How to not look middle aged

[Justtakeatowel]

I've seen a few pictures of my recently and I look frumpy. I don't mind looking my age (mid 40s) but I just look uurgh.

I've started curly girl and I think curly hair ages me loads! Where do I need to buy from to make myself a bit more with it? I've a tendency to buy cheap supermarket stuff which I think isn't always cut the best and I'm willing to spend a bit more.

I'm 5 ft 7 and 9 stone 9 if that makes a difference but a definite apple and have a bit of a belly which I think adds to the frumpiness

Thanks!

I've enjoyed reading this thread as someone about to turn 40.

I have to totally disagree about Botox. It works like no face cream ever will. It makes me look fresher, not younger, I can always move my forehead.

Prescription retinol and a bit of Botox works wonders.

I agree @completelylostit. I had my colours done about 30 years ago, then had them redone as a Christmas present. Interestingly, while I still remain a winter, there were a few colour changes. 30 years ago you just had the four seasons without any sub divisions.

I am now a jewel winter, so the recommendations upthread for camel coats and tan accessories are a complete no no for me. Beige/tan/brown colours simply drain me and make me look ill.

I used to love watching Trinny and Susannah, and followed some of the excellent advice on there. The programme gave me the courage to wear a style I wouldn't have thought of before, and now realise really suits me.

You are tall and can easily carry off lots of styles so maybe update your wardrobe, have a simpler hair cut, experiment with make up.
Skincare IMO is the most important. Reducing wrinkles, crepiness and crow's feet is a must. You do not need to resort to the fakeness of botox or fillers. I found out about this very cheap filler cream and it is amazing. They sell it on eBay if you buy from there. Read the reviews. It's called Derma V10 Deep Wrinkle Collagen Filler and you really will look years younger after using it - plump lips too which takes the middle aged pincer lips away!
Good luck op and have fun reinventing yourself.

I think it’s true that after a certain age it’s face or figure. I am quite thin (thin, note, not slim) and now in my 50s I look quite haggard. I once saw a famous older celebrity in a hotel gym and she looked amazing from the back. She turned round and it was Alice Cooper on a bad day.

Justtakeatowel I have naturally curly hair, wilful just not quite stylish curly hair. When I wear it 'natural' my friends coo over how lovely it is. It isn't. It's just a mess! I discovered hot brush styling last year and it's changed the life of my hair. I used to straighten and it just looked weird. The hot brush (I use Babyliss Big Hair) makes it look like it's just been professionally blow dried. It smooths and straightens, but leaves the body. And it's effortless. I'm aware I sound like an advert but it has transformed the way I feel about my hair.

It’s handy having curly hair. You can do the messy up-do art teacher thing. Dm had really curly hair and was always slathering grease and oil on it to calm it down. I otoh have fine hair “as straight as a yard of pump water”. My hair laughs in the face of any attempts at putting it up/chignons etc.

Since the idea of a hair-do sends me reaching for the care home brochure I just stick in the groove of shoulder-length hair cut myself. It’s getting a bit Mary Beard, though. What is worse, stylish people, hair-do or Mary Beard look?

@IrmaFayLear, looking good only from behind is also referred to as BOBFOC (Body of Baywatch, Face of Crimewatch). Men are not immune - see Daniel Craig, for example (sorry Daniel, if you’re reading this, not that I would say no if you asked lol!).

know the feeling! am five two, 52 and have managed to keep the bulge in check by cycling. Have followed a lot of the clothes advice as by not buying cheap items but ones that will keep shape and last longer than 1 wash without going baggy. Would say (to anyone) avoid leggings unless you're not leaving the house. I wear heels a lot because otherwise I cant reach things on top supermarket shelves. Or much else! But I wear either heeled Doc Marten boots in winter or a pair of thick soled DM sandals in the summer. Being short, longer flared skirts, unless they're tiered, look frumpy so I wear at or above the knee fitted skirts with tights and DMs or a pencil skirt usually with the DM boots.
Good skin care is key though I think. A bit of subtle hair dying close to the original shade is also ok I think. And good haircut!

@marigoldsmarigolds and @IrmaFayLear I think we often want different hair than we have! This is the back of my hair which I like but the front just doesn’t seem to grow so sticks out at right angles and is a nightmare. I attempted a headscarf only for my children to give me very odd looks (I do agree with them as it gets rid of all volume and makes me look strange!)
It needs an inch off the bottom whilst I grow down the sides as I’m hoping if it was longer at the front I could get decent curls and waves. The front in the picture I’ve attached is one of my better days but it’s not good really as no volume!
I’ve heard of the babybliss thing but never tried it!!

