Does what you wear at the school gate affect how people treat you?

[cultkid]

I'm a novice to English schools, newbie to having a kid in school.

I wear some fairly bonkers outfits including pink crocs and sports trousers with a denim jacket 😆

Also I wear dresses too and can look normal

If I wore a tracksuit, would that change people's perceptions of me? What is comfy and easy, not always jeans because I am not a huge fan?

Is it bad to show up in crocs at the school gate?

Thank you

Jaysis, I drop and run.

might have a few nods to the parents face I recognise but I couldn't tell you who their children are, who they are or what they are wearing

mind you I am in Ireland, I wonder if this is an English thing?

I would briefly judge someone in their pjs with UGGs but then I would have a word with myself

[quote cultkid]@Hailtomyteeth

Hmmm interesting post..

I would say being down to earth, around for the children, cooking, outdoors, speaking two languages, raising my son with multiple cultures that form his heritage, being non judgemental about other kids parents (clothes??) would be good enough to make some stable friends

If they think me wearing crocs makes me a lesser person then they will be wrong.

I'm willing to sacrifice the crocs. On the school run.

I also wear lots of nice clothes. Sometimes it's good keeping a low profile in regards to your appearance.

The teachers will like me I don't worry about that, I am engaged and care about my son and that is really all they ask.

Weird post you made.[/quote]
It wasnt weird at all! It was what you asked for! I totally agree with the poster who said that as well. People are attracted to what they internalise as positive.
Are you uncomfortable with how you look?

Also, I am so glad I work and drop at kid club. I couldn't be dealing with this level of analysis.

@elizabethdraper

I went to school in Ireland
That's why I'm asking 😆😆

@Slippersandgin

I’d love a yellow rain coat! Where do I get them from?

(Sorry for the hijack!)

I got mine in Tesco, every single person I meet was wearing the same one.

5 mammys inc myself had the same jacket. we all headed out together at lunchtime. we looked like a yellow raincoat convention

I always make sure that I'm dressed and groomed in the style that is acceptable to the only person whose opinion about it matters.

Me.

If people judge and don't like that, then there is the added bonus that they'll automatically take themselves out of the group of potential friends. I'm never ever going to want to be friends with someone who judges someone else like that - how very shallow.

The drop off and pick up are just that - I'm basically a method by which my children travel to and from school.

The very idea of dressing so that my children are socially acceptable is utterly ridiculous. The same people who judge them based on my appearance would be the ones whose darling children judge my children for being autistic. We don't make space for that kind of rubbish in our lives.

I think sometimes people can try just a bit too hard to be “bonkers” and I’d probably judge you for that first

Mind you, I do now want a yellow raincoat...

I’m about to enter into the school drop off for the first time and it’s absolutely cracking me up that they keep discussing fashion for mums (why not dads) on tv for the school drop off and what we should be wearing. I honestly have not got the time or care about what I’m going to wear. I will throw on a pair of jeans and a t shirt. My priority is getting my son settled in at school. If people are not going to talk to me because they don’t approve of my outfit then I reckon I’ve had a lucky escape!

Well, I wear what I want to wear - I'm shy, introverted, definitely not a follower of any kind of fashion. At our school, there is a huge mix - lots of different cultures, so people who wear clothes from those cultures, there are those who wear the striped-top-yellow-raincoat-pastel-converse-type clothes, there's a mum who wears pretty 'out there' outfits that I could never get away with but would love to have the confidence to wear - she always looks great - there are mums done up to the nines, those in active wear, there are others in pyjama bottoms with a coat hiding the rest! Me, I'm normally casual -jeans and some kind of top, no make up because I never wear it, hair brushed but not styled in any way. I'm sure people do judge, but I would never dress a certain way to attract certain parents. My shy, introverted self has made some lovely friends at the school gates. Pretty sure there's plenty of judging that goes on too, but I don't get involved with any of that. Clothes, to me, are much less important than a friendly demeanour.

[quote cultkid]@Hailtomyteeth

Hmmm interesting post..

I would say being down to earth, around for the children, cooking, outdoors, speaking two languages, raising my son with multiple cultures that form his heritage, being non judgemental about other kids parents (clothes??) would be good enough to make some stable friends

If they think me wearing crocs makes me a lesser person then they will be wrong.

I'm willing to sacrifice the crocs. On the school run.

