[quote glazeover]@CherryMargo why do you do it to yourself? Use things you don't like, that are expired, and that have dodgy ingredients in, I mean. Skincare should make you feel good when you're using it.[/quote]
I did hesitate before posting that message but then decided to be as transparent as possible about my journey since I take my participation in these threads as part of my healing process. I absolutely agree with you that skincare should be a joyful experience, but I’m so disgusted with myself and my hoarding that I don’t allow myself to enjoy it fully yet. Hate-panning is how I punish myself in hopes that I will never go back to makeup and skincare hoarding again, and to teach myself to quit going overboard at sales.
Another big factor is my financial situation. I feel extremely guilty for wasting my tiny income on underperforming products which I bought because I fell for marketing tricks or because I trusted online reviews too much. I’m that sort of a hoarder who doesn’t throw things out unless they are completely used up/worn out/broken beyond repair. Plus, sometimes I just cannot afford to buy a new product, so I have to use what I have, even if I don’t like it.
And also, sometimes hate-panning is the only way I can finish up products. For example, I tend to get tired of using the same product even if I like it. Old me would buy something new and exciting, letting this old product sit forever in the back of my drawer. Hate-panning makes me stick to it.
I do believe there is light at the end of the tunnel for me. Since the start of my journey in 2017, I’ve perfected my skincare routine, and educated myself on cosmetics ingredients. There are no more impulse purchases, and before I buy a product, I do proper research on it. Another thing that I’ve learnt is repurposing. If, say, a face cream breaks me out, I use it on my feet. I kinda feel a sense of accomplishment if I can find a way to make a bad product work for me.