I would kill for that hair, justtakeatowel!

OP perhaps you could get your hair cut into a more modern curly style by a hairdresser who specialises in curls? You look great though :)

@IrmaFayLear it's funny as one of my closest friends has what she describes as fine nothing hair but I'd love hair I could just wash and go with, mine doesn't always curl like this it is all very inconsistent! I do like the curls at the back, it's just a waiting game to see if the front will grow. I've not had it cut now since January as my appointment was in March for a cut and colour but that was cancelled. It definitely needs some love! I need to find a curly hairdresser I think.

Following

You have great legs, not RTFT so not sure if you've said what style of jeans you wear but you must go for good skinny jeans to show off your legs. I'm nearing 50 and went through a really frumpy stage after having DS when I was mid 30s., I started wearing clothes from fat face, white stuff etc and had no 'style' whatsoever, just "comfy" and casual. I got into Pinterest and collected ideas I liked, also looked for inspiration, mine was Emmanuel Alt, Charlotte Gainsbourg mainly, cool French look basically. My main look is skinny jeans, good boots or fashion trainers (I spend a lot on footwear), well cut t-shirts (dark colours) and usually a utility khaki shirt loose or sweatshirt style zipper cardigan. If you haven't gone to a "salon" for a haircut (meaning a trendy one in a city) you might want to do that. A bit of a messy bob, shorter at the back would look good imo, with your wavy hair.

I think your hair looks nice

You look great justtake

No ones hair is going to be salon perfect in lockdown anyway so it's the new norm

My fringe is now a disaster thanks to my bad scissor technique

OP I love your hair!

Your hair looks lovely.

Op do you use product in your hair? Because some product aimed at defining curls and volume could really make a difference. It looks like it’s just left natural.

So basically op, you have cracking legs, lovely hair and a good shape with no issues that decent underwear wouldn't sort out.

The main thing seems to be that you've fallen into a bit of a style rut, as happens to most of us from time to time. The only way I know out of such a rut is to take a few risks and try things that you wouldn't normally wear.

I might be contradicting myself here but I wouldn't rush into spending more on better fabrics just yet. I've wasted a lot of money that way and now I advocate experimenting first and not taking any of it too seriously. The time for investing is when you're more confident about what you want. (But go for better underwear now as it can make even crap fabrics hang better.)

Well, I'm 63 so I guess that makes me middle aged. I've just cycled to nearest town for shopping and, as usual, wore my favourite dungarees, a long sleeved t-shirt and Birkenstock sandals. It's a tiny town but had three requests for where I buy my dungarees. So, I guess I look okay. Lockdown hair still, just usual henna and no make up. I would never have botox or fillers. Just get lots of fresh air, try and love your life and stay positive and lastly SMILE - takes years off you.

@Bluntness100 I’ve loads of product as following curly girl so it’s got a curl activator in it and some gel. I might need to add more and I also need to master the diffuser as this might help! Apparently I’m currently in transition so I have days when the curls is just a frizzy mess. That picture is a good day!

@Floisme that’s it really, I think I just go past stuff in the supermarket and think it’s ok but it doesn’t quite hit the mark. That pink jumper was quite a brave choice for me!!

Someone else further up thread said about it being plain and I agree, there’s not much flare! I’ve started following a few people on Instagram to hopefully give me some ideas. I think I need to gradually add a couple of pieces and see how it goes! I’m sure I’ve some stuff that’s ok.

I was going to try an online colours things as I think that would help too. I know I don’t suit yellow as my skin is quite sallow.

I have to disagree with a PP saying that the 50's style looks good, I think it's a style you have to be very careful with or you can look like you're playing dress up. It can look great with little touches but I think going for an all out 'theme' is probably not a great way to go for most people.

I don't mind looking middle-aged, because I am middle aged, I just don't want to look much older than I am I suppose. I don't want people to think that I'm 'well preserved for her age' (groan) I want to look like I look after myself but I'm quite low maintenance anyway. Decent haircut, clean nails, ironed clothes (sorry Mnetters and a smile go a long way.

Justtake I have a fab. exercise to create volume and to stop hair falling out! You just put each hand with just your finger tips either side of where your central parting is (or would be) and move the skin , not the hair, backwards and forwards, to the count of 20. round the side of the skull too. Do it whenever you feel like it!
It really helps, my hair is thick and is one of my best features.