues, skinnies, boxy jumpers, wellies or whatever else I fancy. I don't think I look young as such as the current style seems pretty homogenous anyway (thanks to Covid, possibly.).

Bobs! I don’t agree with that at all. I’m 35 and look much younger with a blunt bob than I did with longer hair. I can give it a wave, and pin it up with grips into a messy updo. When it was longer it looked scraggly and less healthy.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter -

Alexis that happened to me just after my mum died. "Cheer up, darlin!".
Honest to god, it was a turning point.
It really was - I started to be more assertive, less sweet, smiley and obliging.
We should be allowed to age, to have our bodies change with birthing and breast feeding without it being a badge of shame and ridicule.

@StarlightLady

Thank you 😃

it was years ago now but it always reminds me that you never know what a stranger is going through

@Maireas

YES! totally agree. Well no more- I will challenge people who say it now.
Its so rude and vile to say that to a stranger when you have no idea what they are going through.

Absolutely. As a woman, it doesn't matter what you're going through, you have to put on a happy face and smile.

@NiceGerbil

Matronly bosom?

What are women with big boobs supposed to do to avoid this? Out of interest.

Not always anything you can do but like many things listed here, it is ageing and something I need to watch out for myself. Weight loss, a good bra, clothing choices all help.

Regarding ‘miserable demeanour’ I don’t mean you have to smile, although I’m a natural smiler, it’s more the frowning, harassed, woe is me look.

@Kintsugi16

Discoloured teeth Thin brows Pearly or matte makeup Dull hair Matronly ‘bosom’ Cankles Miserable demeanour

Discoloured teeth- but teeth do change colour as you age. Thin brows- sadly my thyroid has made my brows sparse and I'm damned if I'm painting new ones on to be less aged. Pearly or matte makeup- so no shiny or matte, what's left then? Dull hair- life's too short for shiny hair everyday and again, it does lose some lustre as we age. Matronly bosom- what does that even mean? If we've got a set of DD+ then we look older? Cankles- wtf, I know women in their 20's who are slim but have cankles because it's the way they are made. Miserable demeanour- I spent far too much of my life being told to "cheers love and smile" by men. I never have and never will be permanently happy with a grin on my face to make others feel better. Why the fuck do women have to look happy all the time? Men don't have to, men can look grumpy whenever they want.

I think I'm feeling very snippy this morning because all this rubbish quoted has made me annoyed.

@Kintsugi16 - smiling good. It’s just we shouldn’t be expected to smile all of the time by strangers.

I have friends who are a lesbian couple, who still receive comments from men in the street, for walking hand-in-hand. We have gone a long way, but still have a long way to go.

I think there is a balance to be had here. Asking strangers to smile is vile and insensitive as I mentioned above.

But that said, I DO think your attitude makes a huge difference. I know negative people who arent miserable due to bereavements or life circumstances, thats simply their default setting and never changes. I think we can all appreciate how draining it is to be excited about our plans for the future only for them to be shot down by someone who is always looking at the negative side of things (eg that wont work!, you cant do that! you arent bright/talented/clever enough to do that) etc
There ARE people around like this and they arent pleasant to spend time with. I would say those people do come across as older purely because they have such a negative, bitter, "it wont work!" mindset.

I think we all know at least one person like that and they are utterly draining to be around.