Does what you wear at the school gate affect how people treat you?

[cultkid]

I'm a novice to English schools, newbie to having a kid in school.

I wear some fairly bonkers outfits including pink crocs and sports trousers with a denim jacket 😆

Also I wear dresses too and can look normal

If I wore a tracksuit, would that change people's perceptions of me? What is comfy and easy, not always jeans because I am not a huge fan?

Is it bad to show up in crocs at the school gate?

Thank you

I tend to not care what anyone else is wearing.... you only see everyone very briefly, although there was a family that turned up in dressing gowns and that was a bit especially as they lived so close by it’s not like they couldn’t have put some normal clothes on.

That said, I like to look presentable at least because I’m representing my children and their teachers rarely get to see me otherwise.

Honestly, yes people will judge whatever you’re wearing, consciously or not. Wether that bothers you is another matter. I imagine this thread will fill with people who insist they don’t notice what other people wear but tbh I think most do

I regularly wear crocs to the school gates, although I am aware that it is not a good look! I think people who judge others on things like that are probably not great people to be friends with anyway! However there is no harm in trying to look at bit better as I have been in situations where I have felt badly judged possibly because I looked a bit bonkers in my outfit!!

Look at the parents of people your child wants to associate with and dress (and act) like them.

I could wear flares so they don't see my crocs

🥶

@Hailtomyteeth

I hope that my son chooses lovely friends and doesn't worry about their parents for now!!

Right. But if you want your child to succeed socially with lovely children, you need to be someone the parents of lovely children will find acceptable. Or maybe you're too clever for that.

@Hailtomyteeth

Hmmm interesting post..

I would say being down to earth, around for the children, cooking, outdoors, speaking two languages, raising my son with multiple cultures that form his heritage, being non judgemental about other kids parents (clothes??) would be good enough to make some stable friends

If they think me wearing crocs makes me a lesser person then they will be wrong.

I'm willing to sacrifice the crocs. On the school run.

I also wear lots of nice clothes. Sometimes it's good keeping a low profile in regards to your appearance.

The teachers will like me I don't worry about that, I am engaged and care about my son and that is really all they ask.

Weird post you made.

@Skintforamonth

Do they really wear a dressing gown 🙃
That's bad. Would never do that!!
My husband usually pinches mine in the morning anyway 😆

I have a child with learning disabilities and ASD. My priority is getting her in to school happy and calm.

I'm clean and tidy (ish) but not groomed. There may well be a few that discount me on the basis of my appearance- but I'm confident, happy and chatty and try not to stand in the same spot talking to the same people everyday. I've also be doing the same school run for 8 years and up until CV volunteered at the school so know lots of the children so maybe it's water off a ducks back.

I accept some may judge me AND that I have chosen not to change.

Haha!! I would judge you for the crocs sorry!!

Seriously though no. I admire people who dress in a non conformist way (within reason!)

@Hailtomyteeth

Right. But if you want your child to succeed socially with lovely children, you need to be someone the parents of lovely children will find acceptable. Or maybe you're too clever for that.

Hahahahaha!

I wouldn't want my children to be friends with the offspring of such judgemental parents - I doubt they're that lovely if that's how they police their children's social lives.

Jesus though - pyjamas dressing gown slippers my judgy pants would be well hoiked up

@Notonthestairs

You sound great

I struggle enough with my son as it is he is very hard work

I'm sometimes with makeup
Sometimes not
I'm always clean. Always tidy.

Always emotionally present

That's the most important thing

X

@Railingsohno

Well I'll judge you for not having any

They are a life changing addition to your wardrobe.

I've got two pairs actually 😀

In my honest opinion, if you want your kid to fit in at school you have to fit in with the other parents. Unfortunately.

It's a funny area here though

I'm not sure I want to wear the obligatory striped top and yellow rain coat with pastel converse

Only on Mumsnet.
But it's only on MN that parents seem to see "the school drop off" as some sort of social event.

I wouldn’t avoid people who wear tracksuits but id probably make a judgement about them.
Nothing bad but it’s just natural that you’d judge someone wearing smart clothes as different to someone wearing something that looks like they’re going to go off to exercise or stay at home.
People subconsciously make assessments and judgements about lifestyle on clothes, whether right or wrong.

I want to wear my yoga trousers and a funky jumper

Is the school run about your child or your need to be seen as wacky and eccentric?

I've been doing the school run for going on 4 years now. I can honestly say I have no idea what the other parents wear. I guess jeans? My kids have lovely friends and I've got a nice gang of 'mum friends'. I wear jeans, trainers, whatever is weather appropriate! I'm always clean and tidy although rarely manage make up.
Our school is a S London church school, not at all clique-y though. Maybe other schools will cast you out of the cool gang once they see your Crocs?! Just make sure your kid is happy and settled and don't worry too much.

[quote cultkid]@Railingsohno

Well I'll judge you for not having any

They are a life changing addition to your wardrobe.

I've got two pairs actually 😀[/quote]
Life changing in a good way? Never ever!! They are the devil‘s work

I live in furry lined crocs. I have arthritis and they are one of the few things that don't hurt my feet. People are rude about them though, until I explain.

I think at first people are drawn to people who dress a bit like them. In our playground the stylish, groomed parents stand together, the active wear parents stand together, the branded tracksuit parents, that sort of thing.
Once people get to know each other and the kids choose the kids they like then everyone shuffles around a bit but at first people do make superficial judgements.

So many parents wear sports gear and say they’re off for a run/class/gym straight after dropping the kids off in the morning. I do wonder if any are just wearing sports gear to be comfy lazy while still looking socially acceptable, because that’s absolutely 100% what I would do. 😂