Does what you wear at the school gate affect how people treat you?

[cultkid]

I'm a novice to English schools, newbie to having a kid in school.

I wear some fairly bonkers outfits including pink crocs and sports trousers with a denim jacket 😆

Also I wear dresses too and can look normal

If I wore a tracksuit, would that change people's perceptions of me? What is comfy and easy, not always jeans because I am not a huge fan?

Is it bad to show up in crocs at the school gate?

Thank you

@cultkid

It's a funny area here though

I'm not sure I want to wear the obligatory striped top and yellow rain coat with pastel converse

Now who’s judging 🤔

Just wracking my brains trying to remember anything that the other parents were wearing this morning when I dropped DD off. They must have been wearing clothes, I'd have noticed if they were nude but I really can't remember anything specifically.

Unless you go in in a ball gown or undies I don't think you'd stand out to be honest.

The people I speak to at the gates are the ones with kids in my class that DD plays with and the ones who smile and seem like they're open to a bit of chat. That includes a woman with facial tattoos, a couple of stay at home mums, one with about 10 kids, a couple who always look smart and like they're on the way to the office. A compete mixed bag.

Anyone who steered clear because you have the wrong shoes on probably isn't worth knowing.

I don't really ever notice what other people are wearing at the school gates.
This morning I did though, but it's an observation that's not exclusive to school gates. It was pissing it down this morning and there were women and little girls still wearing sandals and flip flops. Soggy feet and moist toes. Get some proper shoes on FFS.

Yes most people will judge at first sight- I’m afraid it’s human nature and even if people say they don’t, they do inwardly even if just a little bit. However, if you are friendly, kind and a positive person, this won’t be an issue after the first couple of times- at least with the people who you actually want to associate with

I'm not sure I want to wear the obligatory striped top and yellow rain coat with pastel converse

Worrying that others will judge your clothing while the whole time you’ve been judging theres....

I just want to say that my mum was the whacky dresser at my school. It was so deeply embarrassing. Other mums would snigger / stare / avoid and it did lead to a girl throwing my new shoes in the bin in the playground.

She said “obviously you stole these. They’re far too normal for your mum to buy” or something like that.

My mum wasn’t quirky, whacky or arty. She was just lazy.

She realised she was the cause of me being bullied and luckily wore fairly normal clothes since then (and still does!!)

Tbh I'd wonder why you were trying so hard to be "wacky". Do you tell people how "crazy" you are too 😁

I know people think this shouldn't be true, but the most important part of the school run is helping your child fit in. What the parents think is irrelevant if other kids tease yours because "his mum's really weird".

I’d love a yellow rain coat! Where do I get them from?

(Sorry for the hijack!)

People will always form first opinions based on appearances but you'll crack up if you're regularly trying to predict what people will think. Just be who you are and let the chips fall where they may. I wouldn't be a fan of Crocs myself but would I avoid you at the school gate because of them? Absolutely not.

@Slippersandgin

I've seen them in Sainsbury's and next

They are nice but just not me

And no I don't really try to be whacky I'm not whacky

When I say a funky jumper I meant with something on not a plain one

Nothing else

I will wear jeans to school to blend in

But some UT mentioned about simmilar parents congregating, totally true.

I haven't ventured into the fluffy crocs yet but my husband has some and really loves them

The only place I wear Crocs is the garden!

As for a denim jacket and sports trousers (tracksuit bottoms? Leggings?), I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

TBH, the only thing that makes me hoik up my judgey pants is nightwear worn outside the house. It seems to be a fairly recent thing, but pyjamas and dressing gowns worn to the supermarket or the school gate is a big no-no.

@Slippersandgin

So sorry you were bullied

I do look very ordinary just not sure if the crocs were ok

I really don't look like anything artsy or cool
Although I wish I had more pezaz

@zafferana

Yes like slim fit yoga trousers
Light jumper or loose top
Denim jacket

Usually vans / converse

Quite often crocs if it's warmer weather and I rush out

I would say I've worn crocs to nursery 2 times a week for at least 2 years

I haven't ventured into the fluffy crocs yet but my husband has some and really loves them

Skechers Bobs are better.

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks

Are they the ones nurses wear
They look really comfy
Like the soft trainers

Really good for people on their feet all day? With elastic

I might try some for my back

My mums outfits would consist of - for example....

A bright pink knitted fluffy jumper
Black leggings with stirrups
Weird floral flip flops or colourful clogs

Or a white / pink striped blouse
With navy blue cardigan (sounds nice so far)
White Adidas sports trousers
White Clogs

Nice clothes. Just worn together at the wrong time!

Yes, I think it will. But it prob depends where you are. We’re in a “trendy” central London area and it’s not uncommon for people to be in designer stuff or yoga clothes (of the Lulu Lemon variety). But I don’t think I’ve ever seen any crocs....

Some mums wear leggings on a school run. It doesn't look good.

Crocs are evil.

I never thought about what to wear for drop off/ pick up. It didn’t cross my mind, I didn’t get to do it that often because of work so was just glad to be there. Appearance wise I was usually focusing on whether dc had the right (weather appropriate) shoes and coat.

I don't judge people on what they look like or what they wear. I judge people on how nice, kind and considerate they are. I usually wore jeans and trainers to school, unless I was on my way to work. Most parenst wore the same, or jodhpurs and boots or smart workwear.

I can see past "window dressing"

@cultkid - I don't know tbh. I just know I replaced my furry crocs with furry Bobs! Skechers are actually really really comfy imo, I have work shoes. Still a bit trainer-like, but no-one's complained.

School pick up is literally an in and out job for me, I keep my head down and do it all as quickly as possible, I really wouldn't look at what other parents are wearing. There is one 'quirky' mum but to be honest she gets maybe 5 seconds of my attention span if that, and that's only because I'm wishing I was brave enough to dress so amazingly

I'm sometimes tempted to wear funky jackets, hats etc on the school run, but I don't want other parents to gossip about me.

I’d love a yellow rain coat! Where do I get them from?

Joules or Seasalt I'd guess from the rest of the description.

I comoletely judge people by the clothes they choose to wear but there are several layers to that.

1. clothes I think are completely fabulous and I look forward to seeing what you are wearing (and secretly want to copy)
2. clothes that aren't necessarily to my taste but still indicate your class, educational level and interests are probably comparable to mine
3. clothes that aren't necessarily to my taste and that indicate you are a different class and education level and have different interests to me but are still appropriate for the occasion
4. wildly inappropriate clothing (e.g. wearing a swimsuit or your pyjamas to the school pickup)

Everyone has either come from somewhere or is on their way somewhere at pickup time so you see people in business clothes, sports gear or casual clothes. All completely normal, don't stress about it.

I don't have kids so don't do the school gate thing thank God but it sounds like the parents treat it as if they were still at school too, judging and bitching.