Does what you wear at the school gate affect how people treat you?

[cultkid]

I'm a novice to English schools, newbie to having a kid in school.

I wear some fairly bonkers outfits including pink crocs and sports trousers with a denim jacket 😆

Also I wear dresses too and can look normal

If I wore a tracksuit, would that change people's perceptions of me? What is comfy and easy, not always jeans because I am not a huge fan?

Is it bad to show up in crocs at the school gate?

Thank you

I’ve seen all sorts of weird stuff at the school gates when I’ve taken my granddaughter. It’s quite a middle class area and no one seems to care a jot who is wearing what. Everyone just seems occupied with getting the children in and out of school. Don’t worry - be yourself. I’d wear pink crocs.

I only notice what someone else is wearing if it’s something I’d like to wear myself!

Actually that’s a slight lie, I noticed a mum with very sheer crotch bearing leggings on Friday.

*baring

I find the only people that judge are parents whose first child is going to school for the first time..not because the are judgmental people, but they just don’t know the reality of it really not mattering yet what you wear to the school gate as no one is looking.

After October/November they discover that they too can dress how they like as no one notices.

No, I don't think it affect whether I'm friendly with someone. I notice what other people wear, to a degree, but it's not a big deal. More interested in whether they're friendly, kind, and funny.

And agree that school drop offs are about five mins of a day and certainly not something I factor in when choosing my clothes!

I mean Personal i don't care but most do scowl mind you i got all the mams pointing and looking at me when i picked the bairn up from school and I was dressed nice ( over dressed for a school run we was going out for dinner 😆 ) you get some lovely parents who don't care some who are catty jealous mums and some who are just a**holes ... you dress how you want you're there to take your bairn to school not do a fashion show for the school parents :) xx

Lol. I am not a first time school mum but I must confess to planning my outfits the night before during the week. Mainly because it makes mornings easier, but also because I enjoy clothes and I like to look nice (in my own head at least, don’t really care what other people think).

In the last week, I've worn

• Care Bear leggings (Tikiboo if anyone likes quirky gym wear) with a pink hoodie and hair in a messy bun, I was going straight on a run after drop off

• Jeans and a Skeletor t shirt, hair down, was bumming around WFH

• Formal tweed skirt, blouse and brown Doc Marten sandals, full face of make up, neat low bun, had to go into work

You probably wouldn't recognise me from one day to the next

I did school run in whatever I was wearing. Might be sport stuff (running kit, or awful tracksuit if just back from pool), casual clothes I've been working in, or something a little more smart if I've been to a meeting or conference.
I'm just out of year 6 and me and my son have plenty of friends.

Those that turn up in pjs yes. Someone with a quirky dress sense I would admire. I'm always in leggings, vest top and a mac. I bore myself frankly

I am usually in skinny jeans, trainers and a hoodie. No one at our school ever looks like they have dressed up for it. Usually they are dressed similar to me or in their work uniform. I'm not in a trendy area though!

Has anyone ever seen anyone turn up to school in pjs?

I have seen a parent rock up with a T-shirt that says “look at my nice tits”

‘‘Twas rather shocking (boobs not biscuits)

@Wrongdecider it was breakfast club which I thought was worse because she clearly wasn't going to work and just wanted to get rid of dc early doors.

@chubbyhotchoc blimey!

I’m quite boring at the school gates. Pinafore and tights or jeans and a top - I genuinely love striped tops. I am addicted to them.

All hidden by a boring black coat soon there’ll be a bobble hat to add too!

I'm mostly smart causaul to even out my snobby days where I just can not be arsed.

Not sure I judge and the mum.i like best has mermaid hair, but she is the most open and forward with me. Plus shes clever.

To be honest if you came in your PhD yes I'd judge you superficially and presume you a slob with low priorities and standards.

If you had pink crocs and say a suit on, or pink crocs and a pink vibe, or anything that looked weird teamed with crocs I would make assumptions about you. You could prove me wrong of course but past experiences with say arty farty people being aloof would put me off. That's just how humans are.

My DD is only 2 but I confess I have changed my clothes before collecting her at nursery a few times. I wish I was a stronger person and hadn't but I have an anxiety disorder and now that we have to queue up outside at pick up for about 10 minutes or so I feel very visible. Things I have changed out of have been t-shirts with particular slogans (nothing offensive! Just...youthful?), Very short shorts (although I saw a mum the other day and part of her cheeks were on show so I won't bother with that again lol), cheap muddy trainers, outfits that I've just thrown on so all random unmatching colours, and crop tops. I think I'm the youngest parent I've seen at drop off/collection and based in the price of the nursery and house prices in this area, likely to be one of the least well off families using the nursery (I'm mid twenties! But it's an affluent area and an expensive nursery, almost all the local parents are much older than me). So I guess I do have a bit of an inferiority complex. I need snapping out of it...

I've worn my old scraggy painting clothes, been suited and booted, and everything in between, and I wouldn't know if I've ever been judged as I really don't care! I talk to anyone about anything no matter what they are wearing, as I'm not judgemental! Wear what ever you want OP, because those that judge you aren't worthing knowing

When DD was in reception many moons ago one of the other mums, who I spoke to occasionally, said something along the lines of, 'you always look so put together, with your hair done and your lipstick on. I wish I was more like that'. I burst out laughing! I was envious of how relaxed she was, my feet were arching in heels and I was sweating in my suit while she was wearing cut offs and sandals. We are good friends now :-) Wear what is appropriate for you on the day.

It's more about how you behave. Most schools have both working parents and at home parents so there will be a complete mix of smarts, casual, work uniforms, sports or horse riding gear etc. Always one dad with shorts even in winter. And a few mums who seem to have dressed up for a night with the girls. They baffled me. But then we were a small school and all knew each other anyway.

Possibly if you looked like you were very intersted in fashion./well off you might attract a particular kind of person for that alone but would you want to?

Late to the party on this one but please just wear what you like. The parents who are friendly and worth knowing won't care what you wear. Out of my children's friends parents there's a huge mix (there are dressing gowns but some of those are the neo natal or emergency care NHS staff picking up after night shift) but it really isn't important what you have on.

Jeans and a hoody for me...I really don't care what ppl think. If they judge me based solely on my clothing then they are not my type of person...and I'm the teacher too not just the parent 🤣🤣

This thread is interesting. So if I go and drop dc off in the morning with let's say, gym leggings, nice gym shoes and nice tracksuit jacket and say I'm off to yoga after this and pick dc up dressed nicely, would that make a difference :) I'm not a morning person, I used to do my make up on the train on the way to work and no with dc children, getting out of the house on time despite waking up early is like a military mission.

I don’t think I really understand why you’re asking. Surely you know that wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, there are some people who will judge the way you look? Being on the school run doesn’t change that. The question is do you care? It already sounds as if you’ve decided that you don’t (and in fact you’ve made a judgement yourself about yellow raincoats and converse), you’re obviously not going to change what you wear for fear or being judged (quite rightly), so what is the point of the question?