I also wear lots of nice clothes. Sometimes it's good keeping a low profile in regards to your appearance.

The teachers will like me I don't worry about that, I am engaged and care about my son and that is really all they ask.

Weird post you made.[/quote]
Have to wonder why you asked!

[quote cultkid]@elizabethdraper

I went to school in Ireland
That's why I'm asking 😆😆[/quote]
then you will be fine then. today I was in bright orange leggings, a black dress, bright orange trainers, and my hair was wrapped in an orange and purple headscarf

tomorrow, I will be going straight to the gym after so will be in my gym gear probably with a rain jacket

I wouldn't worry about it, my child is very popular going by the amount of party requests and he playdates he goes on

I have no idea what people wear on school drop off. We have two mums who wear a niqab, one who wears quite noticeably eccentric clothing (of whom I am quite envious because I have to dress conservatively for work) and then a few hundred others who presumably wear something pretty ordinary. Occasionally I will notice that someone has something nice on and maybe compliment them on it, otherwise not a clue. I would have no idea if any of them ever wear crocs or a patterened jumper. But I'm not a popular mum so maybe they're all judging me for my DMs and 70s style coat and have stayed away!

I definitely notice what people wear but that's just because I'm interested in clothes and usually looking for inspiration. I like seeing different sorts of styles and outfits so I'd enjoy seeing you at the gates I think! And wouldn't judge you negatively.

However, I'm often dressed boringly and weather appropriately as we cycle to school, so you might be judging me on my dull stripy tops and waterproof jacket! If I picked up on that vibe, that's what would prevent me from talking to you, not your Crocs.

@elizabethdraper Good on you.

But how long do you all stay there to do all of this croc-watching?
I took DD to school at primary but just shoved her in the gate and ran.
No idea since then.
Is it really a thing? .

Think you will find that some days people are 'presentable'.

Other days when the alarm doesn't go off or their child has a meltdown about something or other and they look as if they have been dragged through a hedge backwards.

All part of the human condition. It is not supposed to be a beauty contest.

Also its good to walk and not drive so are crocs comfortable, I don't know. Never worn any.

I'd only raise an eye at PJ
s as I think it's setting a bad example, other than that I really don't care. Unless of course it's summer and the odd few turn up in crop tops and tiny shorts ,which again, I think is inappropriate.

DM’s are cool at my DS’s school I sometimes wear my cherry red ones and people often compliment me.

Nobody would ever wear pyjamas to the school drop off though - would they?

Glad my mum never did that!

And if it rains a raincoat is good. In snow a decent parka and wellies...

I am usually rushing back from work for school pickup so still dressed in work clothes, which is smart/business dress. The vast majority of parents at this school are very casual and I think what I wear puts people off as I don't fit in, not many of them talk to me unless I speak first and I wonder if they think I'm stuck up.

I would judge PJs/dressing gown but certainly not a tracksuit or crocs.

Crocs weren't invented when my kids were at school or I'd've worn them everywhere as I do now.

Back then I wore DMs with whatever else I had time to drag on. If anyone judged me I didn't know and I certainly didn't judge anyone else.

The only judgements I make on clothing for the school run is based on nightwear. That doesn't belong outdoors except for bin taking out duties at a push, my mother frowns on that even or emergencies (being late is not an emergency).

We have the full range of professionals in suits then through the various stages of smart/casual until you reach the leisurewear/leggings people. What other parents wear doesn't bother me in the slightest...how they act and treat people does.

I'm non-conformist when it comes to clothing (comfortable wins over style every time) but my children have still somehow managed to make friends with a wide variety of friends from all sorts of backgrounds.

I do notice what people wear but in a non judgemental way- I just like fashion! I myself wear gym wear and no makeup ... OR just what I normally wear and I make an effort anyway it’s not specifically for the school run.
Crocs arent my cup of tea but I’m not the one wearing them so If you like your crocs wear them!

My daughter is just going into year 2. The parents of her friends all dress differently, some scruffy, some very smart.

Really can't believe some people would police their child's friendships because of what their parents wear!! Who has time for that shit?

For the school run I wear what I choose to wear for the day- the school run has no effect on my clothing choice. Either work clothes, jeans etc. If people don't want to talk to me because of what I'm wearing than that's their loss- no way will I change what I wear to impress others at the school gate!!